h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Oops, I forgot to mention that there is no known cause for my depression, however there is a family history which I won't go into so suspect there will be no permanent cure as such. I am having a thyroid and general blood test for other organs but suspect tests will find nothing organic causing problems. Thyroid problems could cause all my symptoms .

Hello there SS,i hope you're feeling a lot better by now.We haven't chatted really,but i lurk on Websailors thread most of the timeI have suffered bouts of depression for a long time,and i know how you must feel.i am either wanting to do lots of housework(which i cant do),or want to sit and can't be bothered,but apparently both are symptomes of anxiety and depression.Propranolol are excellent,i have taken them for about ten years now,it could even be longer,but i try not to dwell onn the medication i take,as long as it works !!!!Drop bt my space if you feel like a chat,i pop in during the day ,so i'm sure to get anything you post fairly quickly.Try not to worry,the coughing thing will subside,its just unpleasant.
it might help you to write down how you're feeling,so that when you're down you can refer back ,and see if there's anything in particular that's causing you to feel more anxious.

Thanks smurfles for post!
To be honest at moment I am sick of fighting it all and might take some of the time off work the doctor offered a while ago. The bad depression was copable but with the extreme anxiety as well it is too much. I didn't want to take time off work sick as a stability in my life but bouncing limbs are a bit much, lol!
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I don't know what a nervous breakdown is but I reckon too much more of this would be called one as my nervous system does seem a bit out of control, I will have to wait and see what the new meds, Pregabaline, are like as doctor stopped the Propranolol. I have another appointment Monday so see how I am then.

take the time off work SS,but don't sit around and do nothing.You need something to focus your mind on,maybe a project you've been putting off??I find that coming in here and chatting makes me feel better,i hope the meds work well for you.Your body is obviously reacting to stress i would say,but if i'm having a bad bout i always tell myself i got over the last one,so i know it'll pass.I'm around if you want to chat.

Thanks smurfles, if I take time off I will go birdwatching which is easy to do, out doors and I love it!
Today I woke up depressed and anxious fairly badly however I have a sore throat and slight cold which will increase my depression as usually does. My new meds, pregabalin, kicked in about half an hour ago so I am nicely kind of stoned at moment. The meds info sheet used the word 'high' as a possible side effect which to be honest I am glad about as does feel better than alternative. For first 3 days I am on 50mg 3 times daily, tomorrow I am on 100mg 3 times daily so should really start working then or I will be high as a kite with bouncing arms,lol. Sorry I shouldn't laugh about it. Well actually I should. When I was with doctor he said meds are also used for assorted things including stopping seizures and I joked that I already look like I am having seizures the way my arms are bouncing up and down! Not that seizures are funny of course, I have seen others have so many I know the effects it has on peoples lives.

Hi, SS,

Perhaps when you have been on the meds for a while it will stabilise. I do hope so as it must be very tiring apart from anything else.

I can recommend wildlife and walking - 'communing with nature' is the expression, if you can do it, and I agree with Smurfles a spell off work might help, but get out and about with wildlife, or you might sink further.

It is so easy to sit and do nothing, but along with that comes a conscience I think, knowing you should be up and doing things, which makes it worse. There is a huge difference between having a much needed rest and sinking in to a depressive hole. Fresh air and exercise is brilliant medicine if you can do it, and I think in the modern world only those who work outside get enough.

Stuck in one place all day, artificial light, fixed hours and overwork all contribute and if there is a hereditary link as well ait must be really difficult. I don't know what you do for a living but if your has offered it, I would take it while we have some summer left!!!

I am so glad you chat on my thread, and have your own too. Like Smurfles, I find hoo too cheers me up, and we help each other, so don't feel isolated.

Websailor

Thank you WS, you are so right about getting out in the sunshine and fresh air. I just went out birdwatching and despite falling over due to meds making me not pay attention, lol, it was a lovely hour or so! You maybe right about taking some time of work as in theory this and last week are supposed to be my summer holiday and it hasn't really been that relaxing!

I know many of you here have it worse than me, but here's my :

I have never been VERY ill other than a phase of whooping cough at the age of 13. By the time they realised what it was, I got over it myself but it went on for months.
I was very healthy all my life, if a bit anaemic. I got pregnant with my first child in 2004 and went on to have my daughter in 2006. I was employed at that point, and after 6 months went back to work when she was just under 6 months old. I was a bit weepy for the first week or two, and definitely tired, but was told it's my hormones settling (stopped breastfeeding when she went to nursery) and I should be fine. She turned 12 months and I was still tired, short-tempered, had fits of vertigo and dizziness followed by nausea. All my blood tests were normal and I never got really ill. Then last year, in June, I started some excercises to help control the vertigo. I got a really bad migraine while at work and it was alleged I went to sleep in work which led to disciplinary. I went to see my GP again and he sent me to a Chronic Fatigue specialist, who diagnosed me.
I resent it still. I have good days when I think he had no idea what he was saying, but then I get tired and get muscle pains and dizziness and my eyes just shut and I realise he was right. My own family (parents) don't believe me. My husband has to take care of me and the kids, which I find infuriating. I don't have as much control over my life as I used to have.
How do I cope? I push it to the back of my mind and carry on. I'm going to university this september for a full-time teaching course. I just go a day at a time and try to budget my energy and learn when to stop and rest. I'm not very good with it yet, but I'm getting there...

It sounds very difficult for you Elly. I find I have to priorities things to worry about sometimes into a mental list. At the top has to be about people and the bottom things that in ten years time you won't even remember. It helps me to disregard things of no importance and focus on important things to be concerned about.
I read somewhere once that only one in ten of things you worry about happening ever happen, which again helps to get things in proportion.
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It must be wonderful to be doing a college course and hope it goes well for you. I envy you!

Oops, sorry Elly you said Uni not college.
I really can blame it on the tablets and shall continue to do so for every mistake I ever make for the rest of my life!

Strewth, this is a weird day medication wise!
In the morning I was down and anxious, I went out and got a bit of over breathing now I am buzzing and could run a million miles!!
I suspect this is the 'high', their words, in medication info slip for Pregabalin. If it was like this all the time I would be dancing in the streets, lol!
I think this is the canabis of the depression and anxiety world!

Woah! Slow down SS, before you do yourself a mischief I am sure it will settle down, eventually. I hope it doesn't make you too confident though, as that can be as big a problem. I hope you wind down enough to sleep tonight

I think I could do with some of that. I am shattered and aching all over from a very belated spring clean, and I haven't finished yet. I have so many things I would rather be doing, but my conscience gets in the way.

Websailor

It's ok, it wasn't so much a wanting to run the world thing as it bought, the meds high, a greater appreciation of bird song, flowers, even walking on the dirt felt more interesting! I also felt I actually wanted someone to come in the garden to talk to them rather than my normal wanting people not to come into garden as wanted to be alone. It was definitely an altered and improved mind state caused by the Pregabaline and I felt it when the mood lessend a few hours later. Hopefully if the new meds start properly and continue to go well they might work well with the Sertraline antidepressant. It will be interesting to observe any changes in my self and mood. It was interesting to observe earlier that the medication effect almost forced me to go outside and enjoy the sunshine, not in a bad way but in a positive 'This will be good for me." way. To be frank I was really just doing what everybody else does who doesn't have the rubberband that is depression and anxiety that drags me indoors if I attempt to go out on occassions.

SS, I really hope the new stuff helps. I am sure it will.



Websailor

Hi SS I've been taking sertraline for a couple of years now (actually been taking anti-depressants for last 10 years)
Sadly for me I never feel like I could run a marathon, I don't have many highs or much energy, and I can struggle with daily living. But as I am the youngest member of a large disfunctional family there are always triggers
But I am much better than I was 10 years ago and better still than I was 5 years ago
So hopefully you'll be feeling better too soon
Depression is so debilitating, I feel it has been part of my life since I was a child. It has stopped me in my tracks many times, and has badly effected my self esteem, and I have sacrificed alot, and lived in fear, it has been very hard to live with
A few years ago I started to try and write about it I was going to call the book 'Waiting to die'
Sorry for sounding so dramatic but depression is an illness that does seem to hang around
But you can learn how to take control of it, you have to keep taking the medication, try and to do some accepting, spend your energy on things you enjoy, AND you must be kind to yourself and try to be happy
I went to see a counsellor for five years and that really helped, just knowing that person understands and doesn't judge you
Talking about how you feel to others that understand is good too, it makes you realise you're not the only one
I'm a very compassionate person, this could be due to suffering with depression, you sound like you are too, and that can be a attractive quality admired by others
Take good care and stay positive

Sorry,
and that can be 'an' attractive quality admired by others

Thanks jutimskip for post.
Acceptance is something that happened only recently. I had not told ANYONE that I was depressed until an ambulance was called to my doctors for me when I was having breathing problems. I told the person who called ambulance I was depressed and the ambulance man noticed I was very agitated and talked to me gently for what must have been at least half an hour.
I realised that what he was doing was trying to coax me to admit I had a problem and needed help as anxiety was causing breathing problems and not a physical thing.
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There is a catch 22 problem with depression, and this applied to me, the problem is you know you need help but the depression stops you from getting help as it means talking to doctors, etc and the fuss you don't want. And God I have seen more doctors in last couple of months than my whole life!
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You are right about treating yourself sometimes and putting you first. If I take time off sick it will be me just not worrying about getting warnings for time of sick. I am not certain but think mental illness is covered by disability discrimination now so to sack me would be wrong.

I have high hopes for the Sertraline as don't seem to be side effects now, except I think one of the known side effects is dream disturbance and can cause halucinations upon waking for some which is happening to me, and quite disturbing ones, however I also understand that Propranolol can cause the same problem too but since doctor stopped it on Monday I expect an improvement in that area.

I know from my place of work (lots of tutors becoming ill through stress and taking time off)that your employer must be very careful about contacting you (and adding more pressure). So you should be able to take some time off work (with the support of your GP) and allow yourself time and space to get used to the new medications
You must remember it takes alot of courage to put yourself out there, It took me till I was in my 30's before I could share with others (outside my close family)
Now I don't care because I know I'm not alone and I now see it as an illness (not my fault, didn't choose to have it)
I was first prescribed anti-depressants 22 years ago (I used to get them from my GP and stash them, I was very afraid of them)
In the end I thought I had to give them a go to see if they would help me cope, now I don't care if I have to stay on them for life, as long as they enable me to have a life
SS please remember to be kind to yourself

Jutimskip, you are so right about the first step being the hardest. Telling the ambulance man and doctors was such a relief and I realised that I should have got help 5 years ago!
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I suspect that telling work will be inevitable as if it carries one like last few months then a doctor's certificate will be needed so my condition will have to be revealed. If the sever anxiety hadn't raised its ugly head I expect I would have hidden and carried on with bad depression for ever without help.
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And you make sure you treat yourself well too! We both need it!

Thanks SS