h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Men only need to be the "perfect toy" to be able to breath through their ears


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So... what about the readings?
In my tender teenager years I read Dafnis and Cloe, a bucolic novel written BC, by Longo. It is the story of two shepherd teenagers. The only erotic scene is between a mature woman and the young man. She teaches him the delicatessens of sex.

I read many more. Memories of a German Singer, recommendable.
Also some titles from a collection called "THe vertical smile".
Erotic literature can be as helpful as toys. It gives you ideas for "role-playing" And lots of fantasies to think about.

And what about films?

I'm definitely more interested in reading good erotica (hell, it doesn't have to be good, so long as it's better than a Daily Star letters page, i'm good...) than watching porn (or 'erotica' though I've not seen any genuinely pleasing erotic art on film)...

I wonder if there's much 'talking book' erotica on the market? Any ideas? imagine something read by a voice that you find pleasant, perhaps Jean Luc Picard? 007 himself (Mr Connery of course!)? Or a woman if you're so inclined... Nothing porny, a straight reading without dodgy sound effects. Hm!

Hey, that of listening would be great. Tell us if you find something

Meanwhile...

I wonder why some men don´t like cunnilingus. Why, oh, why?

Who can refuse the taste of pleausure?

They're the same kind of men who'd insist on eating a mango with a knife and fork.

Incidentally...I mentioned this elsewhere a while back...did you know that many supermarkets now sell...ahem...feminine massage products that fit over one finger and are especially nubbled for maximum ohgodohgohgodness?

They're *very* discretely packaged. Anyone would think they were just fancy tampons.

I suspect men who think about it too much and haven't really learned to just relax and enjoy the effect of what they are doing...

I mean, I dont always like the *taste* but the taste isn't the point... It's what you're sharing/inciting etc that's the point!

CHarlotte Rampling said her perfect man was a Frenchman with a 6inch tongue who could breathe through his ears.

Erotic literature:

http://entertainment.timesonline.co.uk/tol/arts_and_entertainment/books/article6535949.ece


"...the new owner of the relaunched Erotic Review, Kate Copstick, is loath to allow too many female authors to slip between her covers.

In the press last weekend and on the BBC Radio 4 Today programme with me this week she stated that women seldom write well about sex because females “have an agenda, they complicate sex, they make layers, it’s conditional. And they lie as well.”


Discuss: personal I just like looking at the pictures...though I wear eye protection if it's a pop-up book.

And Ed, yes I did... You can buy all sorts now, I suggest a large chemist for the full (or nearly full) range from a well-known condom manufacturer. Gels with various effects, vibrating eggs with little rubber rings and fingertip bits for them to be inserted in...

It's all there for the taking (well, buying). I think they do a 'massager' as well, a proper vibrator.

What's that Durex 'O' gel meant do do? Is it just one of yer warming/ minty tingling gloops that seem to burn a lot of women? Or does it do something more hi-tech altogether?

For the more frugal boyfriend/husband the external 'stimulators' are a good cheap option rather than the insertion type (oh, how British we are being not using the proper words...though it save us from being modded!). It would seem women like external stimulation to get them going and a cheap external vibrator more than does the job there I have seen(a £1 one off the 'net is a brilliant buy)...the bloke can then get in on the action with the insertion type of stimulation requirement!

Or if even £1 is too expensive...she can sit on the washing machine.

'Course there's also the issue of G-spot stimulation. The regular, straight models don't hit the spot. Neither do penises...unless they're unusually deformed.

Fingers work, of course.

Despite their shape and it's obvious suggestion, as often as not they aren't used exclusively internally. Well... That's what I've heard of course. I wouldn't partake in such debaucheries.

There was an interesting article about female ejaculation in New Scientist a couple of months back.

Typically, scientists refused for years to believe that it was real - they said it was peeing - but one guy staged a demonstration. With the help of a volunteer.

Edward the Bonobo


It's difficult to get a washing machine up a flight of stairs to the bedroom at 11 o'clock at night when she's got an itch to scratch and can't be bothered getting out of bed!

Slipped disc or spend a quid...

<>

As a man who really enjoys doing it I wonder that too... why not like something which gives a woman so much pleasure?

>>Despite their shape and it's obvious suggestion, as often as not they aren't used exclusively internally.

What I'm told is that some women like a bit of vibration going on inside while something else vibrates the outside. That's why the type is a bestseller.

And I'm told that men can use toys internally also.

It's difficult to get a washing machine up a flight of stairs to the bedroom at 11 o'clock at night when she's got an itch to scratch and can't be bothered getting out of bed!

*looks guiltily at his large box full of ... toys* There are all sizes and shapes and levels of elaboration out there.... some are definately pretty... ungood but some are really extremely good Or so I've been told anyhow
So, can't we say dildo, vibrator or such like?
The most impressive .... I saw was owned by a 'lady friend', of mine... it was... quite substantial, no electrics/vibrating to it, but ... pretty substantial looking (brought tears to my eyes just thinking about... it...)
Mind even with all the commercially availible products there is still a fair bit to be said for ... imagineative use of more ... everyday items.... A good leather belt can work just as well as an expensive item one can buy from certain online retail outlets if happens to be the order o the day... well.. you know.. I've heard 'some people', like that sort of thing
Mind, it is perhaps time to worry a bit when its almost entirely impossible to look at any object without random unconccious consideration of its 'potential' err so my friend told me anyhow

I've never gotten the dislike some people seem to have for 'oral' or wahtever nature... I mean... come on its all natural ... and low calory I think breathing out of my eares is the one trick I'd love to learn