h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

For your benefit creachy and lentilla, creachy cos you did in fact spell your made up word wrong it were missing another 'm', and lentilla you obviously have never heard of swiss cheese..not having travelled very far from your cave.

emmentaler

n : large-holed Swiss cheese [syn: Emmenthal, Emmental, Emmenthaler, Emmentaler]

Not exactly sure how you sewer a haggis but you can ask your family, I'm sure they know being that they live down there

i'm sorry. the gunk (that is made up of micro organisms that probably have a close resemblance to yourself) that currently blocks my earholes distracted me from taking any of that in...what was that about snails?

aha! morning Creachy I see you made it out of that slime pit hole...

blah

What a bunch of lollygaggers.

Honestly, if I didn't stroll through here kicking your corpse-like bodies every now and then, they'd switch off the life-support.

What are you complaining about you rubber necking excuse for self-aware putrescence? Kicking anything with those weak little legs wouldn't wake it up, your stench might. And by they way, you're mistaken (once again) you're only kicking your friends and relatives. You have to look waaaaay up to see me.

Yes, we've booked the sanitation engineers and they'll be removing the fungal slime called cl zoomer from the ceiling tomorrow.

I'd like to remind you that this thread is for organisms with a central nervous system. Goodbye, cl.

I was wondering how long it would take you trolls to turn up. Am expecting that useless excuse for a researcher Trin to be along any minute now too. Hopefully MV has crawled back into the slimehole she was so obviously familiar with.


*hoping when the sanitation engineers arrive they can remove the snivelling snake known as feddy as well as scraping cl off the ceiling*

>> feddy <<

lern two spel.

Ah, my poor delusional specimens of subspecies. Over here! Up here, on the other side of the window high on the wall. Don't move too quickly or you'll stick to the padded walls again. Soon it'll be feeding time again and you can gorge yourselves on the efluence we slide under the door.

You seriously think sanitation engineers are going to be taking calls from you lot? Oh, they may have said they were going to come, but, believe me, as soon as they'd put the receiver down they were all off to shower and disinfect themselves - even down telephone lines that's the kind of putrifying effect you have... yes, all of you.

And where does the 'effluence' (two 'f's - and you know what they stand for) come from exactly? Out of your festering gob, perchance?

ff? f*ckwit feddy?

Sounds about right - though since it comes from you, I assume someone else must have helped

Funny, that's the first time I've heard the specimens I put under the microscope *talk*...this slide calls itself "Trin Tragula". Oh well, dispose of in the biohazard bin as per usual...

No, look again - that's not a microscope. I know you've never seen it before, but you need to think a bit harder, not just give it a random name. Go on, keep looking. Yes, that's right, that's it, it's SOAP, isn't it? SOAP. What people use to make themselves clean. Clean? You don't know what clean means either?

Och. None of you can hear me from the other side of this thick glass. I'm glad it's here to protect me from the rabid, contagious microscopic vermin that constitute most of your horribly disfigured bodies. Pity though that you have such a narrow, halucinagenic view of reality. Better to understand your terrible fate, that way you'll know what's happening when the cleansing flushing begins.

I think you should all stop breathing, it's getting smelly in here

Smelt just fine till you turned up

Well stop breathing thro those gills then, Trin

No gills on me, something must be interfering with your vision - ah, yes, it's your nose. Actually, is that a nose, or some sort of fungal growth?