h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

After opening, just plug it in and it will install itself!

What's an it! ? There's no info on the install leaflet ?

How do you like the new stairwell

It's fine, but why does a well need stairs?

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Knock knock

Who's there?

Doctor Zeus

Doctor Zeus who?

I'm looking for Horton. Can he hear me?

Atheism, a non prophet organisation

Some of those organisations make a lot of prophet.

In order to carry Atheism beyond belief there is no god, you would have to actively prove there is nothing. (Otherwise it is just agnosticism). Science has shown that proof of non-existence can be really hard. (Did you look hard enough? Did you really look everywhere? How about anywhere? Or anywhen?)

I find diamonds too hard to believe

The wisdom of the sweet potato philosopher: I think, therefore a yam

The shouted on his 80th birthday...Aye matey!

In Jamaica a pie costs $4.50. In Cuba, it costs $6.50. In the Virgin islands, it costs between $3.99 and $7.99, depending on size and type Those are the pie rates of the Caribbean

!


6 was scared of 7
Because 7 was a six offender

Extension: When your former partner hasn't even started looking for alternative accomodation, three years after the violent breakup.

Kang the Conqueror dances the Kangkang (Cancan) when making incursions into various universes which causes all sorts of mayhem.

Armageddon tired of doomsday prophets

meat me on the lawn tonight darling!

Lambs to the slaughter ??

It takes 10 tickles to make a octopus to

That's a fine pear you've got

Stop looking at my breasts

The Archery Association has a clubhouse in a small alley down by the waterside. Its cafeteria is decorated like a pub and called The strait and Arrow

I would have called it the DUCK!!!

DUCK!

Oh dear! Heads he lost Tails maybe ???

Why did I join a photography club? I was looking for cameraderie.

She threw herself into herb gardening. She learned the Latin names for all the herbs, and treated the young plants as if they were her children. When would she become a true expert in the field? It was only a matter of thyme.

True story:

Our local McDonalds is situated on the Burgemeester Burgers Laan (Mayor Burgers Lane). Their most sold condiment is mayornaise.