h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

"civil service HR people"

Some of us are quite efficient I'll have you know!

I'm sure some of you are. This lot isn't. I keep having to google things for them.

They are beyond useless. That's what you get for contracting the HR functions out to bloody Fujitsu.

PH: Reporting of events using literal language which we'd expect to be figurative. For example, we're all used to hearing that "the prime minister was (figuratively) attacked in parliament," but fights literally break out in (foreign) parliaments from time to time, and at such times the news reports can fail to communicate the true gravity of the events. Now, I've just that the Transport Secretary is going to face a grilling from MPs....

That would really encourage MPs to answer truthfully if the alternative was a (literal) grilling

I'm due a note taker. We're nearly 6 weeks into the semester. The woman in charge is ill, leaving ONE guy to co ordinate 4 campuses. This is bad. I have nothing yet and I know I'm not the only disabled student on the campuses but c'mon...

A really Petty Hate - having started a number of different books and not being able to settle down with any of them.

Being just one, tiny, almost /insignificant/ step away from knowing the full solution to the Murder Mystery. And having to settle with only 97-percent of it.

As they used to say on a game show over here, all the clues are there

I've been very impressed with the response to it though. It was fun to put together, and it's very satisfactory to see the proper thinking that people are putting into trying to solve it.

PH: Clients.

ph: not the murder mystery itself but my inability to catch up when time for it was found. I actually gave up after a few hours of "can you just...?"

I'm mightily impressed, though, with the work that's gone into it - WELL DONE, all.



ph: Ms Stress's radar. Even though it's weakened by now (not very effective outside 100km or so) it's spot-on at home...

PH: when you're trying to listen to a radio program and someone tries to engage you in conversation. Obviously you can't ignore them, so you are compelled to break your concentration and say something.

PH: being pretty much unable to sing in front of strangers and when you do, it's not as good as it should be, or have been- but when you're on your own at home it's nearly note sodding perfect, and exactly what you wanted to sing in the first place.

Related to quotes' radio PH is when people decide to strike up a conversation while you're reading. BECAUSE OF COURSE THE FACT I AM READING IS AN OPEN INVITATION TO TALK TO ME.

What we need, Mr D, is a big "do not disturb" sign, which we could use to hit them with.

I tell people to leave me alone. If ever they say, or indicate they're thinking, "how rude" I tell them they were rude to interrupt me when I was so clearly doing something else.

It's a PH of mine that people aren't more clear about things they want (me included)

People who think you know the whole world personally, just because 'they' know them.

'Oh, Tina did something really funny, you know what Tina is like',

Well actually, no I don't know what Tina is like. I have never met anyone called Tina, I have no idea who she is and just because she is your hairdresser's vet's cousin does not mean I will recognise her in the street. And to be brutally honest, if all your boring, unfunny stories about Tina are true then I never want to meet her either...

Oh, and as an addendum to my PH above, I also hate the way the conversation then tries to convince you that you DO know Tina by adding on another few strangers.

'You must know Tina, she's married to Malcolm, you know, Malcolm with the big head and the funny hand?'

Erm...

'Malcolm, he always wears those brown trousers and the huge ties, his Mum's Brenda with the one leg and the glass eye. She always looks a bit manic. You know Brenda'.

Nope, I don't know Tina, Malcolm or Brenda and I'm beginning to wonder if you do, or if you just met them at the circus one day.

They sound made up to me!

PP.

OK, I was exaggerating slightly to get the point across!