h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

In our house it is forbidden to call me late for my tea.

Your thumb in 99% of times for people is the same length as you nose

I can now see everyone checking

Yep, mine is. (You're right, I checked.)

That really depends on (i) where you measure your thumb from and to, and (ii) where you measure your nose from and to.

RF

The last song Elvis Presley sang in public was "Bridge over troubled water" at a concert in Indianapolis in June 1977.

typical. bludy typical

my thumb is longer than my nose

ffs

life can be so cruel

(for the men on this thread)
i just read somewhere that your erm.. male private part is also the same length as your nose....



..




.... .... waits while the males sneak to the loo to see if this can possibly be checked.....





....



....



is it possible that none of you thought of using ur thumb?

ok ok
it's just me.. it's the blonde hair

*Searches desperately through spam e-mail folder*

Rats, there must be some device in here which extends the length of your nose using the power of the vacuum

Well helloo Pinochio, are youu pleased to see me

According to Bertrand Russell laziness is a virtue.

Thanks Mr Russell! About time someone said so

Think of all the inovations that were brought about by laziness.

Remote controls, pull tab and twist top beer, cordless screwdrivers, velcro shoelaces, lazy susans, electic trailer jacks, cordless phones, mini cassette recorders, microwavable popcorn, instant coffee, TV trays, automatic lawn sprinklers, self starting cars, clip on ties, front snap bras!

(I could go on, but my mind got ssstuck on the bras.)

http://www.bbc.co.uk/comedy/qi/

My mind is now firmly stuck on bras..........

wooooohoooooo
the useless thread gets moderated...


any guesses as to who our rudie friend is/
i'm waaaay to lazy to troll thru this site to try to find out


it's against the law for a taxi driver to just pee indescriminatly against his car.... it is however in order for him to pee against the rear drivers wheel, provided it is aganst the kerb..

allegedly..

not sure if that is allowed if he's carryiing passengers at the time

wooooohoooooo
the useless thread gets moderated...


any guesses as to who our rudie friend is/
i'm waaaay to lazy to troll thru this site to try to find out


it's against the law for a taxi driver to just pee indescriminatly against his car.... it is however in order for him to pee against the rear drivers side wheel, provided it is aganst the kerb..

allegedly..

not sure if that is allowed if he's carryiing passengers at the time

woops.. over enthusiastic...
sorry about that..

That taxi driver obviously has a weak bladder and needed two pees.

Never apologise for enthusiasm

Harp Lager has been renamed Harp Pub Draught Ale (or some such rot) in Texas because of some very inane law that determines what a beer can be called solely by alcohol content. Above 4.0% alcohol by volume and they are not allowed to be called lager or beer. Below that and they are not allowed to be called ales, stouts, bitters or malt beverages.

I can't get Younger's Special Tartan nor McEwans Export anymore.

i drink gin... it's so much easier

Placing the foot in the nest of one of the stinging Myrmicine species of ants is said to cure gout.