h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Ah - the old anal-oral mix-up. That old chestnut. How very original.

i take it from the sarcasm that it's happened to you quite a lot?

The mix-up? Personally, no. I'm just fascinated by the fact that you, the assorted pond-life, seem incapable of discussing anything else

Confronted with the twisted homunculus that is your physical presence it's hard enough to express these words. The only thing that keeps me from vomiting is the sure and present knowledge that you would slither over and lap it up for a snack.

Thanks for the offer of a towel Trin, but I'd rather have a monkey pox infested blanket than use what you have been growing in your laundry.

But won't you need the monkey pox infested blanket to sleep under? It's what you usually use, no? And if it's all damp and smelly ... sorry, if it's damper and more smelly than usual, then you won't be able to sleep and then that's an extra eight hours of you being awake we'll all have to undergo. Doesn't bear thinking about.

Please don't spit when you talk Trin, its bleachin my hair, funnily enuff that's what RF spittle did..you must have both got the same affliction.

Like I said I would prefer a monkey pox infested DAMP blanket as opposed to what you got in your laundry cupboard.....

I'm surprised you can bear thinking, that must really hurt, want lots of narcotics, here have my medical trolley and help yourself to that, that, AND this also, mixing drugs is good for what you got.

Hair?!!?!!??? Is that what you call it?

I'm sorry I forget that you have no bodily hair and that you are confused by the sight of my gorgeous shiny chesnut locks.

When I next go for a trim I'll send you some - perhaps you can stick em to your pate or something.

Look, a card, a bunch of flowers, fine - but please don't offer me your hair. It's just not right.

(If that's a self-portrait, I'm noting the fact there's no hair on it )

uh huh, scraping the bottom now are we? I could say the same for the smiley *yawn*

I already admitted that I have tresses to die for...and I even said I'd share them with you. Not my fault that you can't handle kindness for your abomination.

Tresses to die for? Tresses to die laughing about, more likely

Did you get dressed in the dark, Trin?

Only for fear of catching sight of you, m'dear

I see you still haven't found anything more useful to do than insulting each others - but what else could you expect from a bunch that makes 'senile' look like 'genius' in comparison?

Oh hello the great ...ania...I see that you have been allowed out to play.

Yes, they decided to allow me to make a few last minute observations on your *shudder* 'behaviour' before extinguishing you

Ooh, go on then, extinguish us Oh no. Oh we're soooo scared.

Alternatively, why don't you try boiling your head?