h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

What's Lynx?

Petty hate of the day - that the supermarket has started selling aerosol cans of *water* - yes, just water, no additives! - for "refreshing your skin" in the summer.

Isn't the hole in the ozone layer big enough?

I saw some 'skinny water' on sale yesterday in my local supermarket...

And also a hypotonic for alcohol drinkers... Nice!

Last night I saw a park sign that read "Native fishes of the (something, something) River."

Mala, Lynx is a deodorant for (young and desperate, it would seem) men. Their recent advert shows 2 girls running into eachother and exploding to form one (apparently improved, hot and sexy) lady. Says something about mixing being better... I don't know. Then this stupid (I'm sorry, I already found her stupid BEFORE the ad) girl who came second in Britain's Next Top Model says something about "Try your moves on me on our website, blah-di-blah-di-blah". So, some women (the ones who like Lynx on men) are better, and they're also prostituting this person on their website. How much more can they do to demonstrate really bad taste?

the whole two women becoming one 'better' woman thing is illustrating that if you buy two cans of their 'new fragrances' (1 and indeed 2) and use them together, you get their extra special fragrance number 3.

So, buy two cans of our product for the effect of one.

See? Genius! Obviously encouraging men to 'spray more, asphyxiate more' wasn't making their profit margins huge enough.

All of their recent campaigns have impressed me with ther audacity if nothing else. While making me giggle at the faces of all the ignorant twits buying two cans of smelly to be one smell... and applying more of it so they have to buy it more often! Cos lets face it, it's unlikely to get you any more attention from women! (well, not real ones...)

Mala, Lynx is Axe over here.

Ah, right, I've seen that in the shops.

But the description of the ads makes me glad I have no TV



Petty hate of the day - our law professor, who gives three-hour lectures and has a one-hour timeslot

Everything at the moment- A Levels, this damn country, my family... the list goes on.

God yeah, + this country. I want to either emigrate to Italy or New Zealand.
G.C.S.E's-
good luck in your A Levels, Anna.

Doctors and professors. The lot of them.

I'm pettily hating the organisers of download this year putting the arena nearly a mile from the campsite. And you're ownly allowed a single small bottle of water in with you, everything else has to be bought in the arena. Honestly, the campsite is at one end of the racetrack and the arena is out past the other end of the track!

So they are doing their best to make sure we all have a good time as per usual. Half a mile walk with all your kit to camp, then a mile walk to get to the arena (not to mention the mile long uphill return journey after a hard day's heavy metal!)

If it rains I may well stay in my tent all weekend and sulk. If t's hot I might sit by the water tap and sulk instead.

I hate feeling ripped off when my mate has paid for the ticket, but festival organisers these days are all about the money and once you're there they just want more of your money and aren't interested in whether or not they've organised things properly for your convenience, it's all about getting it to you as cheaply as possible.

"And you're ownly allowed a single small bottle of water in with you, everything else has to be bought in the arena"

This would make my decision simple: I would keep my money in my pocket and boycott the event in the future.

I did after the first one! (where I paid for a ticket that included parking on the camp site and got charged £5 to park my car in the car park and walk all of our stuff to the camp site. Apparently they hadn't informed the staff of the camping plus ticket's details...Or ore to the point had mis-sold the tickets... Oddly there were no management available on festival weekend...)

Thing is, this is the second time now people have insisted on taking me despite my complaining and moaning (was given a VIP/press area pass a few years back and my mate's bought me a ticket this year)... Last year I was begging everyone to boycott the damn thing and to tell them why too, as I have every year since I first went. Problem is, people nowadays seem to be masochists for this sort of thing. You're paying the best part of £200 to be treated like battery hens and everyone seems to think they should be grateful for it!

But I cant moan too much when my best mate bought me a ticket because she wants my company. And The Offspring are playing and I really do want to see them... It just makes me sad. I'm late 80s/early90s Glasto kid! That's a festival, not a glorified, captive-audience beer-and-music-in-a-pressure-cooker weekend.

I dunno, I just think it's a sad state of affairs that people accept being treated like this nowadays.

Download, ho yus. Last went 2004, probably never again .

Car park three miles from campsite. Food left in the car to rot as we couldn't carry it all.

£5 'extra' charge for parking.

3 hour wait to get through the gate. Probably just as well, as it gave us time to drink all the booze we weren't allowed to bring in. Got the the gate to discover two queues, one checking bags, one not, so joined the 'nothing to declare' aisle . Bizarre. Huge sign saying 'No Gazebos' but drugs didn't seem to be a problem.

Campsite stupidly overcrowded. Tents pitched on top of each other. Tents pitched in access roads. Major fire hazard .

Rumours of stuff getting nicked from tents. Rumours confirmed when security seen selling stolen stuff.

Come Monday morning, free bus nowhere to be seen, necessitating three-mile walk back to car with all camping stuff .

That's the one! Nothing like paying for the privilege of being royally ed while you try to go about your weekend's fun.

It's a lot of stuff to drag a LONG way. Awful organisation. Hence me refusing to go back, but when given free tickets and having friends begging you to go, it'd be extremely churlish not to.

But seeing the new site map *has* made me reconsider.

Honestly, the arena used to be in the middle of the race course. It's now out the bottom end! Directly opposite the camp site!



I'm so glad they dont have my money, I'd sue them! Gotta find my happy and not enraged face though, everyone I'm going with seems to be oblivious to the fact they are being screwed. Sad days indeed. And I thought the banning of the travellers from Glastonbury was one of the worst festival decisions ever!

This all makes my current petty hate seem really petty. My gripe is with shoe manufacturers. Obviously it has been decided that women's shoes this year should be totally flat or have a high heel. I've not been able to find any attractive shoes with a low - mid-height heel. I'm not comfortable in totally flat shoes, and I don't look good in them, either. For health reasons it's best if I don't wear very high heels.

All I want is a pair of pretty sandals with a LOW heel. Can I find any? Can I heck.

Ooh no, I agree with you! There's nary a decent one or two inch heel to be found anywhere, it's all sky scrapers or flatties, and flatties make me look so short and round I HATE them!

bloody fashions!

Shoe shopping in general. Can't stand it. Damn awkward feet, you see.

SERIOUSLY! I shoe shopping, but absolutely hate techie sort of shopping like computers

>> Honestly, the arena used to be in the middle of the race course. It's now out the bottom end! Directly opposite the camp site! .<<

I think that's where it used to be, back in Monsters of Rock days. In those days you could just pick your own spot in the field, park up, open the beer, pitch the tent next to the car and then go off in search of firewood. Happy days

>>everyone I'm going with seems to be oblivious to the fact they are being screwed. <<

Yes, you expect to pay over the odds for beer and hamburgers at a festival. But now it's just designed to strip you of everything you need to survive a weekend, like your car, food, booze and will to live, before trapping you and your wallet in a massive retail park miles from anywhere. I'm surprised they still let you in with clothes .