h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Is that your petty hate insanity?

Petty hate: people who think theory is the same as proof.

What about too many X-mass decarations, or ones that are up too long, like still there now!

A sound diagnosis, doctor.

Surely hate of something is not a suffix, but a prefix? I imagine it would be miso-whatever. I don't know. Where's a classicist (sp.?) when you need one?

Whoops, didn't read all the red dots. That posting was in reply to eloisa.

*Waiting for the obvious petty hate to be posted...*

Phobia also seems to mean hatred. e.g. xenophobia and homophobia.

Oh yeah, forgot about that

I'm sure this has been mentioned already, but I'd like to provide my take on it:

People who ing talk to you whilst you're watching a film!

The worst ones are those who make predictions:

"She's dead"
"I bet he's his son"
"He's hiding in the cupboard"
"It's strawberry"

Or whatever.

If they get it right, they claim it was obvious whilst still trying to give you the impression that compared to them, Nostradamus was a mere *amateur*. If they get it wrong, they either say "oh" or nothing at all, as if absorbing this information so as to try to second guess the rest of the film, which in fact is probably precisely what they're doing.

Information, furnished ("Yeah, because he was talking to the government agent earlier, remember?") or requested ("Who's that? Why's he doing that!") are not appreciated either.

Some people are just talkative, ok, that's fine, but please! You're ruining it for the rest of us.

People who talk loudly in the cinema or worse rustlers as in sweet wrappers sitting behind you...they always have those bags of fruit boiled sweets and rummage around for different flavours

PILOT LIGHTS!

When I go to bed at night I switch things OFF!. What happens? There is a little light still on. I switch off the button. There is a little light on the extention lead. I switch it off. There is a little light on the wall socket. I hit it with a hammer. It goes out.
It is like living in the cockpit of a jumbo jet. I turn off the cooker...Pilot Light. I turn off the shower....Pilot light.
Even my toothbrush has a pilot light. Why? Why? Why? It isn't gas, I don't need to know if there is electricity in a wire, it is always there. Telly, DVD, VHS, Computer, cooker, Shower, rechargable vacuum cleaner, storage heater, why? why?

20 LED's times 50,000 households. How much wasted power is that? How much Co2 in the atmosphere.

Can we not go back to the time when the switch that said On/Off actually worked and turned the damn thing off instead of having to hunt through secret compartments to find the real switch. Do I have to switch my whole house off at the mains and use a candle?

Rant Over.

Carlyle Ferris [Keeper of the Strait Jacket]

People who vomit on trains or buses
The armrests next to window seats on trains and buses that prevent you from leaning against the window
Ingrowing toenails

People who smoke on buses, particularly as they're now not supposed to do that - I've had to put up with this for about ten years now, from high school days to the public buses in Manchester, where some individuals even smoke pot at the back of the top level of the bus.

I hate people who smile at double decker buses. Sounds wierd but next time you are on the top deck watch people walking past. They will look up at the top deck and grimace .

I hate people who cross over level crossings when there is a train coming. I counted less than five seconds between a stupid cyclist at Chelmsford and a train doing 100MPH. When he started crossing we were 1/2 mile away. People just don't realise.

People who wander around platforms on their mobile phones teetering on the edge of the platform.

Passengers

Stupid questions: "Excuse me, is that the express train to London"? (points to a single car train with "Great Yarmouth" written across the front).

People who choose to end their lives throwing themselves infron of high speed trains.

Trains without CET's (toilet tanks). I am going to have to uncouple trains now with piles of toilet paper plastered on the couplings (yum).

Conservatives: They are just so false. Look at Michael Howards smile. It's false. And he thinks he is really clever. Knob.

Daewoo Matiz: Why?

French Oil companies: Demand stupid results from their exploration surveys instead of time in the bars.

Great Yarmouth: Why!!!!

Erm? I think I will finsh there for a moment. I think I am just nipped up a little and have issues.

Dr Ferris that is an excellent petty hate! Pilot lights used to annoy me- now the're just so omnipresent i don't notice anymore.

It's going to start bothering me again.. oh no..

Moomin Die... now I just have this second sight thing- I don't like to boast about it.. but are you.. could you perhaps be a train driver?

Erm? I am a trainee driver.

Erm? I am a trainee driver. Don't start all your passenger related petty hates as I have heard them all!

I was on this train.. and gawd, would you believe it..... blah, blah... overcrowding.... blah blah....30 minutes late- no apology....blah....shot past my station...... blah....driver bleedin ambling towards the cab without a care in the world and we were already 25 mins...... blah... standing all the way to antartica....the slugs in the field next to us were overtaking us....blah...I've seen cleaner landfill sites I tell you...

You mean that sort of thing?

Yeah....that's it. Hear it everyday. Mind you shooting past stations and the driver gets severely slapped on the wrists! That is another few points on the licence. I already have 5.

Well... where's the fun in bleedin' stopping every few minutes? It must be great to pick up a bit of speed. And let's face it there must be few greater feelings that doing 100mph past a platform of people frantically waving their hands and other body parts at you.. which of course is just a pleasing blur from your position in the cab

Only joking folks.. I've been on 'that' platform.. it aint all that amusing at the time...

Just don't do that thing that driver did in China a few days ago- and shoot through the last station on the line

My latest petty hate is mini-programs, like say the weather report on TV, that have openeing and closing sequences that are longer than the actual program itself

I'm thinking of ITV and CH4 weather (UK), where the opening sequence/advert/sponsorship is about 50 seconds long, the actual weather report about 30 seconds, followed by another 50 second closing sequence..

Just give us the blo*dy weather report you muppets and stop with the crap at either end