h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Can you..umm..fall in whilst your boiling it's head? That should improve your skin condition.

*smirk*

Boiling your head, Is that how you got that exploded prune look, Trin? Well its better than the previous look I'll give you that.

What, the 'horror from beyond the universe' look? I dunno... I liked that one better. At least there were tentacles.

How you lot, all of you adopting the 'pile of mucus' look, can give me hassle is beyond me

*Preens in handheld mirror You are beautiful, no matter what they say*

Turn the mirror over.

OK *Turns double-sided mirror over* Man, you are soooo pretty!!!

I suspected you were a man, but the growths could have been just about anything.

The growths are facinating aren't they zoomer. You should try to cultivate some yourself. It might improve your chances.

Why cultivate anything that might mar my clear, clean skin? That's why I'm staying way over here, so I won't catch anything from those pustules you refer to as facial features.

Shut your wretched pie trap, you ridiculous pr!ck.

RF

Oh dear, simulpost.

Pr!ck? That is something I don't have. Nor would I want. And I don't want any of your nasty pie either. I forgot my spoon.

What a lovely group you all make. I forgot my glasses. Good thing, too since the last time I saw you in focus, your putrescent, rotting bodies made me leave before I was ill. As a matter of fact, presently your out of focus visiges are making me as nauseous as your foul odour is. I'm out of here.

Leaving so soon? Well that's ok. I won't miss you. Please clean up the trail if detritus that sloughs off you as you leave.

No, don't clean it up - Freddy's hungry

I bet you all eat Vegimite!

I bet you eat your own effluence.

EWWwwww!

Only someone who makes their home in the gutter could say something like that.

From my dry little home in the gutter I can just make you out through the sewage grate. Is that a nest you're lying in or your own body?