h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Just read the one about the Haggis being a 3-legged bird who lived on cliffs; I was toild that a Haggis was a 4-legged animal whose left legs (front and back) were shorter than it's right legs. The reason for this was that it lived on a hill and used to walk continuously around the hill in circles. Obvious really, when you think about it!!

When I was about 3 me and the little lad who lived next door raided my mum's cupboard and took out all the white stuff we could find. Once armed with flour, sugar, washing powder and Ready-Brek, we grabbed a bottle of orange cordial to glue it all together and made a medium sized snowman on the front step.
I've still got a photo of the two of us dressed in bad 70's shorts and t-shirts with the only July snowman I've ever seen. My mum must have been mad but she can't help laughing every time she sees the picture!

I was convinced that the cooling towers on the industrial estate behind my house were really cloud machines and that spilt petrol/oil on the road were dead rainbows.

i thought that farts came out as bubbles that u could see

I thought the government were in control of EVERYTHING, and were responsible for everthing.

My gradad told me monkies and apes could talk but they kept it secret as they knew people would make them do all the crappy jobs if they knew. I bought this when i was little believed it less as I got older and eventually thought he was slightly yampy or was pulling my leg.

Then I see the US navy training dolphins to clear sea mines and plant charges on enemy ships

My nan always used to say I was, too clever for my own good, if I answered her back. One day I saw a cartoon where a professors head exploded because he had too much in his mind. Spent the next few weeks trying not to learn things.

i ued to believe that when i flushed the loo, something that looked like Morticia's head from the adams family, would chase me and do something unspeakable!

i also used to think that bakers day at school was where all the teachers would go off and bake for the day!!!

When I was at primary school, there was a brother and sister whose surname was Harvey.

I never could figure out why they had a festival all to themselves.

I can't be the only one who imagined big hairy apes when I heard news reports such as 'the township was attacked by guerillas who killed many'.

Someones kid used to think that drafts were trying to get him, because his dad used to say "close that window, you don't want to let any draft in"

SAS stormed the compound, shot the gorillas and freed the ostriches

News reports such as 'two people were injured by flying glass' used to scare the wits out of me.

From the other viewpoint, my brother works with children and takes great delight in telling the kids:-

The isle of Portland, just off the coast of Weymouth(England) is connected to the mainland by a narrow road. Believe it or not, and if you look very closely, you can see that it's actually floating, and moves in and out with the tides.

The cows that make their way dow to the local beaches (beach cows)
are a different species from normal field cows.

and finally

You can occasionaly find small stones with even smaller stones inside.
These are pregnant stones and this is where pebble beaches come from.

CF