h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

What about when it's cloudy? And it will be, you know. Murphy sez so.

Er, it is.

Simulpost.
If it's cloudy then (to mix subjects) it's sarong night for it

*points to pun of the day thread

No no m'dear if the pun is out y'canna see the stars. You can only see the stars when the pun goes down, and the tide goes out, and the people gather round and they all begin to shout, "Hey now Uncle Fudd, It's a treat to beat yer feet on de Mississippi mud!"

Looneytoons 'hang up' may well have been an obscure reference to the "Southern Cross" which the antipodeans use much the same way we northern types (podeans?) use the big and little dippers to orient the North Star. Froggie!

The degree of variance between Polar North, stellar north and magnetic north is a matter of much conjecture the farther 'north' you go. There comes a point when magnetic north is actually quite south of the other two.

pax gravitas (peace thru gravity)
~jwf~

In New Zealand and Australian eyes, The British are the antipodeans.

But do they like being in the same sentence together?

Its like being in a family. Little sister often gives big brother a hard time

I once saw the Northern Lights from Somerset. Believe it or not.

I've only just found this thread and haven't read all of it. I did read the first 20 postings, though, and my comment comes out of one of those. I apologise if the comment has already been made.

Way back, people mentioned that the US is south of England and London is closer to Moscow than Auckland is to Sydney. Well, there was a British car company (Land Rover, I think) that needed to get some parts to somebody who was stranded in North Africa - Northern Sahara region, I think. They got in touch with their *South* African people (their main base in Africa) and asked them to deliver the parts. The response came back, 'Why don't you deliver them? You're closer than we are!' A lot of people just don't realise how long Africa is.

As for the problems the Americans seem to have with geography, I could post a few amusing things they have said / asked about their own country. However, I've done that in the past and been accused of 'Yank-bashing', in spite of the fact that the original comments were provided by *American* travel agents!

Try us, we'll be kind.

Oh, yes, please do, the best Yank-bashers in the world are other yanks! And I'm running out of ammunition!

OK then. Here are some that I can remember. If I can find the original e-mail, I'll post some more.

A man phoned his travel agent to complain that his hotel room in Orlando, Florida, didn't have a sea view. When the travel agent pointed out that Orlando is inland, he replied, 'Don't give me that, lady. I've looked at the map and Florida is a very narrow state!'

A woman phoned a travel agent and asked to book a flight to Hippopotamus, New York. The travel agent had never heard of a town called Hippopotamus, and told the woman that they'd have to check. After some time the travel agent phoned the woman and asked, 'Did you mean Buffalo, New York?' The response was, 'Well, I knew it was some kind of large animal.'

A woman phoned a travel agent and wanted to book a room in a particular hotel in Los Angeles. The travel agent couldn't find any reference to that hotel in L.A., and asked for the address of the hotel. The woman read out the address, ending 'New Orleans, La' (that's Louisiana, if you didn't know). It seemed that the woman thought that New Orleans was a suburb of Los Angeles! (I have to admit that, before reading this, I couldn't have told you what state New Orleans is in. However, I did know that it wasn't a suburb of L.A.)

A young woman wanted to travel to 'Pepsi-Cola' on a 'computer flight'. When asked if she meant Pensacola on a commuter flight she said, 'Yeah. Whatever.'

A man wanted to know if he would be able to see Britain from his hotel room in Canada. When told it would not be possible, he replied, 'Well, they look close on the map'.

And here's one so the Americans can laugh at us, although it's not geographical. Some nurses were taking part in a general knowledge quiz. One nurse was asked, 'The Statue of Liberty holds a tablet in one hand. What does she hold in the other?' After thinking for a while, the nurse tentatively said, 'A glass of water?'


I'm just stepping out to find that e-mail. I may be gone some time.

very vaguely on-topic but I was once told that you could orient yourself using the TV Satelite dishes on the side of houses. Apparently the satelites they point at are in geostationary orbit above the equator hence the dishes in the northern hemisphere point south and those south point north. Presumably this gets harder the nearer you are to the equator

Anyone know if this is true or not?

yes they generally point in the same direction, but I am not sure if different companies have thier own satellites so whether this holds true in different countries i don't know.

Yeah, TV satellites are probably all hovering above Equator. So it should be possible. Also for the different companies.

Although I have to admit that the thought does occur to me after all that, that if one were lost and disoriented in a built up area then there may *just* be easier means of locating ones exit than finding a house with a satelite dish on it. Or is that just being far too sensible?

You could always ask someone. But that might not wokr either. Besides, I don't think this was supposed to be useful. Any decent astronomner knows that since the full moon always hover over Hollywood, you just use that to navigate.

Aye, and if you are lost far from civilisation (ie more than 2 miles outside any major connurbation) then you will always find an old pub with a sinistter old bloke in it to tell you the right way to go home.

Watch out if he plays a banjo tho'

On the subject of confused identities (no, we were, honest!) why is it that us lot here in Ingerland persist in refering to any USAians (in deference to the 'USA is not America' post earlier, what is the name for citizens of the USA?) as Yanks, regardless of whereabouts in the States they are from?

If he was American, I'd probably call him "Mister President"...

My best guess, though, is that they were a bad typist who always took the spellchecker's first suggestion without really looking at it. Technology, ain't it wonderful...

(And I read *all* the backlog, just to check that nobody had already done the "Mister President" joke... )