h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

I blame 2legs that I can picture Mala (and ) all kitted out and charging

I blame 2legs for not being in the Lair cuddling Furthermore I blame him for malfunctioning printers and hunger.

I blame 2legs for my not being in the Lair to perform and cooking dutys and towel-folding dutys

I also blame 2legs for the packaging on my new foot-file which arrived, and the temptation for me to sit here, and try and open it with my hands, even though I know this ultimately results in sore, or cut fingers.... why won't 2legs let me get up to find the box-knife and cut the pack open

I blame 2legs that I've already got a practice lance for starting the education of my charger...

can I come and do reinactments with you? ON a horse? with a lance? suits of armour? a broadsword? Please! I'll be safe... hoenst....

I blame 2legs for procrastinations that prevent me from reading, and for flooding on teh coast, near my Dad's

I thought you'd be my 2legs in distress!

Oh! OH! even better! I could be the one your rescueing on your horse!
I'm good at Swooning....
Mind... I might have lost weight, but not sure how easily you could swing me up onto the back of the horse!

I blame 2legs for my destined screen-career as a 'damsil in distress', being so* sluggiish to take off

I also blame 2legs for my starting to read this book, so late at night, and now not really* being able to concentrate properly

I blame 2legs for congested nose, hunger and my need to take a 20 min ride just to pick up letter which apparently was to large for my mailbox.

Furthermore I blame him for the mental image of Mala in knight's gear trying to rescue 2legs in distress but being too weak to lift him up to

She may be stronger, or I may be more easily liftible, than I believe!

I blame 2legs for my inability to be able to give DQ a foot-pedicur due to distance and for my being so* good today, in making bread, but not yet eating any of it

I also blame 2legs for the vast amount of sausage pierogi and cheese, and things I'll have for dinner after I shower.

I also blame 2legs for the 'Gentleman visitor' I had today

I blame 2legs for how soothing it is to listen to the howling wind outside.

No wind otterside here... Just the plaintive calls of the distance swamp creatures, frolocking in the midsts of teh wild lamposts and petunas on the marsh

I blame 2legs for the hyper-erotically-charged-buttocks, unpredicted consequenc of my new jeans

I also blame 2legs for my having butter, and no butter.

But, most of all I l blame 2legs for my reciving the news I've got to pay out between £6K and £7K to have the roof on my house replaced

Don't bother! £200 would get you a really good tent instead, and you'd have six and a half grand left to spend on hyper-transgressional-buttock-jeans or bondage lemurs.

ahh. but I don't have a choice; I own the house, but its leasehold, so the freeholder (the council in my case), say I've gotta pay... I gotta pay (unless I can find out otterwise, after contacting my solicitor)

But. I'm zen.
I'm so* zen. its only £6K+ afterall.
and, by what I've seen of neighbouring propertys sold, and house prices in this area, I've made roughly £170000 in profet since I gbought the place in 1999... true, take off of that what I've psent on the place, hmmm.... maybe t twenty grand, plus this big bill, plus other sundrys like the origional stamp duty I paid, and solicitor, then selling fees etc., if I do* sell... taht's still an insane rate of return

Its only money... Meaningless meaingless money... Money's so* unimportant... love, friends and family is all that's really important... hmm. and butter... of course

I blame 2legs for a bacon obsession turning into a butter obsession, or something and for the otters

I blame 2legs for cold weather and cold feet. I also blame him for the lack of blueberry jam in the Lair, making me have to take raspberry jam with my oatmeal porridge.

I blame 2legs for his not being there, to warm your feet up...
I also blame 2legs for the amazing powers of my new jeans in transforming the eroginous status of my buttocks and for 'wall sex'

I blame 2legs for still congested nose and and my obvious inability to stay home in bed getting better. Too much to do at w*rk...

I blame 2legs that I'm hanging around on the internet when there's a small cute horse waiting for me to take him out...

awww... cute

and for DQ I should be there... too....... entertain you... and pamper you.... and....

I blame 2legs for lay ins late lunches, and the general tiredness this weather seems to instill in me and for my messing about on the internet, rahter than doing some maintaininace work on teh computer, reading, or tidying up the house

I blame 2legs for my inability to hang around internet, and instead having to do various boring chores at w*rk.

He is also to blame for my cold and thus my inability to participate in my aqua aerobics class later this evening.

I might unblame 2legs if he was here to pamper me

I blame 2legs for my not being there to be able to pamper you.... 'help' you have a loverly hot bath, wash your hair for you... 'help' dry you off, and then massage you... and a pedicur...

I blame 2legs for my getting distracted by 'things' today