h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

An old friend of mine and I used to make up punch lines to jokes that didn't exist. My favourite was:

"Pick the bottle up? She can pull out the cork!"

Any others come to mind?

"English? Oh, I just thought she was dead."



~jwf~

"And she can stuff it in again...even sideways...'

"All I did was put my hand.....look, there goes another one!"

Pardon me, Roy! Is that the cat who ate your new shoes?

"It's all right, I'm on me bike"

Careful your Holiness, It's still hot!

.....and then he told me how he knew about the mole.

...and what hadn't already fell out, just trickled down his leg.

Two: one in the nose, and one for the rabbit.

And the moral is, don't tell a troll how to cook lunch on top of the bridge.

which is when he discovered the horse...
and she banged her head on the ceiling with her finger.

Then he said "How long have you believed in genies?".

Hans that do dishes can be as soft as Gervais, with vile green hairy lipped squid

"said the bartender: "That's not a duck!"

From Coronation Street:

"Me? Pro-active? I'm a woman Marcus not a yoghurt!"



~jwf~

"No, I'm Carl from Accounting, I've worked here for years!"


~jwf~

Sorry SWL. Disqualified.



Exists in jokeworld and is one of my favourites of ALL time.

Actually it is 'Pardon me, Roy! Is that the cat who CHEWED your new shoes?'

PP

Several violations, actually but all in good fun!



'But if I put it there, won't Uncle Fred be upset?'


(This is dangerously close to becoming another Non Sequitur thread.)

A geologist and a geophysicist walk into a bar together.





>> (This is dangerously close to becoming another
Non Sequitur thread.)<<

The difference here is that the poster does know
what the backstory is. By definition a 'non sequitur'
has 'no continuity'.

Like my line above will be hilarious to anyone who
understands the shism, nay the chasm, that exists
between those two apparently similar occupations.
It's worse than lighting versus sound guys, beyond
disruptive and counter-productive, it gets personal;
they would not socialize or be seen in a bar together.


~jwf~