h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Now "Bob-Slay" is an event I might watch...

I can't even think of curling without thinking of the Beatles...

I heard one of the Norwegian royalty flew to SLC for the Special Olympics. She had a fear of flying so severe she had to take her personal 'fear of flying' therapist along... Which is probably how she qualified...

Bob-Slay with the Bob from Becker...

Mixing up Austria with Australia? Well, how would you characterize people who think Sweden and Switzerland are one and the same? And yes, it has happened to me, personally... (I live in Sweden)

Desperately trying to explain using Volvo and Björn Borg and ABBA and...

...NOT Alps, NOT cuckoo clocks, NOT yodelling...

Yeah, well, me and the spousal unit were looking at a wall map of the world last night. She asked me where Norway was and I pointed it out for her. She said, I swear,"Oh. It's above Africa!"
Whole possible paragraphs of reply flashed though my mind in seconds, but what I said was,"Um, true..."

When my roommate wanted to go to Australia I asked her who she had bought the flight ticket from. She said "Austria Airlines", which made me a bit suspicious.

One of the funniest conversations I've ever had involved this particular dilemma (Austria v. Australia).

Drunken Oz (A)staggered up to a sober Ekki(B) & friend (C) and deemed it necessary to instigate the following conversation:

A: Are those R.M. Williams? *points at B's shoes*
B: No they're not. Are those? *points at A's shoes*
A: No.
C: Where are you from?
A: Australia
B: Aaaah, Vienna.
A: Sorry?
B: I said "Aaaah, Vienna"
A: No, no, no. Australia - Kangaroos.
C: There aren't any Kangaroos in Vienna ...

At this point our drunken Oz friend took a turn for the worse and dived towards the gents which was a pity as it was just getting interesting!

people give their shoes NAMES?

and call them after ex-Take That members???


*looks at sandals to decide which one wants to be Gary Barlow*

I've called both of mine Jason Orange - I don't think he gets enough coverage ... such a nice chap as well

do they not need to be different names? otherwise you wouldn't know which one goes on what foot?

I think my right one wants to be J from 5ive, while the left one fancies being H from Steps. They are telling me they didnt like Take That and NO WAY are either of them gonna be Gary Barlow. They also like short snappy names. Letters, in fact.

I call mine left and right, but I'm irredeemably dull in these matters.

No, you're a genius!
You can call them?
And here I've been going across the house to get them for years...

Straying back on topic, I'd characterize such a person as an elbowhole.

Que?

I don't know if Mycroft's response (which had me in stitches - thanks Mycroft! ) translates for Americans, tonsil. If somebody was the sort of person who didn't know Australia from Austria, a Brit may well say they didn't know their arse (ass) from their elbow. Somebody may well have done so in the backlog. I guess from your reply that you don't use that expression.

I tend to favour the expression, 'he couldn't find his arse in the dark with both hands', but then of course the joke doesn't work. It's a good insult though, I feel.

Ahhh!

Ahhh so!

~j~

I did think of including a translation for the transatlantics, but the nearest equivalent I could come up with was the slightly disappointing Shinolahead.

That's okay. I like being confused by the unfamiliar...
Besides I have to translate as I talk all the time around here.
The complete sentences throw them, so I have to truncate.
S'up?
You?
S'O.K.
S'right!
Yup.
Bye.
S'ya.

Hmm. 'Bout the same as I'd characterise someone who doesn't know the difference between neutrons and neutrinos...

Just 'cause someone is fairly ignorant of one area of knowledge is no reason to insult 'em... after all, what with the sheer amount of knowledge sloshing around these days, we're all fairly ignorant of hundreds and hundreds of areas of human endeavour