h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Are cows the original bicorns?
If you crossed them with unicorns, would you then get tricorns?

Triceratops maybe?

I am a fan of Triceratops. T-rexes are overrated.

If Dino soars ? are they classed as ufo's ?

My dog was a melon collie baby. She was melancholy because her half-brother, a skye terrier, flew off and never came back.

My half-brother was attacked by a shark. He lost a couple limbs saving me. He said he would give an arm and leg to keep me safe, and he did -- literally.

When on a leash it turned into a Borderline Collie.

Did you hear about the dog who became a renowned chef. He specialized in German Shepherd's pies

Is that cannibalism or caninebalism

That pitcher threw a canny ball

What you need is a pitcher who can handle a steady stream of balls

There was a Doberman pitcher he couldn't tell the difference between a baseball and a

and

With all the talk about orcas attackig yachts, Ive been thinking about a report that an orca was seen riding a dolphin. It was no accident. He did it on porpoise

Did you hear about the dog who became a renowned chef. He specialized in German Shepherd's pies

Ewer Flaskly grew up in Hell's Kitchen and went on to be a pitcher for the Margaritaville baseball team

Son! Don't bite your tongue!

Remember your an viper/adder....

(brit' poisonous snake )

Why they were arrested:

Jar of spice:"I maced someone."

Scarf: "I was an accessory to a fashion crime"

Cement block: "I helped someone sleep with the fishes"

Ham actor: "I chewed the scenery"

Godzilla: "I'm innocent. I was hungry, so I decided to go eat up the street."

Street food?

Don't woodworms have a boring job ?

The Police were about to arrest the notorious hacker, but he ran somewhere.

The daft woodworm found dead in a brick

Mrs. and Mrs. Breadslice were arguing.

He: I'm the breadwinner while you loaf all day.

She: Let's not argue about dough. That would be a crumby thing to do.

Re-pungent ? Is that a bloke telling the same pun again ?