h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

its 3 am

fsh/lh are not available nor is ultrasound

bilious

fbc show raised white count shift to left

u&e normal

plain field nsa

patient is consious... anything you want to ask her?

Pain questions - location, radiation and exacerbating/relieving factors, severity of pain on a scale of 1-100, colicky/constant, had the pain before or not. Is she pyrexial, and what's the amylase like? (just a small note - I've posted a Hello! to your personal space here: http://www.bbc.co.uk/dna/h2g2/classic/F93067?thread=193871&post=2170687#p2170687 Probably best if we limit the medic-speak to there :-) )

FABT - someone gave me a dinky mirror from the Body Shop for my b.day - and has a cover so doesn't get all scratched.

I don't have a handbag (keep thinking I should get one, must be getting old )but I tend always to chuck the boosame things in whatever bag comes to hand when I go out.

wallet
mobile phone
keys
book
lipsalve
sunglasses (just in case it's bright and I want to show them off)
paracetamol/ibruprofen

and if I'm lecture-bound a notebook and pen

thanks swiv

trip to the body shop is on the cards

This is horrible:

*mobile phone
*purse (massive, containing an Italian €1 coin for my collection and 10 Korean Won - plus about a million plastic cards
*feminine hygine products, in a plastic freezer bag
*tissues (3 packs of 10) in a plastic freezer bag
*6 Ikea freezer bag clips
*2 ball pens (both work)
*1 notebook and a pen attachd (in case I actually get any inspiration for "my novel" but right now it has some quotes, a pumpkin butter recipe and the measurements of every window in the house)
*set of jeweller's screwdrivers
*swiss army knife (can't get most of the blades open)
*rubber Korean thingy (a lady - but it's covered with fluff, so it's difficult to tell) to hang on my mobile phone (I can't)
*pack of Minty strips (breath things)
*hayfever tablets
*hayfever nose spray
*anti-bloating-due-to-trapped-wind tablets
*half a pack of chewing gum
*dummy (don't know why, my kids never used them and they're too big now anyway)
*recipe for Rocky Road Slice (yum)
*Front door keys
*car keys, containing keys for 4 cars, only 2 of which are actually on the road - the other two were scrapped years ago
*passport and residence permit
*floppy disk with "my novel" on it (mainly empty, but you never know)
*a Major Clanger (yep, it whistles)
*A small pack of coloured pencils and a small notebook in a freezer bag - 2 of these

off to empty it: It's way too heavy

am I the ONLY person to carry the wetwipes????? tut tut tut

as well as them, I have

benadryl
orange-mint ricola
spare pants
diary
purse/wallet with euros and loads of cards in
little black book
3 passports
an empty purse (for putting sterling in)
a stick of uhu
vaseline
female requisites
my daughters purse that she gave me yesterday to mind
a pen from the Hague
a lighter
a receipt for a spare set of keys since I dropped the first lot down a drain
cheque book
aspirin blister pack with one tablet left
gym card
make up
Chanel face papers
driving licence
a computer advertising flyer
a broken end off a Tour de France flag
passport photos of self
the users guide to my internet provider so I could ring the helpdesk.
mobile phone
keys
football stickers to bribe my son with.

sho, unsuprised about major clanger but why freezer clips?

luckystar, the only person with more crap in their bag than me....well done!

This is easy compared to the what is on your desk thread!

Mobile phone
PDA
pen in pen-holding thing
assorted credit/store/reward/bank cards (about 15 of them)
some cash in cash zip pocket
car keys
little removable front thing from my car radio
receipt for new gas hob to be collected this week

That's it! My bag is too big and all the stuff rattles round. I can get a book in there if I know I'll have to wait for something but there isn't one now.

k

i forgot something!

there are also paracetamol and asthma stuff in my bag. and today my debenhams bill is in thre too

I have no idea why the freezer clips are in there, but I actually tipped out the bag this morning, because I was looking for something and I found more stuff:

1 pack of wetwipes in a nifty plastic container, that, unfortunately, has been open and they are all dry

A barbie shoe (red)

a sucked sweet that gruesome #2 admitted she put in there because she didn't like it

EW!

The clanger, btw, is off my desk, I had to remove him when the VP came round. Pah!

dry wetwipes.

what a shame.

here, have one of mine

I'm never without my bag, though it doesn't contain much :

Purse
A paper napkin sprayed with Gucci aftershave (I like the smell, allright?! )
Keys
Pencil (Dang! When did I get practical? )
The book I'm currently reading (Right now it's 'The Vampire Lestat' by Anne Rice)

The horror, the horror Seems like ages since I posted something on 'Ask h2g2...'

And this from the community which is paranoid about Big Brother.

The next question will be "What's in your Bank Account" (following "What's in your paste buffer" - "What's on your desk top" "What book are you reading" "What music are you listening to at this precise moment"

I don't care - I'll tell all. I hate handbags and like wearing jeans so I can shove keys, money, ID, mobile and lipstick in my pockets. I'm so fat that no one would ever get their hands in my pockets without greasing them first, so I reckon it's all safest there.

Of course, for dress and posh days I use handbags, and love having lots of different colours and designs. When I first started using a handbags I had a fairly small one - what does a 13-year-old carry apart from some money and a hanky? Then came student days and you had your lunch and pens and Tampax and books to read on the train, etc., etc and were best off nicking the paper boy's bag.

Then dainty secretary days - miniscule reticule, expensive minature everything.

Young Mum - enormous handbag (nappies, etc. See Anna's list above)

Kids out of nappies - first investment - a MINUTE handbag.

That didn't work - got a bigger one.

Kept losing stuff in it, it was so big. Got a small one.

Nothing fit into it. So I had to hone everything - new passport, smaller size (the tears when I had to have that black one cancelled. They were SO dignified - tatty little red thing now.) Do you have cheque card sized driving licences in the UK now? I got myself one to fit in my new small handbag. Cost three times as much as the bag.

Smaller purse. Then they introduced the Euro - the coins and notes are bigger than the D-Marks. Damn!


But!


What's in it? Ha! I'm not telling. Big brother might use it against me. (This is in blatant contradiction to what I say in the Talking Point forum and is not to be taken seriously)

Hmm...think I need to clear out my rucksack.

contents:

Keys - with several mystery keys
Mobile phone
Homoepathic pills for quitting smoking
Pen
Diary/organiser thingie (bursting at the seams)
Acupuncture needles
Purse
Ancient tissues
Valium (I get migraines ok?)
Chewing gum
Lip balm
Make up - mascara, eyebrow pencil, eyeliner, lip gloss, glitter...
Rescue remedy
Clary sage, lavender and geranium essential oils
Painkillers of various breeds
Jumper
Acupuncture and shiatsu notes (I'm due to be attending a birth soon)
Herbal tea bags
Mirror
Women's things
Glasses
Asthma inhaler
Toothbrush (you never know!)
Deodorant
Several useless bits of paper
Arnica cream, and calendula cream
Bindi's
Yunnan Baiyo (Chinese emergency medicine)
Earplugs
Anti-histamines
Scissors
Tweezers
Penknife
Plasters
Crystals
Camera

think I need a bit of a clear out...I used to get called Mum by my ex husband and his mates when we were on holiday as I had everything that they could possibly need in my bag - be it scissors, stamps, sun block, pen, plasters whatever.....

yeah, but isn't it great when you have everything you need in your bag.

I've now squashed my make-up bag in there, because I was looking for a plaster yesterday and I realised my really important stuff is in the little red velvet bag. Including my emergency loo money (which is sadly out of date, consisting as it does of 2 10pfg coins and 1 50pfg coin)

Thanks for the Wetwipe, btw. Rude of me not to have thanked you before.

Having passed through the bag phases of student, young mum (see Anna's list), kids out of nappies (spare pants, wipes and plastic bags) I have downsized considerably. My aim is to have the smallest bag possible and in order to manage this I also opt for the smallest versions of the contents.

In the job I have had for 2 years, there was no need for a handbag. No need to touch up make up, as there was no point wearing any. So my current bag is as unlike a handbag as I could get manage to find. It is purple and made from hemp.

pewter coelecanth on a keyring hanging from a D ring on the side of the bag.
purple key ring clipped to the strap. (which should be hung up really and is not always on the bag). Car key, steering lock key and a purple mini maglite.
mobile phone in a mobile phone shaped pocket on the outside of the bag.
another pocket on the outside of the bag containing a Parker fountain pen with a broad italic nib and a lip gloss thingie (pen shaped)
yet another pocket on the outside contains: a ticket stub for Minority Report; the "What's on" guide for the cinema; a list of who didn't return their text book at the end of term; a small comb: a body wipe in a sachet (more expensive but won't dry up); a flyer for the local comedy club and the refund bit of a car park ticket.

Inside the bag:
small purse. 2 pockets. One pocket for bank cards etc and banknotes. One pocket for coins. The cards include my membership of the National Art Collections Fund. The etc includes a stamp book - 10 left. There is a spare door key on the loop of the purse and a safety pin on the zip. Also attached is a tiny screwdriver for tightening loose glasses.
a map of Guildford. I don't always have a map of Guildford, but I do always have a map of somewhere. I'm just about to replace it with a sketch map of a place I need to find tomorrow.
piece of card with notes for the leaving speech I wasn't asked to give. Hmmmm....
a small, blank, piece of lined paper.
tiny nail clippers. Multi purpose and very useful indeed. To clip a broken nail, file one that has snagged, to cut anything and everything, to poke anything and everything.
5ml tube of moisturiser. I refill it, as it is so tiny.
2ml tube of foundation which I also refill for the same reason.
tiny powder compact. Boots 17 T Zone Controller - with small mirror in the lid (check it out FABT! £3)
2 coproximal tablets.
stub of black kohl pencil (takes up less room in bag).
spare black ink cartridge for the pen.
piece of glass from the headlight of a car that I was driving when I was involved in a serious accident a few years ago.
keys to my office which are labelled ready to leave behind for the next person - when I have cleared it all out.
ad torn from the Guardian about a tiny digital camera that is the size of half a credit card (appearing in this handbag soon).
several paperclips and safety pins. Multipurpose.

There's usually some IOU's in my bag. Sunshine and Moonlight believe that since they've been educated like royalty they don't need to carry money. This doesn't stop them spending of course. I can't carry their purses due to my small bag policy, and they won't carry bags due to their belief that handbags aren't "cool". So I end up lending them money for shopping. We seem to be all square at the monent.
Sometimes I also have a teeny weeny radio and headphones but not today.

Coelacanth that is a great idea of refilling those tiny tubes, but how do you do it?

so, do you reakon it's cheeper to buy makeup with a mirror in the lid than it is to buy a mirror?

...

wallet (contents: about $20, odd change, uni ID, old HS ID, library card, business card from fluteworld, old deposit slips, old work permit, a few reciepts, paperclip, two credit cards/ATM cards, insurance card, social security card, expired driver's permit, telephone authorization code for uni, phone card, gift card with 50 cents on it, discount card at bookstore)
keys (on chain:ID holder, celtic knot keyring, "tune it or die" keybring, keyring from the MTMA (Manheim Township Music Association) at school, "just visiting this planet" keyring, "class of 2001" keyring, snaffle bit keyring, discount key cards for Kroger and Food Lion, car key, house key, shed key)
sunglasses (need cleaning)
cell phone
check book
notepad
pen
two cough drops
notes on things in NYC (Shea/TJ's phone number, which trains to take, etc)
MetroCard
Traincard for the Hudson Line
train ticket from Patchague to GCT
two train ticket stubs from Amtrak
two movie ticket stubs