h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

You would be proud of me! I was such a good customer yesterday. I went to the shoe shop to get new cross-trainers. There was only one sales assistant on when I went in. Before she finished serving her customer another sales assistant arrived and started to serve me. She also started to help another customer to try to fast-track both of us if possible. While she was off getting our shoes I asked the other customer if she was in a hurry to get back to work. She said she was so I told the assistant to help her first because my only other concern for the afternoon was lunch. I had to wait a little while but I got great service. 7 or 8 pairs of shoes and about 45 minutes later we found the most comfortable shoes I have ever owned.

It feels good to be a good customer. My feet appreciate it too!

(bookmark)

Using your thumb as a bookmark? That could be messy...

(bookmark)

Any time you're in Austin you can come and buy cd's from me Ythika Hell, I'd almost pay customers like that to come into the store

In a former life I was the manager for 3 retail concession stores in major department stores in London. We sold "electronic media" which means music and videos, with a few games thrown in for good measure.

Most of my horror stories are about the staff, not the customers...I had one guy who chose to play The Offspring - Smash album at full volume during my lunch break, in the flagship store, on Oxford Street, about 30 yards from the Managment Office.

Anyway, what most frustrated me with customers was when they would try to obtain refunds for stuff I knew they had not purchased from my concession.

One rainy Thursday afternoon, a rather scruffy looking gentleman, with a number of personal hygine problems and the worlds most trendy, and therefore ugliest haircut, comes into the store and starts DEMANDING his money back for a couple of videos and a PS1 game. My staff member quite politely asks for the reciept and this guy blows a fuse. General shouting & screaming ensue along with wailing and a knashing of teeth.

I pull myself away from urgent work in the stockroom (end of the chapter, The Hogfather) and stroll over to find out what the problem is...

..and the problem is, that with one look at the goods in question I know they are not from my store. Not even from one of our other stores, and in one case, not even from this country!

I ply on the charm and keep my voice nice and even (only as this seems to infuriate him even more) as I explain that a) he has no reciept, so there is no refund, b) he would not have the right to a refund anyway, even if he had the reciept, as Watchdog (consumer rights program on BBC) was full of....mis-information and refunds were at the store's discression and c) I knew my stock profile backwards, this stuff was not on it and, just to highlight this, we had never sold that paticular PS1 game..not even the English version let alone the JAPANESE one he was trying to hawk of on us.

So, full blown hysterical fit errupts. I actually thught I was going to have to call security to throw this dude out. Eventually he storms off and I think that is the end of the matter.

But wait, what is this I see before me? None other than Senor Psycho returning with the costomer service manager for the whole store, who then... FORCES ME TO APOLOGISE AND REFUND THIS GOIT'S MONEY!!!!!!!!!

To say that I was less than pleased would be an understatement. At the end of the day, that was the worst thing about retail. No matter how much of an arse the customer is, no matter how fraudulent his demands might be, ther is always some gimboyd higher up the pay scale who will sell you out to avoid "bad customer relations".

Damn them all to a firey hell of constant stocktakes and pay reviews!

de Carabas.

A pox on all managers who fail to back an employee up when they have made a reasoned decision! No that guy thinks that he has the right to abuse you, and that abuse will get him what he wants.

I heard a terrific saying on the NYC subway (I think I may have mentioned the guy who was "gonna cut" me with a tiny penknife). The passenger who came to my aid said to the man who was threatening me.... "Just because your sh*t shines, doesn't mean it's made of gold!"

Ythika...

You are a dream customer! If only those people who think they get more flies with vinegar than with honey would take a page from your book...

I know what it's like to be on the service side of the counter so of course I'm going to be nice. I have been pretty lucky and seen far more of the loopy customers than the irate ones.

I tried to soothe an irate patient at the doctor's office the other day. They were very busy, and running very behind, and he was ranting at the poor woman at the desk that takes care of the paperwork after your appointment. I've dealt with her before, and she's a lovely and funny person, and it certainly wasn't her fault that we all had to sit for an hour in the waiting room. Besides, he was making me even later by his yelling, so I tried to shut him up. *sigh* Jerks ...

de Carabas, you have my utmost sympathy and understanding

What on earth was your muppet of a manager doing fer cryin' out loud? What was going through his head? what was he thinking? If you had plainly pointed out to the customer that your store had never even stocked this product, what was he doing making you refund the money?

It's a damn shame that so many of us are either too fond of, or too tied to, or have too many commitments depending on, our job. I reckon that if we could easily move to another job, a lot of managers like yours on that day would not find their own job so easy because of the likes of you and me telling them where to shove it, and then walking off into the sunset. A few of them might not find it too easy to chew their steak with missing teeth either

That must have been an old-school customer is always right even when they're completly wrong kind of manager.

I worked at one time for a store that was like that - they'd take back worn out items that they'd never stocked, simply because the customer claimed they bought the item there.

Wonder why they went out of business?

I have a bit of an admission to make.

A couple of years ago, I had bought a very large jug of "No Name" brand vinegar. About a week later, I discovered that it had mold floating in it . So I trundled off down to the local grocery store where I shop to return it. We have two major grocery chains here in Ottawa -Loblaws and Loeb. The local store was a Loeb store.

I explained my problem with the vinegar and produced to container. The duty manager said "Well, I would be more than happy to accept it back, but it isn't from our store!"

I was mystified.... I rarely shop at the other chain and there isn't one in that neighbourhood. I certainly didn't recall shopping at a Loblaws store in recent weeks. I doubted I would have bought anything but something edible in an emergency, certainly wouldn't have gone all the way to a store so far away to buy vinegar!. I was absolutely adamant that I had bought it at my local store.

After some arguing back and forth (polite... this was my local store, after all, my family has shopped there for nearly 25 years, and I was sure it was a minor error on their part, and it was only worth about $2), the manager agreed to take it back "as a good will gesture...." and I was given a new container in exchange.

Imagine my chagrin when, just a few days later, when I was sitting on the bus, I passed the nearest Loblaws and clear as anything remembered buying several household cleaning products, including a large container of "No-Name" brand vinegar there just the week before....

I wish I could tell you that I owned up to it at the Loeb store.... I was too embarassed.

Re. the managers..

I had a kid wanting to return some coloured hairspray he'd bought before. We don't take back hairspray (as most places), so I said no. Then his mum comes in, shouting at me that I have to take it back yadda yadda, I stayed calm and polite and said to her that raising her voice at me won't changed the situation. She calmed down and said that he'd stupidly spent his fairground money on this hairspray, so could I take it back so he had some spending money, so I did in the end, he'd only got it an hour ago and it was obviously still full. The kid was happy, the mum was happy, thanked me profusely and left. I explained to my 'dead set against refunds' boss the situation and he was okay with it, so everything was fine.

The next evening, my boss comes in to lock up, and tells me that this woman had phoned him up to complain about me! She'd left happy, got her way, but phoned up to complain! Funny thing was though, me boss told her that I shouldn't have refunded it at all, and he'd even be having words with me about it! She didn't like that *snigger*

*scrap of paper with an anazing amount of coffee stains for such a small scrap*

Somebody should have smacked that hairspray lady.

We used to have a lot of drunks in the store. Several times we had to call the paramedics when they were so completely plastered that they were unresponsive. On many ocassions the minute the police and paramedics arrived they would suddenly revive and jump to their feet and leave (or attempt to jump to their feet).

The new twist on the usual drunk is the guy (tho there is a proportion of female drunks) who drink mouthwash (product of choice seems to be Listerine).

I don't know if anyone else has seen what happens when someone drinks Listerine but it is very weird.

Several gave me ample opportunity when they downed the 1.5 litre bottle in one of the corners of the store (if they weren't noticed and turfed in time). For some reason, the alcohol seems to affect the body but not the brain. Within minutes of finishing the bottle, the drinker would be alert, but completely immobile. The first one I encountered was laughing and joking with the police in a clear voice, but so little control over his limbs that the police who came had to wheel him out of the department and down the freight elevator on a flatbed trolley.

Just to give you an idea why Listerine is a popular intoxicant for the street alcoholics, the alcohol in a few porducts:

Listerine Antiseptic: mouthwash/gargle alcohol content: 26.9%

CONTAC Nighttime: antihistamine, analgesic, cough suppressant, decongestant: 25%

Compare those with Mike's Hard Liquor at 5.2%, wine at 4-12%

... and remember that mouthwash is only a few dollars compared to the price of liquor or beer, and usually stolen from drugstores.

Teens are also drinking mouthwash, which is something parents should be aware of.

For further info on alcoholic content in common medicinal preparations see: http://www.addictionend.com/bookonline/34.htm

The long-term effects of drinking mouthwash... http://www.whdh.com/news/articles_p/local/A7442/ )

Here is a little treat for the habitiual user of Listerine (for the purpose intended) "An aside note: For gargling with Listerine or other mouthwashes, studies report that you should check the alcohol content. DAILY usage of high-alcohol content in gargles -only those with over 25%- have been associated with an increase risk in throat and mouth cancers. The solution? Rotate the different flavors to avoid the Daily Usage risk" ... or possibly NOT using it??????

Going slightly off-topic...

There are some alcohol-free mouthwashes on the market now. Oral B, Dentyl pH, Boots and Retardex - to name a few.
Dental health professionals are now recommending that the alcohol-free variety be used if a daily mouthwash is wanted. The alcohol containing sort are fine for occasional use.

Ps - have just come here from having a rant on 'Weirdest Customers' about THAT mouthwash advert!

Going slightly off-topic...

There are some alcohol-free mouthwashes on the market now. Oral B, Dentyl pH, Boots and Retardex - to name a few.
A lot of dental health professionals are now recommending that the alcohol-free variety be used if a daily mouthwash is wanted. The alcohol containing sort seem fine for occasional use.

Ps - have just come here from having a rant on 'Weirdest Customers' about THAT mouthwash advert!