h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Have fun in court then.

I just think its a bit irksome for a them to have cow advertising the fact that it is going to be killed and eaten. Like that is something it would be happy to be a part of. Look at me! I'm going to be a Burger King burger! Hooray!

I laughed out loud at an ad last night.

It was for Jameson whisky, and it was an old Japanese bloke playing Dance with the Devil on the drums.

Beggar all to do with whisky, I grant you, but funny nontheless.

Why? It's not like the cow *knows* it's advertising its fate.

As far as its concerned all that's happened is some odd bloke's slapped some wet stuff on its side.

Whether or not the cow would chose to advertise it's fate is, I'm afraid wholly irrelevent to the fact that it will end up as human fodder. Frankly we'd all be a little better served by a little more honesty about our food chain.

Who knows, if we actually remembered that BK came from cows we might care which bit of the cow it was, instead of letting them use the lips, hooves and arseholes that they probably do.

"P'raps a nice bit of moi liver... Oi've bin force feedin' myself for months!"

Given that in this day and age one in three kids don't know that chips are made from potatoes anything which makes it abundantly clear what the food is made of is a good thing...

Oh, and for the people who are going on about the dubious meat in the burgers:
1) if it really was that dubious trading standards would kick them from here to next Tuesday.
2) you're obviously confusing Burger King and McDonald's.

I saw that whisky ad - it is a straight rip off of the recent smirnoff ads, but I can't for the life of me remeber the tagline. Something like 'not the usual'?

< Given that in this day and age one in three kids don't know that chips are made from potatoes anything which makes it abundantly clear what the food is made of is a good thing... >

When I was little I thought that broccoli was made from trees and cauliflower was made from mushrooms! Apparently when I was four we were eating chicken and I asked my mum "How do they get the chicken to stop running around so it goes on our plates?". Perhaps a little more information is a good thing, though I don't know how you nicely explain the killing of farmyard animals to a small child.

Okay then. The killer ->

You know you're over 30 if you recognise, and can complete, the following:

"It's nice to find a comfortable chair when you're getting on a bit, or you've got arthritis. My neice got this from .... you know.
First she sent for their brochure. Then she went to the showroom. They'd over a hundred chairs to choose from!"

ALL TOGETHER NOW:

"......"

Someone had commented earlier that "KP salted peanuts have a note on the side of them saying "may contain nuts" I ruddy hope so, otherwise I've just bought an empty packet!"

This isn't stupid advertising- it's a necessary warning. Peanuts are legumes, not nuts. Many people (including myself) who are capable of eating peanuts with no ill effects are deathly allergic to nuts. Some people need to avoid all traces of nuts and nut oil, even to the extent of not eating any food processed at a facility which handles nuts.

In addition to Cosmetic ads, ads for purfume and/or cologne are incedibly stupid. I guess they're trying to make them seem arty-farty or something, but they wind up being pointless and pretentious.

And Old Navy commercials are painfully annoying, aren't they?

I'm actually kind of bummed that I rarely watch TV and have missed out on many of the highly entertaining TV ads described here. I haven't seen a billboard in ages, but those used to have some really great ones, too, especially the ones advertizing beer.

Back to the loan ads...

"We've got more going out then we've got coming in"

Maybe you should'nt be buying a car you idiots!!!

How about the 'Picture loans' ad, the one where the jerk in the jumper is talking chattily about football to a helpful loan salesman on the phone while his wife videos the event.

"Oh yes the lads were great on Saturday, played a blinder.......erm, hang on i'll just check.(to wife) He says how much? Ok, yes, about £25,000. Nothing more to it? Well that'll save her a job. Ho-ho-ho-ho"

Do what? And pesumably you are videoing it to show the children in years to come how you blew their inheritance and condemmed them to an adolescence in poverty on a whim?

What about that old loan advert where his friend is telling him to buy a race horse:

"You could buy that race horse never mind back it"

I've seen it again - the ad that made so little sense that I promptly forgot it and the product it was advertising. It goes like this: Two young men go into a kebab shop. One buys a kebab and then rubs it all over his face and body before discarding it. His friend hands him the product the ad is for - Oxy cleansing wipes.

I'm obviously not the target market for the product, so it doesn't matter that I find the ad totally meaningless. But how does an ad like that actually 'sell' the product to the target market?

Burger King - I find the BK cow quite funny, but if they couldn't afford Ardal O'Hanlon they shouldn't have bothered. Much like the ads a few years back with someone that wasn't Patricia Routledge doing a Hyancinth Bucket.


I saw an ad for more Loreal gloop earlier, gloop which has apparently been voted 'product of the year'. Voted by who? Competing against what?

"But how does an ad like that actually 'sell' the product to the target market?"

As far as the advertising industry goes I have visions of loads of pr1cks sitting round a table back slapping each other and telling each other how clever they are while they're 'creatively' screwing the client.

I see a group of them in a pub scribbling an idea on the back of a barmat and being paid several thousand pound for the result!!!

Had to post this somewhere. There's a new TV ad out for a Nissan something or other, huge ugly black and chrome thing, with the tagline "It gets respect" .

There was a spoof commercial on the Simpsons last night along the same lines, for the Canyonero - a massive SUV with safety problems. In the ad, this thing forces a school bus off the road, the bus hits a tree and bursts into flames, but all the kids poke their heads out the broken windows to salute the SUV. And this episode predates the Nissan ad by several years.

The one that I found most annoying over Christmas was for "celebrations", the chocolates. Where everyone is dancing and clapping in the street to that Blues Brothers tune - "Everybody needs somebody".

Except they're all dancing and clapping out of synch!

And have these people never heard of Kool and the Gang?

Not if they're lucky...

I must confess that the present Audi advert strikes me as bad and wrong. Why compare your product to a spider, obne of the creatures most loathed by a great number of people?