h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Ummm....errr.. Okay.. that explains why hubby has a draw full of selotape and keeps offering to look after VV's hamsters!

There's also one involving a mouse and a bit of string

Puuuullllleeeeaaaaze don't go there!!!

Hiya SWL, I have been ordered to come & talk to you. I think i have overtaxed Lil's braincell 'cos i am insisting she starts a campaign to Free My Bag, which has been kidnapped by a despotic viking.

I dread to think what sort of perversions could involve a large black travel bag with two innocent tiny wheels, but the bind is moggling.I rescued the poor thing from beside an urban dustbin & it contained gay porn. I have cleared this dreadful filth out of its bowels, applied psychotherapy, talked to it in a calm & soothing voice & never attempted to insert anything into it.

It was responding well & had stopped trembling. It was definitely on the road to recovery. but then i made a fatal errror & allowed it to be removed to a psychiatric unit. It was declared unstable, but non violent & not a threat to society after 3 weeks & released into Community Care.

However, it is now being held hostage. The awful possibility exists that Damp Sweaty Objects have been placed inside it, for all we know, they may still be there. Stains & even Mould may loom upon the horizon. I live in dread that a severed handle may arrive in , as to the possibilities of torture of The Zip, well, i feel quite faint.

Fiends, Womans, Can't Try Men; lend me your Beers. Together we can beat this evil.

Free The Bag!!!

zdt

I think I just stepped into an alternate reality.

You get used it after a while

I've been there for ages its nice and cozy honest ,

I shun reality and all its so called conterparts and alternatives.

Hiya SWL, I have been ordered to come & talk to you. I think i have overtaxed Lil's braincell 'cos i am insisting she starts a campaign to Free My Bag, which has been kidnapped by a despotic viking.

Firstly, let me reassure you that there is no cause for alarm. I'm quite sure we can locate your bag and arrange for it to be returned to you unharmed. Now, did you get a good look at the viking in question? any distinguishing marks or unusual facial features? Can you describe what he was wearing? did he have an accent?

scots accent I'll bet!

I can probably describe every square inch of said viking, from individual hairs to spots & moles. In general, it is around 6ft 2" tall, extremely long blondish hair (ie down to bum)huge green eyes with giraffe length dark eyelashes & a nose which Enid Blyton would describe as a "snub nose" ie, it's really a bit too small for the rest of his face.

Body colour is brownish, but still red in places, apart from the pantie area, which is distinctly white.

It has a definite French accent, but can fool unwary frogs by uttering phrases such as "Shut le window avant tu ouvrir le door OK? M*rde s*it botox, il fait hot"

Last seen wearing a skirt of mine. Be afraid, be very afraid.....

BEG, can you pass the message to Not Him that i have temporarily blocked him from my MSN 'cos of the virus thing, Lil seems to know how to sort it out if he contacts her.

zdt

Shall do, but I think he's got it sorted now Terri.

I got it sorted.

Phew!!! i shall unblock you next time i go on MSN, it just seemed the safest thing to do at the time.

zdt

This post has been removed.

As much as I keep trying to keep out of the thread

Terri keeps draggin me back!!

What's "tea bagging"

Where did all the willies go?

Anyway IMO uncirc'd is OK, but otherwise they look like something out of a nightmare. My dog keeps sticking his out and I blush to say what it makes me think of.

A lipstick ?

What *is* teabagging? Do I want to know?