h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Stop drooling Lentilla.

...which is better than being the mold between his toes, like yourself.

thats better than eating it leo!
cheers
ford

That's not drool, I'm being violently ill.

And Leo, I always thought your scent was reminiscent of fomunda cheese. You know, fomunda cheese. Fomunda the foreskin.

i always thought you smelled like a dead rat encrusted with grubs rotting in a sewer in new york!
cheers
ford

and you're a dead toad formerly lying in the nevadan desert, now slowly finding your way through a a vulture's digestive system.

..and now you're working your way through the digestive system of a Dung Beetle.

you only know that because you ARE the dung beetle!

UGG!!! i got dung beetle on my shoe!
cheers
ford

And you're slowly but surely decomposing from fertilizer to mud.

gits.

gits spelled backwards is stig!
freaks!
cheers
ford

Hello? little green thing from mars? Do you comprehend me, or are you too stupid to understand speech? Hello?



GO HOME.

i am home! where the hey are you!?
cheers
ford

Oh, good. Well, while you're home, could you clean up the place? I think your smelly socks are causing global warming.

No lentilla that's the noxious gas you are emitting.

I take comfort in the fact that you all have the comparative lifespan of a common housefly compared to my semi-immortality. Oh, I'm sorry. I suppose no one got around to telling you. Oh well, wallow away the rest of your short, noxious lives then.

If I had to spend eternity looking like you do, Zoomer, I'd regard it as a kind of personal hell.

That noxious gas I'm emitting? It's called carbon dioxide, Hellbound, and if it irritates your eyes, it's because you're a chlorine breathing cephalopod from the planet Octomegophagophon.

nah, that gas you're emitting is oxygen...you're just poison oak

you're all a bunch of single celled organisms.


squish.