h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

>>But surely you don't *hate* the spider for that? Just think it's daft<<

I pettily hate it.

Touché.

There's a situation, and I believe hi-tech equipment is installed into pelican crossings to let them do this, where you want to cross the road. Traffic is whizzing by in both directions without cease. You get to the pelican and press the button. Lo and behold, the very instant you press the button, the traffic flow ceases and the road becomes completely empty. Yet the "do not cross this road" red man is up there grinning down at you. You then agonise. Do I stand here looking like a total twit waiting for the red man to change to green, even though the road is totally bereft of all traffic and I can get away with swiftly nipping over? (Which is technically illegal and a bad example to set to children).

Yuo also know that should you try to cross on the red man, within three footsteps of getting to the other side, the red man will go to green, wverything will start bepping, and two or three cars will suddenly appear who will be forced to stop at the red light, although nobody is waiting to cross. That little camera box on top of the pelican will, from the motorist's point of view, enforce compliance.

And car drivers hate nothing more than having to stop at Pelicans when nobody is there to cross. Should they see you nimbly stepping over to the other side - and they will - you will be the focus for their displaced hatred.

Face it, trhey are designed to do things like this out of a sort of electronic schadenfreude. Sirius Cybernetics Corporation street furniture! (the "I HATE my job and i'm taking it out on you" personality protoytpe)

That happens to me everyday on a busy road outside work!!

I think my stupid spider might be a member of hootoo: there was no web this morning for the first time in months

Y'see? All you had to do was ask nicely!

I do! I talk to spiders! You get the odd one who doesnt listen, but generally, if you explain and really visualise things while you say it, they tend to listen. I am careful not to ask too much. Basically, not where I can see you unless it's above head height (when I'm standing)and not directly above me or my bed. It for the most part works... I've found one in over a year

I shall try that tonight with the midges who keep flying round my face while I'm eating me tea!

aah, the ones who deliberately exist to irritate you, particularly those with a 'group' identity like midges tend to ignore you. I find it works best with the more sedentiary, intelligent, solitary species. I dont find that the leggy spiders that build big delicate webs behind wardrobes take ANY notice... I think they are a bit stubborn and a bit stupid...

You tell someone you have a cold and they snap "Well don't give it to me!"

And I control that how?

Ooh I hate that too... a former boss of mine used to cover her mouth and only speak to you from more than five feet away if you had a cold. Boy, it was tempting to wait for her to leave the office and sneeze in her lunch.

The fact that in CDG airport they charge you for that little bag you now have to put your liquids in

They make you wee in a bag?

I see it as a good sign. Long have commentators in Britain and the US complained about the continental European failure to fully embrace capitalism. France is showing that you can be ripped off in Europe too.

>>They make you wee in a bag? <<

Ha, better than in a policeman's helmet:

http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/uk_news/7081038.stm

(I grant you this is only allowed in very specific circumstances )

>>France is showing that you can be ripped off in Europe too.<<

In an airport doubly so. Wasn't it Seinfeld who suggested that airports were just some sort of scam to sell ridiculously overpriced tuna sandwiches?

Hi Toy Box. I don't think it's that bad that you have to pay for your little bag. They can't be very expensive and it serves anyone who forgets them right! There are plenty of warnings in advance.

I have a petty hatred for people who eat with their mouths open... *yuk*

Normally I wouldn't mind either, it's just that everything is so expensive in an airport that they don't really need that! Not to mention that you cannot get them from the information desk or wherever, you have to go to the 'Relay' newspaper shop

And I had some personal grudge about CDG that day. It may well be undergoing renovations now but they overdo it (things are not very clearly indicated, and coffee places close way too early...).

Moreover, it kicked the thread back to life

Coursework
Assholes in school who think cos you're disabled you are thick
Coursework
Not knowing what the hell to do now...

... and did I mention coursework?

Having to come to work on my day off!