h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

very petty hate - the gap between movements in a symphony. Audience sits there smugly not applauding and their ostentatious coughs cause the previous movement to disappear from my brain. Wish they'd play straight through.

Ah but you do need a breather between movements. They don't segue neatly into each other, they present distinct ambiance s. I think a little take 5 and breathe is in order.

especially if you're in Germany you have to have those coughing breaks. We were recently at the Tonhalle in Düsseldorf to see a concert by Daniel Hope and the Stuttgart Chamber Orchestra. It was a Sunday afternoon children's concert (although there weren't many children there)

There were a lot of people who seemed as though they had never been to such a thing, was one but I had warned him about the Coughing Police in advance.

But some people along the row from us clearly hadn't a clue and were coughing a lot. At the interval the old biddies in the row in front of them turned round and told them off. and everyone was muttering about how disgraceful it was. Not the rudery of the biddies, but the coughing.

They didn't turn up for the 2nd part (which was the best part) and I felt bad that they had been so bullied like that.

The folkie in me is thinking that any music that can be ruined by a cough or two must be pretty damn flimsy to begin with.

well I have a whole issue around treating classical music with awed hush, but that's beside the point. Some of it is very quiet and if you have someone behind you coughing into your lughole I can imagine that you would be miffed, especially when the tickets are upwards of EUR 50.

Going back to the clapping - at the Daniel Hope thing there was a Q & A with him and someone asked when you should applaud and he said "whenever you feel like it" and a bit later on lived to regret it when the applause drowned out about 3 minutes of concert - and they played the movement again.

I know, I was just messing. (The folkie in me jostles for position with the Music Appreciator and usually only has full sway when it's a full moon).

But there *is* a problem with clapping, and that is that the speed of sound is slow enough to make it sound like people are clapping out of time when they aren't. Even in a small hall you can notice a lag between what you see and when you hear it.

Oh the clapping in / out of time with music on TV programmes!

Strictly come dancing etc - clapping all over the place.

Later with Jools Holland - no clapping during the music.

Nuff said?

PP.

Or that "canned laughter" they use on them TV sit coms, I suppose they have to do that, as the modern sit-coms are not very good?

Apart of course, for Mrs Browns Boys, which I think is the best TV comedy ever since Only Fools & Horses.

Smudger.

The clapping delay is very noticeable in Lincoln Cathedral. The roof is so high that the acoustics are somewhat eccentric. Soloists who haven't played there before are advised to have extra rehearsals to get used to the long delay between their playing something and the note bouncing back from the roof and their hearing it.
Such rehearsals often take place on Monday afternoons when I'm volunteering there.
PH: people who give me the right change with a lot of pennies in it.
I look a fool carefully counting it into the till.

Regarding canned laughter, I always loved the attitude of the maker's of M*A*S*H. They didn't want canned laughter as they felt the kind of humour in the show didn't warrant it. In the UK the series was shown without the laughter track. The BBC left it turned on for one episode and there were complaints from the viewers. Hopefully the DVDs for the show give you the option of with/without laughter track.

I'm not sure whether it's just because I saw it first without the canned laughter, but the laughter in MASH is even worse than in most shows. It seems louder, more in-your-face and irritating.

I really hate canned laughter. It's like the tv station is saying "You're too stupid to get the jokes, so we'll tell you when to laugh."
And it ruins it.
Plus, with some shows they've got the laughter track running when it isn't funny, it's just crap from an abysmal 'comedian' who's flavour of the month, and you're then sat there wondering if you've lost your sense of humour. Is that supposed to be funny? Is it just you not getting it?

I remember that episode of M*A*S*H. It was awful.

PP.

"PH: people who give me the right change with a lot of pennies in it.
I look a fool carefully counting it into the till."

Yes indeed (though this also needs to be placed in the retail rants thread I think )

They stare at you as you count it in, as if to say "he doesn't trust me". Same with checking high value banknotes. I feel like saying; "Fraud exists; it just does; you may have been handed a fake note in your change- i'm not personally accusing you of running a bank note printing factory just because I check your £50 note."

Hazzard warning lights.

1. Drivers who park in a bad place and then put on the HWLs because that makes it ok to stop in a bad place. Dur!

2. Vans parked at the side of the road to deliver stuff on go the HWLs and then a car parks up behind so that all the approaching motorist can see is the right hand indicator (UK diving here). If I had £10 for every time that I have slowed down or stopped and waved / flashed a delivery van without a driver in it, into the traffic I'd be able to buy everybody here a beer / gin and tonic / pan-galactic gargle blaster.

PP.

They're not hazard warning lights; they're park anywhere lights. Duh!

the people in my office who don't file credit notes properly. I'm doing our SOX testing and if I have to track down ONE MORE credit note there Will. Be. Trouble. Of the Fork/Eye variety.

The assumption that when I pay for some goods, I want to become the company's pen-pal for the rest of my life. No, I don't want to fill in your survey, win a nonsense gadget I don't have any use for, or buy the same thing off you every week from now until I snuff it.

I got the goods, you got my money, it's over.

"I got the goods, you got my money, it's over" <-- read that before the PH and it seemed a lot ruder

I share that petty hate though. Can you imagine it before the internet? You'd open your door in the morning and there'd be a shopping assistant stood on your doorstep "Good morning, we'd just like to know how you're getting on with the thing you ordered, yes we know you haven't got it yet but we thought we'd take this opportunity to say 'Hi' and see if the ordering was okay"
And then you get in to work to find another assistant from the same company sat at your desk "Hi, we'd just like to let you know that we've shipped your order, and we're sure you're going to like it, in fact we're so sure that we were wondering if you'd like to just answer these few questions about how wonderful our service has been..."

I think they didn't do it then because there'd have been a lot more people in A&E with black eyes and broken noses

That really could take on a different colour out of context, yeah...