h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

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for GB. Just because.

>> By the way, do you really think they "get their act together" because they don't want a second divorce??

Now you put it that way - yes, I guess I do.


>> >> "I have concluded that it took a shock to his system as big as our divorce to get him to make those changes"

>> I will remember those words until I die, thank you

If this thread does no other good in this world, it is worth it for that alone.


>> Many, even most, people who have an STI caught it from a partner who they thought weren't a risk to them,

You mean you don't get them from toilet seats?


>> Why should I respect a marriage where one person cheats without being honest about it? Whats to respect about a promise made on paper, which wasn't strong enough to withstand me?

The marriage may or may not be worth respecting, but the wife's emotions are. 'Do what you will but do no harm'. I am not willing to cause pain to another woman which is why, when I have had affairs, I have been very careful.

B

>> And now [Researcher's name] calls me a bitch!

I think it was me who said that women who had affairs with no regard to the wife was a bitch, and in any case both [Researcher's name] and I were generalising.

From everything I know about you Kaz, you have always conducted your affairs with honesty and integrity.

B

No, but you can catch them from sharing dildos including with different parts of yourself, which is why using condoms is the easier way to keep them clean.

I have never had sex with a married man, but when I was sleeping around I know for a fact it wouldn't have put me off. Its just that I slept with other students and there weren't many married ones. Tell a lie, there was one, and it was only once, we didn't even talk much, we were fellow students he was bulldozed into marrying another student and regretted it and just wanted a night off. So there you go I am a selfish bitch, happy now?

What do you expect though, the first person I had a sexual relationship with was married. I was 11, he was my father. Does that still make me a selfish bitch?

See what I mean about finding the world so black and white and easy to judge others?

Kaz, please don't take offence, emotions are very heated in this thread with such a wide range of beliefs and people who think or know they are right.

You are a good person Kaz, you have overcome the most horrendous upbringing imaginable, you are the bravest person I know and one I consider a friend.

Everyone is entitled to their opinion I just wish there weren't any personal attacks.

Ben I have left you a message elsewhere.

KazI appreciate your honesty above all else.

No worries GB and Ben

I cannot remain emotionally objective about this subject and my outbursts don't help anyone. So I will stay away now.

I am staying away from more and more things in life because of this, either one day I will have the memories removed and be able to have conversations again, or become a hermit.

Kaz, hon, take a deep breath into your abdomen. Hold it. And let it out. Now another one. And another one.

No-one here is calling you a bitch.

Several people here have responded to the integrity and honesty and openness in your posts with the respect that you deserve, both as a human being and for your integrity, honesty and openness.

As I said, you have conducted yourself in ways which have shown respect for your partners. That is to be applauded, and I applaud it here and now.

The 'bitch' comment came from me, and was in response to a *hypothetical* question, which was very limited in its terms of reference.

You have shown yourself to be an adult, who takes responsibility for her life and her actions.

Hell, I am running out of words now.

Kaz, don't take the hypothetical stuff personally. Please....

B

Reply to Z:
You use condoms on a dildo?
I didn't realize a dildo could make you pregnant?!?

AGB *almost 50, and a dildo virgin*

Galaxy Babe, you know I don't take it personal, not since there are just so many people on h2g2 willing to break with net etiquette, more than any other web site I've visited since 1992.

I'll let you into a secret, I am torn between total non-use of any punctuation, avoiding capital for fear of "SHOUTING" letters i.e. "Galaxy Babe" should be "galaxy babe". Torn between using punctuation on every plural since its quicker to type, less thinking about small stuff, worry about next word and "'" is damn near automatic to add anyway. There was a time I used all lower case for my user name too. - I used to be indecisive, but now I'm not so sure!

Something that I wonder about, is I tent to use *quotes* as single, (almost as a not the case) with any punctation outside them. Yet some time it looks like people are using them as double quotes, then the punctuation would be inside the quote? It is indeed hard to tell.

Today I spotted a typographical or two after a post had been made. In this thread "labeling" when I meant to type "labelling." But what the hey today I have seen plenty of such typos by others, it being the message they promote being of importance. It's not English finals is it?

A joy is to see the most pedantic people that stress over a word, when they can not type for toffee either a few post before there onslaught.

Nah what people do on a web site is little bother. More likley to be irked in real life by people that say the word "think" as "fink" and "Thought" as "fought." Have these people really "fought a fink" or are they only "finking 'bout a fing, init."

This a personl grip most like... On h2g2 the apparent need to emphasise attendance to univerity. "Off I went to Uni..." Or "when I was at *bla bla bla* university.* in as many a thread as possible. Yet if a person has been to a shop it will remain a generic mystery. Shop? Sweet? Sex? Pet? This, to me is getting old fast. What next we add "BEng Hons" (or whatever) after our nickname? One mention on a personal space will do? It is enough to know you got home at the end of term without the advert for "bla bla bla" university of *back of beyond* oh well.

Don't see many people report on attending Oxford or Cambridge though. Maybe it is true the really smart, well bred attend *Oxbridge* and just know better how to behave.

Nah, there is nothing personal to worry about, there are often times when h2g2 can suck the fun out of a day; this day past would qualify as such.

I'll reply, just before I go to bed.

I have not attended college, and certainly not University, I went to work immediately I left school at 16.

The English I learned at school up to age 16 taught me about punctuation.

All I was saying was, your incorrect use of punctuation makes your posts very hard to read.

Surely it is easier to drop the apostrophies where they aren't needed? And much less bother for you, typing them.

Oh well, sorry I made your day an unfun one, I was trying to help!Goodnight everyone, sleep well.s

I guess a lot of us are tired and scratchy.

I wonder what is happening in bilbobilboland.

B

Well I went to a polytechnic and a university but not much to boast about there as I managed to leave both without a qualification.

I've been saying my "th"s as "f"s since childhood, nothing to do with education. Just a bad habit thats hard to get rid of since I don't realise I'm doing it most of the time.

I wonder why Kaz's posts 381 & 383 got removed?

I didn't notice they'd broken house rules, when I read them!

383 was mine, and may have been removed because it quoted Kaz's misattribution of the phrase 'is calling me a bitch' to a researcher here.

Mine did NOT contravene any house rules, I know the house rules and I have had more posts rejected and have also have tried to yikes posts which have been allowed to stand on a regular basis since we got the bloody button.

Subsequent posts made it quite clear that the researcher in question had not said that, that in fact if anyone could be thought to have said that it was me, and that in fact I did not say it either.

I have replied to the email from the BBC, and to be honest if I don't get any sense out of them tomorrow I will escalate it to Jimster, Natalie and if necessary to Peta.

I am and and all sorts of other things about this misuse of the button.

For f**k's sake grow UP people.

Ben
(still steaming....)

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Hold on Ben, if 381 was removed, then 383 would have to go too. Otherwise 383 would make it look as if the (now removed) 381 contained an untruth .

My point is that neither of them broke the house rules.

What IS going on?

B

Calm down for a moment Ben

What we know is this:
1) someone - not a member of staff and not a moderator - reading the thread has decided to push a button.
2) a moderator who sees the posts individually and without the context of the the whole thread has decided that it does break house rules.
3) you're pissed off about that
4) your reply back to the moderators *will* be seen by the italics, as all responses to moderation decisions are automatically forwarded to the staff.
5) the italics will be able to see the posts in their correct context
6) context is everything!

I know all of that, GD. I have been around here long enough to have tested the moderation system in every possible way that I could. I know the old glitches they had with ambigious auto-responses. I understand what you can and cannot say about the Italics. I know what you can and cannot say *to* the Italics. I know what you can and cannot ask to have removed on another researcher's behalf. I know what you can and cannot ask to have removed because it is about someone who is not a member of the site. I know what you can and cannot ask to have removed because you posted it yourself. I know what you can and cannot ask to have removed because it is about you.

I have the emails in my inbox which document this experience gained over three years because I have, as I have said, pushed the moderation system from every possible angle including by posting things that have been yikesed, and yikesing things that have been posted, and challenging the responses from the moderators and the Italics.

I understand the necesity for censorship, I support it on this site, and I push the boundaries habitually to check where they are, and whether they have moved.

Additionally, and more to the point in this particular instance, I also know that the mods can check context when they view a post for yikesing.

I know what the house rules are regarding what constitues yikesable content.

I know that there are a number of 'holding' messages, one of which includes the phrase 'referred to the editors because it may break the house rules in some way'.

My point is that those two posts did not break the house rules.

I *care* about the health and wellbeing of this site, and random acts of moderation are immensely damaging.

Ben