h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

I won't say that you were right or wrong to cut that seal, but I will say that no matter how good a legal system might ever become, it can never reach the ideal. That is, we can try really hard to catch the criminals and protect the innocents, but "proof" can sometimes be as much a hindrance as a help. I think that under the specific circumstances your action was completely justified.



If I never have to work in retail again, it will be too soon.

Poor Mudhooks . Wrong thing for right reason, so have a nice cup of tea and forget it.

I once caught a person who was leaving without paying for their tea and cake. I was so het up and flustered I burst into tears, and she thrust a fiver into my hand and fled, so I not only got the money for the food but a big tip too! I recommend crying most heartily.

I somehow, after reading the backlog, don't see Mudhooks as the type in that sort of situation.

Shoplifter bloke was clearly a wrong'un and deserved what he got.

It was certainly a great risk to take, Mudhooks, and I bet your heart was pounding in your throat. But it had the desired effect - he even admitted to having done it. Anyway, what with punching the other guy and generally wielding an open knife in a shop, not to mention running away, he was so obviously in the wrong that your little "sin" was worth it. I think you were very brave to take the risk and am delighted that, for once, justice prevailed.

<>
I feel for you, Mudhooks, my friend Anni's mother has that problem, and it's so frustrating!

I would just like to comment on, given the amount of nylon, itchy, skid-marked y-fronted pantiness we in the retail and customer service business have to put up with, the fact that there are not more people walking into MacDonalds and shooting our fellow human beings in a fit of (Justifiable)rage is truly commendable. I feel, and by all means you may feel differently, that we are the best humanity has to offer, that there should be a world day named after us, with parades, confetti, and giant balloons, in celebration of our ability to handle the worst of society, with only earning minimum age, doing a 40hr week, or trying to work whilst full time study (which increases your working week to 60hrs).

Society is truly blessed to have such indeviduals fighting on the front line of stupidity, and I who has worked in the public service business (which is basicly what we do) would like to take my time to say what an honor it has been to share in your conversations and that I appreciate your efforts and hope that only for every idiot that infiltrates society, there will be outstanding individuals such as yourselves to grace the day.

Working for the public is a thankless, thankless task and would just like to take the time to say thankyou

I thank and salute you.
CHEERS

Gawd bless you novadog, you brought a to my eye.

Well, there used to be a day dedicated to those of us who worked for a living.

It was called Labour Day.....

Now, of course, the very people it was meant to celebrate are usually the only ones who don't get the day off. Indeed, not only do we not get the day off, but we have to cater to the whims and needs of all those people who regularily get the Monday after a holiday off, and shop on Sundays because they "don't have time to shop at any other time"(read: have money to spend Friday evenings dining out and all day Saturday skiing or at the beach instead of shopping, thus forcing the people who wait on them to do so on yet another day that they would prefer spending at home with their families).

Thanks from me, too. I have learnt from this thread and am a more aware customer now, I think.

There is a great review and description of self service tills at http://www.designbyfire.com/000062.html for anyone who hasn't yet seen or used one before.

B.

*finally* got to the end of the thread!
mudhooks - i *think* i went into the chapters you used to work in the other day...in ottawa? near the rideau centre?
^. .^
= ' =

That would be the one!

Are you from the area or were (are) you just visiting? Unfortunately, it isn't the most picturesque time of year. The snow is melting, but what is left is pretty ratty looking.

Here's a couple tech goodies that landed in my inbox recently:



The tech support problem dates back to long before the industrial revolution, when cavemen would beat out a rhythm on drums to communicate:

This fire-help. Me Groog.

Me Lorto. Help. Fire not work.

You have flint and stone?

Ugh.

You hit them together?

Ugh.

What happen?

Fire not work.

(sigh) Make spark?

No spark, no fire, me confused. Fire work yesterday.

*sigh* You change rock?

I change nothing.

You sure?

Me make one change. Stone hot so me soak in stream so stone not burn Lorto hand. Small change, shouldn't keep Lorto from make fire.

(Groog grabs club and goes to Lorto's cave) *WHAM*WHAM*WHAM*



____________________

With apologies to those from other countries who might be unfamiliar with Abbot and Costello's "Who's on First?" routine:


ABBOT: Super Duper computer store. Can I help you?

COSTELLO: Thanks. I'm setting up an office in my den,
and I'm thinking about buying a computer.

ABBOT: Mac?

COSTELLO: No, the name's Lou

ABBOT: Your computer?

COSTELLO: I don't own a computer. I want to buy one.

ABBOT: Mac?

COSTELLO: I told you, my name's Lou

ABBOT: What about Windows?

COSTELLO: Why? Will it get stuffy in here?

ABBOT: Do you want a computer with Windows?

COSTELLO: I don't know. What will I see when I look in
the windows?

ABBOT: Wallpaper.

COSTELLO: Never mind the windows. I need a computer
and software.

ABBOT: Software for Windows?

COSTELLO: No. On the computer! I need something I can
use to write proposals, track expenses and run my
business. What have you got?

ABBOT: Office.

COSTELLO: Yeah, for my office. Can you recommend
anything?

ABBOT: I just did.

COSTELLO: You just did what?

ABBOT: Recommend something.

COSTELLO: You recommended something?

ABBOT: Yes.

COSTELLO: For my office?

ABBOT: Yes

COSTELLO: OK, what did you recommend for my office?

ABBOT: Office.

COSTELLO: Yes, for my office!

ABBOT: I recommend Office with Windows.

COSTELLO: I already have an office and it has windows!
OK, let's just say, I'm sitting at my computer and I
want to type a proposal. What do I need?

ABBOT: Word.

COSTELLO: What word?

ABBOT: Word in Office.

COSTELLO: The only word in office is office.

ABBOT: The Word in Office for Windows.

COSTELLO: Which word in office for windows?

ABBOT: The Word you get when you click the blue "w"

COSTELLO: I'm going to click your blue w if you don't
start with some straight answers. OK, forget that. Can
I watch movies on the Internet?

ABBOT: yes, you want Real One.

COSTELLO: Maybe a real one, maybe a cartoon. What I
watch is none of your business. Just tell me what I
need!

ABBOT: Real One.

COSTELLO: If it's a long movie I also want to see reel
2, 3, and 4. Can I watch them?

ABBOT: Of course.

COSTELLO: Great, with what?

ABBOT: Real One.

COSTELLO: OK, I'm at my computer and I want to watch a
movie. What do I do?

ABBOT: You click the blue 1.

COSTELLO: I click the blue one what?

ABBOT: The blue 1.

COSTELLO: Is that different from the blue w?

ABBOT: The blue 1 is Real One and the blue w is Word.

COSTELLO: What word?

ABBOT: The Word in Office for Windows.

COSTELLO: But there's three words in office for
windows!

ABBOT: No, just one. but it's the most popular Word in
the world.

COSTELLO: It is?

ABBOT: Yes, but to be fair, there aren't many other
words left. It pretty much wiped out all the other
words out there.

COSTELLO: And that word is real one?

ABBOT: Real One has nothing to do with Word. Real One
isn't even part of Office.

COSTELLO: Stop! Don't start that again. What about
financial bookkeeping, you have anything I can track
my money with?

ABBOT: Money.

COSTELLO: That's right. What do you have?

ABBOT: Money.

COSTELLO: I need money to track my money?

ABBOT: It comes bundled with your computer.

COSTELLO: What's bundled to my computer?

ABBOT: Money

COSTELLO: Money comes with my computer?

ABBOT: Yes. No extra charge.

COSTELLO: I get a bundle of money with my computer?
How much?

ABBOT: One copy

COSTELLO: Isn't it illegal to copy money?

ABBOT: Microsoft gave us a license to copy money.

COSTELLO: They can give you a license to copy money?

ABBOT: Why not? They own it.

Very good!

There's a grain of truth in all humour

And a grain of humor in all truth…

I had a real ARGH today.

We have dispensers for photocopier cards with 100 points on - one point per copy. The cards are magnetic, so we have signs EVERYWHERE warning people to not fold them or bend them or put them ANYWHERE NEAR credit cards, college cards, carkeys or any other device that could (and will ) accidentally wipe them. So I get this guy complaining his card no longer works. I explain all the above. He insists he has been careful. I point out we can do nothing as the cards are not ours, we just have the vending point on behalf of the company who makes them here is their tech support number. He rants crossly at me about the unfairness of it all and the puts the card IN HIS WALLET. NEXT TO TWO OTHER CARDS TUCKED INTO THE SAME SLOT AS HIS CREDIT CARD.

What a maroon....

I was thinking today, as I nearly rearended some moron in an SUV (People Carrier, I think it is in the UK) who stopped dead in the T intersection, while turning left, because she wanted to park her car on the curb (IN THE INTERSECTION!), that people who are idiots must wear signs that identify them as such. The would have to wear them on their person, have one posted on their door, and one front and back on their vehicles.

That way, anyone approaching, or being approached by, an idiot would have plenty of warning. We wouldn't have to wait until the end of the encounter to say "Jayzes, what an idiot!"

I have a theory, too, that while the full moon causes aggression in humans, the New Moon causes stupidity. If I notice an unusual number of really, really stupid manouevers by drivers on the road, the Moon will invariably be in the New Moon or Waxing Crescent phases.

Someone already suggested that "stupid" sign. In this thread I think, I'll have a look....

Aaah. - it was you, Mudhooks. Post 776.

Now that theory about the new moon making you stupid. We should perhaps collectively investigate that one.