h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

What lives beneath a lime?
A sub-lime-nation.

She was teed off with her bad start, driving the ball almost beyond the green, but she was able to putt it behind her.

freeze a jolly good fellow

How can you yell if an artist is alive?

Ask if he can draw a breath.

Bambi had been sick for a while. Doctors replaced an auricle and a ventricle, after which Bambi made a halfharted recovery.

The cardiologist was heart broken as their date who met on a dating site forgot to send a Valentines card and did not up at their restaurant for their Valentines data but instead sent a text to break up.

Captain Cold was given the cold shoulder after serving up cold shoulder of lamb to Heat Wave when he forecasted that there would be a heat wave this summer but later turned out to be a wash out.

In the frozen north, the Laplanders favourite Disney animated musical film is 'Frozen'. They would have a 'Frozen' themed karaoke where contestants will lap up the praise and admiration that they received from the audience.

Why do grizzlies never look sad?
Because whenever they have a problem, they just grin and bear it.

They do that in Beirut, too.

There's a fine little shop in Beirut, specialized in from the Middle East. My favourites are from Nazareth.

What a friend we have in

The big of the board would get ed off at the annual board meeting if the buffet lunch different have her favourite on the board.

The big of the board would get ed off at the board directors annual board meeting if the buffet lunch did not have her favourite es on the board.

Are the puns in this thread getting cheesier?

Would they go down easier with a handful of grapes - or would an attempt like that be fruitless?

Ap-pear-ently it would.

don't get melon'colly, keep punning22997 posts can't all be wrong

More than enough for an h2g2 book suitable for news stands with careful and judicious editing.

A reliquary would be an ideal place to give someone the finger.