h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Its been superceded by amino-protein complexes and pro-retinol A.

and Pro-tensium.

You're not keeping up with the times, Special Agent...these days they're using co-resistium technology!

What! They just *made that up*, surely?

RF

Well according to 75% (of the 52) women sampled pro-tensium gave an instant tautening effect.

Mush rush out and get some.

Eight out of ten cats agree!!!

Tautening? I take it this is the main effectification of applicationising the cream.

Cillit bang! yes.
the 1st thing he says is "Hi, I'm Barry Scott" and I think, and Why am I supposed to know you and why do I even care. Now let's turn the tv over.

Adverts for a mascara the makers claim can make my lashes look X amount of times thicker, X amount of times longer.
Yep, again. If you really want long eyelashes just start taking the medication I'm on for glaucoma (azopt), it makes the eyelashes grow long, thick and mentally fast!

A Grauniad thing about Cilit Bang:

http://www.guardian.co.uk/theguide/columnists/story/0,,1596422,00.html

That's the third time I've posted that on HooToo! Odd how these things crop up.

http://www.guardian.co.uk/uk_news/story/0,,1585687,00.html

Hmmm.

Why does the guy in the cillit bang ad need to shout? I could understand if he was advertising earing aids.

Yeah, seen the first article before. Never let the truth get in the way of a good story, eh?

RF

Could it be a subtle ploy?

'Is Barry Scott too loud? Try a pair of Barry Barriers by Scott Gone, from the people that brought you Cilit Bang.'

Yeah I guess I am getting a bit behind.... I think maybe I need to get some more fruit micro-oils into my hair (because the fruit oils in my usual shampoo are too large).

Or maybe I need some friendly bacteria to top-up the good bacteria in my "tummy". But I just don't know which is best - Bifidus digestivum or L. casei immunitas! Oh the dilemma!!

Oh yeah and of course some Cillit Bang to get rid of all those chunks of calcium I've got lying around...

WKD. The first 400 times the idiots doing slo-mo wrestling was quite amusing, but enough already!

(Though nothing beats the sheer irritation of the Nasdaq adverts that were run during NFL games for years...

Though I *do* like the new Wickes ads running during premniership football on Australian Broadcasting atm.

That Carling advert with the two blokes racing back to their flat to get to the recliner first... there are several things wrong with it.
Firstly, the usual implication that all men are obsessed with lager, football and comfort and will go through Hell to get them.
Secondly, the flat shown is far too small for two people to share without killing each other.
Thirdly, why don't they just get two smaller, but still comfortable chairs? This will a) give them more room in the flat and b) stop them behaving like morons.

Am I over-analysing this too much? Probably.

The worst shouty advert is for an advert no-one has seen outside Adelaide. I talk of the Weyville showgrounds.

Imagine an auctioneer trying to give you reasons to buy factory outlet carpets for two minutes. If you haven't got a headache after that you must be on some strong medication!!!

No, Coalseal Windows! 'You buy one, you get one free! I say you buy one, you get one free!'.

*Shudder*

The Coldseal bloke frightens me.

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