h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

"laters" ... there's something about it that really makes me want to smash things ...

"take a chill pill" - oh off

England pronounced with and extra syllable (EngERland) in the middle issued by brain dead, tabloid reading herd following, working class scum/football supporters

In fact any sentence with the word "football" in.

Any phrase issued by ex-miners along the lines of "Three Generations worked down t' mine, now t' mines shut where are my sons going to get crippling diseases from?" - ( I added the last bit of course)


Any sentence by a politician starting "But the real issue is"

CH

Anything .......aholic

The only word that should end in that is alcoholic - addicted to alcohol.

Is anyone addicted to Chocahol? Workahol?

As I work in the conference industry I hear alot of "buzzwords" (that being one of them) but thank god the 1980's word "synergy" has all but disappeared from corporate speak. The word I hear most these days is "orchestrate"

There is a brilliant web site where you can generate your very own corporate BS
http://www.dack.com/web/bullshit.html

With all due respect ..... (normally followed by gratuitous criticism)

but but all time favourite expression to hate is ....

"They think its all over .... it is now"

"We appologise for any inconvenience caused to your journey"

Usually found on a yellow sign at the road works you have been queueing for for an hour and 40 minutes. Or when your train is late by 2 hours.

Listen, I DON'T CARE! I just want to get there on time. I do NOT believe you are sorry. I DO believe you don't give a stuff 'cos you are getting paid a fortune for this work and the person saying this is now off to sit in the coffee room for half an hour. *grrr*

Bring back the cones hot line, at least then you could wind someone else up while stuck in the traffic jam.

I think Valley Girl / Buffy-speak ought to be banned in the UK.

I think, it's like, sooooow annoying! whatever!

These people have serious epistemological problems on most subjects, and ought to be put out of their misery.

And also people who say "snuck" instead of "sneaked".

Otto

Any "baby" talk when used by adults - it is bad enough that 3 year olds speak like that......

Any "catch phrase" from soap operas, comedy shows, comic routines when used in general conversation.

Facilitate, v Facilitator, n
..as in "the facilitator facilitates".

"He borrowed it me"
instead of "he lent the article to me"
"He wrote me"
instead of "he wrote a letter to me"

Eurgh.

Liam.

What about "snogging", to me it sounds like something pigs would do.

Hmmm, I notice several words or phrases that I've been known to use cropping up. Anyhow, next nomination is "one-hundred and ten percent" or indeed any percentage over 100 used to mean "totally". The only allowable usage of such percentages should be when it's literally true.

"Totally unique"

hmmmm......

Being called cuteie, hunny, love darlin, sweety, doll ect by random people who you have never met and never will agane unless it is in the caught case or punching there lights out.

ta and tata I mean waht the f**k does ta mean..and what does it mean somthing els when you ad another one to it.

Have a nice day...espechally when it is said in the bord go jump off a bridge and stop bothering me voice wich is almost as bad as the fake sincer I really really really really really mean it voice.

You are over quolified for this job...what the f**k do they mean how can you ever be over qliyed. if you want to tel me Ime s**e do it dont try and flater me for gods sake.

Good morning!!!..morning is bad live with it

more will be added by myself or elly shortly

Lady in a Tree, that website's

Of course, you don't become a linguist without having dozens of virulent opinions on language, but I'll be brief.

Among the masses of pretentious - and I have to say, mostly transAtlantic (sic) euphemisms I despise, the worst offender for me is saying 'issue' when you mean 'problem'. Thousands of small cuddly creatures scream themselves hoarse every time someone utters that obscenity. Yes I do have an issue issue.

Jack

Oh, and:

"Talk to the hand, 'cause the face don't wanna know!"

Well then, they can shove their sodding hand right up their



Caper Plip

Caper Plip, I presume you've read 'Candide'?

Nope... what's it about?

There's always the ultimate- "My, haven't you grown!"
Or talking about you as if you're not in the room- "HE's doing marvelously at uni!"
*HE* is right infront of you, for 's sake!

Innit used in a sentence where it doesn't fit. Innit is surely short for isn't it so how does this make sense when someone says "I'm really annoyed innit

Also I'm not being funny but...... which is always followed by the person being extremely funny in a non humerous way.

As well as aks for ask, I hate sickth for sixth and fith for fifth. Also pronounciation instead of pronunciation

And the very worst of all - HAITCH for the letter h.

"Human resources manager"

Yeah, HR is evil, both the word and, inevitably, the department so perhaps it's suitable.

I used to work at a place that went from "Personell" to "Human Resouces" to "Human Capital"! Talk about disgusting. It also brought to mind the phrase "Capital expenditure", which made me nervous.

Ste

At my last place, when I left, my manager had to fill in an 'Employee Termination' Form, complete with a section headed 'Reason for Termination'. And that was for me resigning to take up a post elsewhere! Goodness only knows what it said when you were fired !