h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Is "Bob" the true/secret name of nighthoover or are you worshipping false idols?

congratulations!

Nighthoover smiles upon thee

I think Bob is just a nickname

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Praise be Bob is the one true Bob nighthoover is the prophet all is hooverable and nighthooverly and nighthooverly n
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*apologises profusely for not reading back log, but there is an awful lot...*

If you refute your unnighthooverly and unnighthooverable ways and adopt the straight path, from the wicket gate to nighthooverability and nighthooverlyness, bereft of your unnighthooverly ways of the unenlightened past unnighthooverlyness that all have suffered through ignorance of the one true prophet nighthoover, then enlightenment in nighthooverlyness and nighthooverability will make thy nighthooverly and nighthooverable in all eyes, including those of the great prophet, the mighty one nighthoover. Once these unnighthooverly ways have been forgotten and ignored, blesid and wonderful be the straight path that you take, neither looking to the left nor the right in persuit of true nighthooverly intentions:
for desalation and despair awaits all those that stray from the path of nighthooverly and nighthooverable intentions;
turneth to dust the man that strays, foresaking the straight correct path of nighthooverability for the wanton persuit of pleasure in the unnighthooverly, be not coersed by those that cry, from the edge of the path, for though they say
'come hither, much worldly things of joy and pleasure await on this side of your path lone traveler',
they indeed talketh the words of the unnighhtooverly, for such have no nighthooverly intentions and will only corupt and draw you from the way that leads to true nighthooverability and the arms and hoover of the prophet.
Be not taunted nor tempted by the unnighthooverable man, nor the man, that, in untruths intamates that the nighthooverly path be anything but the straight, nighthooverable path that we must take to relenquish our hooversins and find nighthooverability at the end of the path:
For though the path seems trecherous, and unnighthooverly at parts, and though such can tempt the uncommitted to draw off the path in answer to the unighthooverly calls of the unnighthooverable, whence they call;
'come, loneley traveler, ease thy burden and come hither, for here is great jolity and pleasure, and your path seems dangerous, but fear not the path and instead take to our jolity and reverence',
for surely, as the hoover be our instrament, such persons reveal their unnighthooverability through not only their words but their actions.
Come child, follow the path, reveal the nighthooverlyness and nighthooverability that lays within each and every of 'hoovers children', and follow the way of the nighthoover, follow the hooverly and nighthooverly ways and find in thy struggles and tribulations true nighthooverability and everlasting nighthooverlyness in the suction of our prophet n
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(You forgot to mention Nighthooverishness...)

I couldn't find "nighthoovering" either. Is there an approved prefix and suffix list?

There is. But it was lost behind the sofa.

nighthooverishness as nighthooverability and nighthooverlyness comes from ones nighthooverable and nighthooverly actions when nighthooverment and nighthooverence of the nighthooverly and nighthooverable actions reaches true nighthooverenlightment Behind the sofa? Anyone 'nighthoovered' in here recently, it looks awfully dusty behind there

Well I hoover nightly but nighthoovers not here.
every time I come here I bring a feather duster

and a canister of polish
which I wave around like I am actually doing something....
and nobody notices.
it is in need of a good clean
this shrine

this temple.
has anyone any idea how the rights to night hoovering here can be obtained?
every corner to be cleaned

no stone unpolished
in reverence the privileged
go cleaning the shrine to nighthoover
hoping in their souls
that the great and mighty nighthoover
has in his most nighthooverlyness considered their subjects unworthy
offerings
only hoping that
very very soon
everyone is saved as nighthoover
returns.

*checks the time...
'hmm, twenty minutes past middnight, the time is neigh'
*brings out shiney wonderous hoover and begins nighthoovering

Now is the time to pray for the return of Nighthoover

Help - I'm being stalked by a genetically engineered salad !














Lettuce Prey...

I, humble follower of the great Nighhoover, prophet of the One True Bob, hereby proclaim my past wickedness as unnighthooverly, and hoover my soul in the dark hours to rid it of its unholy fluff.

If that unholy fluff's going spare, can I have it to stuff this "creature-of-the-night" bunny toy, please?

Didn't your Bun-Bun toy come from Sluggy already stuffed.