h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

396 has gone too.

I am leaving.

Ben

I do hope by that you mean you are leaving to go to bed because it is now gone two-thirty in the morning, and will be getting up tomorrow ready and refreshed to take on the moderation machinations of the site.

For the most part today was a waste of server time. Kaz at the start of the day asked a couple of fair questions, Z brought safer sex into the thread. A link was made that could have been a good talking point and some truths exposed.

Instead the day was wasted with going round in circles about what? People that agree, people that can't read two lines of a post. Electing to go on the attack of what they themself already think.

Kaz was left to form her own opinion, as there is I for one I would not want to label her full stop as one thing or another. If anybody has taken the time as I did yesterday to visit Kaz personal space it will lead you to A817300 It has a good deal of humor for such a subject. I'll even admit to seeing *that partiular episode* of Sex in the City and I'm not going to give anything more away, but it's worth a little time to learn; about a health problem and a possible defect in the heath care system.

This brings me back to Z. I also had a glance a the personal space of Z and knew before today about what Z is doing at this time.

An opputunity missed, today. So after a day of wasted time, would there be any puposre in making false about who said what, followed by a claim of generalisation being made, also unfair to make statements for others surley. Well that did happen and rather than another pissing contest would it not be better a couple of post go and it left behind, forgotten about.

There are enough emotive things about this thread without offensive outburst based on remarks that just never happened, so let's accept the missing post and move on please.

Good morning folks. Im back at work and online again. Its taken me quite a while to read the backlog, so much has been said, I can't believe the number of posts. Several people have expressed the thought that I am winding you all up again. Sorry folks but not this time. Its all the truth I kid You not and I still need all the advice I can get. Bilbobilbo.

poo, now I feel an idiot.

Due to past events I am too quick to react and to quick to anger. Thanks Jab for your very kind posting, and yes I certainly realise I wasn't being called anything.

I cannot blame anyone but the person who did this to me, and in my anger I know I can come across as though I am blaming everyone.

Its been a long time since it happened, and yet I still have so much to deal with. Shocking people with what happened doesn't help me, in fact it could hurt me. I need to learn this and I am sorry that you all get to suffer the fall-out as I try to learn it.

As for my past and my previous sexual affairs, there could well be a connection. Maybe because my first sexual relationship was forbidden, all relationships after that felt unforbidden. (In degrees it is worse morally to have a sexual relationship with your father then with a married man - not your father). So all moral doors had been opened to me. Moonglum my husband knew my past quite quickly, its not like I am good at keeping it a secret! So when I had affairs I think he realised that it was symptomatic of fear or needing to be in control or something like that. After some years I stopped and now I am faithful and happy to be so.

I do not regret being unfaithful, it was something I had to do, a phase. My story of infidelity is difficult to compare to others because of the incest, it taints everything.

So my past of abuse and sexual freedom could all be related. I do still believe that you have to be faithful to yourself first and foremost, and that sexual infidelity is not such a big deal, emotional infidelity is though. I would be cool with my husband having sex with another person, but I must confess I am reassured that he does not.

I am still very sexually permissive, in thought if not deed anymore, and anyone would be right to wonder whether that is solely because of my past history. We'll never know.

Bilbo, do what you have to do, but be honest with yourself. Have an affair if you feel you need to, but always be aware of the damage it could cause, that you may lose your wife over it. None of us are perfect, I could never condemn a last fling like yours. Good luck at trying to have your cake and eat it!!

Oh and I don't mean to put anyone off, I don't need sympathy, and you don't need to answer the above at all. Afterall what answer or anything can make incest better?! The most I can ask is can you forgive my outbursts and treat me with more patience than I deserve? I know this isn't an easy subject and sorry to Bilbo for hijacking his thread with such a difficult subject.

Well that was nice to come to work to today.

Are we not allowed weekends any more?

Quote - I still need all the advice I can get. Bilbobilbo

After all the advice you have been given on here, and you still need more? Dont think so. You know exactly what you want to do, so go ahead and give in to the Dark Side. All humans have it, they want sexual freedom but the majority maquarade (or pretend to) behind the thin society imposed veneer of "Morals"

If you want to do it, then do so - you do not need anyone here to give permission. As long as you keep the whole thing in perspective and your head can deal with it, then come and join the club.

I have no more advice for you, Bb, other than what I have already said.

Kaz, every time I read your posts I am thankful for the upbringing I had and the devoted loving parents I still have, and I want to take a big pair of blunt shears to your father!

I apologize for that remark, any s watching.

But that's how I feel.

Jim, you just had a weekend off? *tries to think of the last weekend she had off*

It was a year last March



Now then, I'll just go look for Ben

GB if it helps I love my dad to bits now, we are geting closer and bonding as never before. He was an orphan and abused in a childrens home. It doesn't exuse him, but it helped me come to terms with it. I still hate and have trouble dealing with what happened, but my dad is great now, hes finally a father at last! He finally cares as a father should, I feel I am so lucky to have this before it was too late!

Your ability to open your heart after such abuse astonishes me, Kaz.
I don't know if I could be so forgiving.
It's an honour to know you.

There's an old saying, what doesn't kill you makes you stronger, in your case it's true.

Sometimes i feel so lucky! I never could have learnt such a lesson without such a painful past. I hardly recommend being abused, but it is lovely to truely know forgiveness and what it feels like.

Maybe thats why I rarely condemn anyone, and feel the need to stick up for everyone, to the point where I really can be quite a pain!

I am still a mess in a lot of ways, but I feel blessed in others. I am so glad that people here can forgive me my inappropriate rants, because my rants and then my self-examination have taught me a lot. Thanks guys!

So how is Bilbo, I know I may have put him off with all this serious talk, but please come back and tell us how your life is Bilbo!

Reply to post 405 and 406.

Thank you Kaz for your kind words in the above post and in reply via external e-mail yesteday.

Hi Jab, hows things?

I am feeling calm and today, so there should be no ranting!

Kaz all good, well there maybe some *rabbiting* going on... if BB has his way.

The question is will BB come back to say? Or has he been scared off now?

With Bilboilbo working in a Mortuary I doubt he scares *that* easy...

I reckon if you can see a dead body sit-up and groan and don't get phased, your made of sterner stuff.

eek, can't argue with that one!

I'm off to cook dinner now *guess meat is of the menu tonight* oh no, no, no...

hi bilbo--- dont do it ever i am the product of the very deed you are contemplating damaged goods of a 28 year marriage puctuated by these gross indecencys to me and our family dont wreck your marraige your wife and family .Its armageddon and ever present in the future in your brain cells and your wifes if she finds out. total destruction
if your a bastard go for it and live with the above for ever on your conscience if you are a nice man really then you wont. your choice
my advice .