h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

[Ours is on the corner of the meadow boulevard and the forest alley. And there is neither meadow nor forest in sight ]

It's a pun thread


doughnut you expect me to believe those

I was double parked in front of the spice shop so the owner had a truck pull my caraway

It was closely followed by the cinnamonster

I sent my mam a cardamom it was her birthday

I bent down to pick up a shilling and dropped a pound in the process. It was a coin-cidence

it's sexism again

pungent! So where's the pun-lady ????

- Do you know what Sin City is?

- Yeah, it's Las Vegas

- Right, do you know what Den City is?

- No

- Mass over volume

His lordship returned to the manor from a fox hunt after his not so noble stallion had thrown him off in a pile of manure.

He was henceforth referred to by the villagers as "pun-gent"

an animal that sleeps on a rod ??

napoleon

ok so nap pole lion

I got tricked - but treated myself to a from the Hall O'Wieners

There is a short chap in a pointy hat who makes sure the underground railway runs on time.

He's the metro gnome

Together with his mathematician twin brother, he is at the centre of the bi-gnomial distribution.

"the metro gnome" Politician swings from far left to far right

How can you be politically correct when politics clearly aren't.

What do you call plans to extract diamonds from the upper levels of the atmosphere?
Stratagems

I would never take an axe and chop up my computer's office programs. I won't mince words about this

Marvel's Kang the Conqueror has become an expert in dancing the Kang Kang (Can Can).

raindeer didn't wear waterproof coats and got soaked

If clothing has been labeled waterproof, it usually only goes for the actual label.

Mary Christmas wasn't related to