h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Jesus, yes. Whereabouts was the stadium?

Huh?

Wembley=Twin Towers

B

Phew. Glad I found *that* out.

Scary girl, huh? Oh well ... I think shape is much more important than size, but the interesting (and seldom-documented) thing is that to be honest breasts have never been a deciding factor -- how someone's face looks, which is far more a matter of personal taste, is a much bigger deal to me. So there's nothing to worry about (note to ladies -- you really don't want to be going out with me, anyway -- trust me).

And in any case, most of the women I date become depressingly personality-free ... it seems to be induced by going out with someone because they become really interesting again afterwards ....

Life is so weird.

I certainly would never refuse to go out with/sleep with/kiss someone because of their breasts.

Unless they're man-breasts, of course

"women I date become depressingly personality-free ... it seems to be induced by going out with someone because they become really interesting again afterwards"

No, that's universal. Happens to everyone of both sexes.

B

Bummer, man. Although I know some married friends and near-married friends of whom this is not true ... they seem to have got more personality now, not less. (How I envy *them*! Although they're actually far too much fun to hang out with for me to feel bad for very long.)

Surely some solution is possible?

Get married?

It's a bit drastic, I know.

B

This is, in fact, the eventual plan. Unfortunately I have to find the girl I want to marry first, and (this is the tricky bit) she has to want to marry me, too.

So I'll carry on waiting ....

I know this feeling.

I think eligile batchelorhood (that a word?) will suit me quite nicely for the rest of my life.

Also, assuming my application goes through in time, I'll be a teacher come 2004, and they're permanently randy anyway.

B

Eligible.

Teachers permanently randy? Scary thought.

You obviously didn't go to public school then

B

No indeed, although you can guess what the first question everyone asks when they hear I went to a boys' school is. I usually answer that it wasn't residential and that in any case I was a faster runner than most of my contemporaries, and most of us focused our nascent sexuality largely on the girls' school a mile away.

Some of us still do.

Excuse me, there's a policeman banging on my front door.

B

Whom is he ...

... no, I won't ask that question.

do guys at all boys schools spend the whole time lusting for young women?

because if they do it's no different to mixed public schools

>do guys at all boys schools spend the whole time lusting for young women?<

Young, old, take your pick but yes. Why do they have to make the French teacher the foxiest woman to have walked the planet at all boys boarding schools?

Liam.

*confusedly eligible*

At MY high school nobody once asked me out..not a jock, not a musician, not a thespian, not even a geek!! I blame this for my thinking I'm Fu-ugly.

I also don't get hit on at bars. A friend recently tried to explain this, that it was because I was intimidating, being both pretty and clever, thus a lot of work. Feh. That's a bunch of sh*t.

Unfortunately, in my experience, it would appear that the majority of men who would hit on an attractive lass tend to be the arogant dickheads. The rest of us blokes think 'nope, no way she'd be interested in me'. However, the majority of arrogant dickheads are also able to suss out intelligent females. Therefore, attractive, intelligent women pretty much have to rely on blind luck (in finding a bloke who will hit on them and aint an idiot) or go for it themselves. Please, just once, will an intelligent woman go after a bloke she fancies? Some of us blokes would find that very flattering and not tarty in the least. In fact we'd very grateful for you saving us all the embarresment!

Equally unfortunately H2G2 seems to have a high proportion of intelligent, attractive women who have found intelligent decent blokes.

I'd start getting names and addresses and reading up on arsenic if I was you ....

That's the solution, Nyssa - you're obviously way too attractive.

B

*cough* Thanks for the kind words boys. First one here can have me!