h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

>>> I blame 2legs that I have to change from jeans and a t-shirt to a pretty skirt and top

Have to or want to?

Want* too, of course! Which reminds me, this formular for working out bra size is too complicated for me to understand

I blame 2legs for the curtain rail in my bedroom, being attached to the wooden bit of the window frame, and for my realising, as I removed it, that I have no idea how I can attach a curtain rail up when the new window goes in, as there isn't any 'wall' to one side of the window, and as far as I can tell, no real* wall above I therefore blame 2legs for my apparently having to become a thing for people to look at through my window as I... do things in my bedroom I therefore blame 2legs in advance, for my iminant arrest for public indecency

I also blame 2legs for my lodger, leaving it until now, minutes before window fitters arrive, to move his junk from in fonrt of the window in the front room which they also plan to remove and fit a new window in, today

Also, I blame 2legs for my not knowing at what temp to wash these curtains from my bedroom which are.... very dust and dirty

Have William do measure you, because measurements work better if your arms are in a neutral position, and not fiddling with a measuring tape.

So you want to measure right across where your nipples are for one measurement. The second measurement is around the ribcage, just below your pectoral muscles.

The second measure gives you the band size. The difference between the two measurements will determine your cup size.

I blame you entirely if I get yikesed.

I blame 2legs that I'm not already in bed. G'night.

I blame 2legs for my inability to understand time differences, as a consequence of my keeping funny times, and other people on Hootoo also keeping funny times.... sleep well

I blame 2legs for the banging in my bedroom...... not being of the 'normal' type...

therefore, I blame 2legs for, men at work... blimey.... that was a big bang...

I blame 2legs for all sorts of funny things I keep besides times..

I blame 2legs for the fact that I had to get up at 5.00 this morning, drive down to Belfast, pick up a coachload of tourists, take them to 500m from my house, and then will have to go back down to Belfast with them, pick up my car, and come back up here

I blame 2legs for the temperature being a measly 14C at three o'clock in the afternoon and grey and rainy. This is August 2legs!

I blame 2legs for the fact that I have to eat tapas with Malabarista (coincidentally, at a place called 2Taps)later on before she drives home!

There is a place called 2taps!!!
Can we have a h2g2 meet there, please please please, with me, naturally

I blame 2legs for my sense of inpending doom, over the size which my curtains will be, after they've been washed and dried...

You actually was curtains? I blame 2legs for abject laziness in that area. But are you saying you're washing clean new ones? Okay to make them drape, yes?

Nope... they're not new curtains, they are the ones which have been hanging up about ten years since I moved in... Just had the windows replaced with shiney new ones, so noticed how filthy and covered with dust the curtains were... Not sure they'll survive the wash (they were very cheap), so may be getting new ones anyhow, but couldn't put them back up that* dirty; asides anythign they'd cover the freshly swept and mopped bedroom floor with more dirt and dust than the window fitters created in removing the fifty year old windows earlier
I blame 2legs for my only just* starting makeing pittabread... oh well, I still can't shower until I've got the curtains back up in teh bedroom need to ensure the curtain rail fixtures are allighed properly and tight, then try put the curtains up, and when/if they've shrunk hmmm... they do look a little smaller has anyone written a guide entry on the joy of curtains? I can't work up any great entheuiasm for trying to find curtains the right size for this big bedroom window

I blame 2legs for my mopping my bedroom, and as an after-throught mopping the spare room, top landing, bathroom and staircase I also blame 2legs for my not having gone out to purchase two flakes yet, so I can have a icecream tonight with flakes in

I also blame 2legs for there being no sun coming into the kitchen, for with which to facilitate the rise of the balls of dough which will, hopefully, form about 8 pitta/flat breads in a little while
I blame 2legs for leftover vegetable dharl

This is the 2taps minimeet reporting: we collectively blame 2legs for too many glasses, fuzzy maps, two portions of asparaguseses, and not being able to form the plural of "asparagus" properly.

KB blames 2legs for 2taps having a cylindrical feather boa on the wall!

Bea blames 2legs for the deliciousness of extra large caperberries.

Mala blames 2legs for computer hijackers!

I blame 2legs for the fabulusness of vegetable Dharl, with mushroom and chilli pepper and pepper tarka with cumin garum, tumeric, ajwain, served with hot out of the oven pitta breads containing much fresh herbyness

I also blame 2legs for the likelyhood of my just living off dharl for the rest of the winter, and, for that matter, that winter seems to have arrived already

I blame 2legs for the shrinkage on the curtains being negledgable, but one now being an inch or so more shorter than the other but, both being clean I blame 2legs for the lateness of my making pitta, making and eating dinner, and for my missing the chance to go buy choc flakes to go with icecream I also blame 2legs for the realisation I can put the hazlenuts and some crushed up choc digestives, and some grated dark cooking choclate, onto the icecream instead
I also also, blame 2legs that I've not gotten a shower yet

I blame 2legs for it being that time of the year when house spiders appear in the house.

One just ran across the living room..well not ran..sort made its way fairly slowly along the skirting board.

I said to myself..this year I am *not* going to squash them..it was quite cute..but still the terrible idea it might get into my bedroom and then my bed later on.

Keep it as your personal bugkiller. It will eat a lot of creepier crawlies that demand asylum.

I wouldn't scream about them so much in my bed though. That did actually happen once. An absolutely huge one under the duvet..I got quite hysterical. Its still post traumatic disorder

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Camff0FRRXw

I don't like spiders in the house, once they get over a certain size, but I just put a glass over them, slide a postcard under, and carry them outside where they belong.