h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Trees were mentioned earlier in the thread. One post said they turned into lions, another said they were protectors, if I remember correctly.

I, too, thought trees came alive. Unfortunately, the trees outside MY window were dangerous and would kill me if they ever managed to reach in through the window screen...

Oddly enough, I went on to take quite a number of forestry classes, and became a park ranger in the end. Go figure!

I always believed that in order to have a single released into the charts, artists had to perform the song in front of the Queen, one day I saw a picture of her looking quite grumpy.
At the same time Fergal Sharky had released the song 'A good heart', in the video one of his female backing singers was wearing a leather boob tube. I reasoned she had sung in front of the Queen in this revealing outfit, offended her maj. and that was why she was so grumpy that day.

With both eyes open hold the palms of your hands about six inches away from your face, focus on an object beyond them. You can see through bits of your hands can't you ? Exactly !, I had the gift of X-Ray eyes, and kept that a secret.

My friend claimed his mother was a witch, and due to this he could tell the time, just be looking at the suns position. Fair enough, so at school one afternoon I asked him to prove it.

'It's about 7:30'

We finished school at half three back then.

S

A wicked uncle told me that people from Camp Hill (council estate) eat their children.

A kid in Infant school convinced the entire class he was a robot. The next day, he told me he thought he was Jesus. I was a bit more suspicious about that one.

Was his name David by any chance?

Camp Hill? are you from Birmingham by any chance?

not quite- N*ne*t*n.

A boy at school (5yo) told us all that he ate plastic wrap. I was very concerned about it and when he didn't turn up for 1st grade I thought he must have died from eating plastic.

Bit of an odd one this, when I was a small child we had a cat, and when it fell ill, as my dad was unemployed, we took it to the PDSA. (For those of you that aren't from the uk this is an organisation that provides vetinary care for pets of people who can't afford vets), except they were too embarrassed to tell us, so they explained it by saying that animals were covered on the NHS as well. I was at least 8 before I found out otherwise.

i wouldnt mind taking my pet to a free place, even know, cause i wouldnt want my pet to die

Well obviously but this is middle class unemployment, I always took sandwiches to school even though I was entitled to free meals, because they were too embarassed to tell the school..

I thought that when I heard songs going round in my head, there was a little elf-life creature up in there changing the records.

i thought something amazing happened at new years eve, so my parents woke me up at midnight and i was quite disapointed

I thought my older sister Helen was God when I was young. I always felt a fool until I found an Everything But the Girl song that began'When I was ten,I thought my brother was God he'd lie in bed,turn out the light with a fishing rod.' My sister could make electic sparks come out of her nightie and used to make green flashes if you turned the lights off.Of course it was nylon...

My mum used to tell us that if we picked our noses our heads would cave in...

Every time we went to the beach, my uncle warned us to make sure not to let all the water out of the sea. He didn't actually say how we could do this, so we had to create a theory of our own.
My sisters and I believed the yellow buoys lying on the beach were connected to a cork, stuck in the bottom of the sea. If we touched one of them, all the water would run into the core of the earth and that would be the end of the seas.

What is it with the toilet flushing?
I used to have to make sure that I was out of the bathroom and down the stairs before it stopped flushing.

I had a that had legs instead of a tail that lived in the wardrobe at the bottom of my bed, and would terrorise my dreams. I had to open the door and look inside every night before I went to sleep in the vain hope of catching the b*gger out.

I also had to sleep with all my limbs under the bedlothes, as they were invincible protection from the forces of darkness. I used to think that a big guillotine thing would come down and chop off any offending bits of flesh sticking out. Oddly enough, this didn't extend to my head which was safe.

Apropos of absolutely nothing does anybody remember a little book called 'Sunny Smiles'.You paid some money and took out one of the pictures.I think we thought we had paid for them,they were pictures of smiling african children,smiling chinese children etc.
This will probably only apply to the hootooers from the uk.

Never saw the Sunny Smiles books. (I am in the UK though)

My son announced that he thought that we ate Martian Jam on our toast....until he worked out that we were saying "marge and jam". Needless to say, it has always been called Martian Jam from then on.

Om

on a very similar note to yours, Om, someone very near and dear to me used to find the hymn 'Lord of the Dance' very odd. He couldn't understand why people sung about the 'Lord of the Dark Settee'.