h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Wait, you can SEE me? *gasp*



Its alright, I didnt feel offended or anything

Actually, I have lots of teddies I could chuck, but I'd rather cuddle them because its so ing cold!

Likewise. Instead I have to go out and clear my shed. I can't get in the door at present which is not a good idea with winter coming. My husband keeps ticking me off, but that's because he can't do it himself - mostly..

It certainly is cold. It is a bit of a shock after such mild weather.

Glad you weren't miffed

Websailor

Hiya Jack, hiya Jack's teddy. You will have to excuse us post-menopausal maidens; honestly; you should feel glad that you didn't have at least 20 years of thinking you were dying every month; it does tend to slightly affect both body image & brain cells.

Right kiddies, some positive stuff. It has officially been declared Winter & 30 odd (some very odd) plants have been brought in from outside;we are talking Large pots & 9ft avocado stuff. There is now a jungle in the corner which Spielberg & co may wish to hire for a set. This is a major, major, massive exercise, which i had been dreading. No way on earth can failed marmalade hunters sort this.

So massive please for viking; could not have done it without him. I could have done without the "helpful" suggestions as to what goes where *but* i hate to admit, most of them were actually quite sensible; it's just we have different ways of going about these things. Sample speech:

V: That poor thing should go there; look; she want sunshine; under her the yellow thing, i want the yellow thing. And Eric"

*Eric = all spider plants.

T: No, sod off, that is entirely the wrong place; if i need your help; i will rattle your cage.

V: WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!

T: what on earth is the matter?

V: There is a

T: Oh for gawds sake!!!! I will move him.

V: No, your legs are not good for stools (!) i will find him; then you make him go in a box, you tell me if he is right or left outside. He is too big, He is not good in the house; he gives me big spots, he makes my hair fall out. I have a hole in my head now from this animal; i am Samson; i will lose my virility.

*Oh, honestly, how could you not love this man; it is like having ancient BBC comedy in your living room.

At least we don't have arachnophobia; life could be a lot worse. Honestly, a french, arachnophobic,obsessive/compulsive, neurotic,oh just name any damn phobia you like...plus he is now getting dodgy knee/back/hip stuff....er, tell us about it! "It's called being 53 dear!"

"Merde! i think i have a bald patch!"

"Try chemo; then start worrying. Shut up & shift that plant"

zdt*actually; i am very fond of him; but sometimes you just think Our physical stuff is somehow different. I suppose most of the world will never know, but actually, thank goodness for that.

Totally at random but relevant to this thread:

I'm currently going through a phase of being encouraged to whinge about painful achey and annoying things. I'm not very good at it I feel extremely english and silly in this sense. And there isnt much reason or point to this post. Perhaps just wondering if I'm the only one and everyone else quickly gew out of it? Someone I feel like whinging makes it a problem for everyone else to, when really its my problem and I should be the one dealing with it. And maybe a touch of guilt. And not wanting to look like I'm fishing for pity.

When I first started suffering I decended into wingeing self pity. My other half ignored it and poked fun at me from time to time.

I soon learned to shut up and get on with things. My other half then became sympathetic when it was apparent that I was really suffering.

I am stiocal these days. It is basically my problem to live with and I only winge at my specialist when I am suffering now.

Being English rocks!! (back and forth in a psychotic funk, usually!!)

turvy

That would be stoical there...


Preview, fool

Personally, i reckon it's perfectly fine & indeed healthy, to have a good old rant & scream occasionally. Especially when "The System" seems to be letting you down.

What i think doesn't help is to really go the self-pity route continually, because A) it does no bloody good whatsoever B) It tends to become a self fulfilling prophecy & C) people just don't know how to handle it.

If you say something specific like "my bleeding legs are dying from the feet up, this is a total pisser 'cos i can't hobble to the pub any more" or whatever; there is something for other folks to latch onto & comment upon. Whereas "oh gawd, i feel so down" stuff is difficult without more details of why someone feels down.

Just my ten pennorth, what do the rest of you think?

zdt

Peronsally I just blame how pissed I am on my blindness.... a complete lie anyhow obviously.... but it ocasionally gets the police moving along

Aaatishoo!

*finds hanky*

*blows nose*


Crivvens! This thread is rather dusty!

I thought I'd share my recent experiences of living with a partner with a crippling illness.

As some of you may be aware, my partner has MS. In the past few weeks this seems to have got worse. On Christmas day we *nearly* did a two-man toboggan down the stairs (minus the tin tray ) I was in front and hubby slipped several steps down (he hadn't had a drop to drink, honest ofisher). He broke the shoe rack at the bottom (it's still there, broken ). His legs just gave way beneath him and even though he was holding onto the two hand-rails, he just couldn't stop. His legs have weakened since then. He's walking like he's left his horse behind somewhere.

Last week, the same thing happened (again minus the tin tray and this time without me in front) It's severely knocked him back, he's getting rather depressed about it, particularly as he's always said he'd not going to let it get him down and refuses to end up in a wheelchair. I'm not letting him do *anything* at the minute (thankfully, he's hasn't had to, nor will have to for at least a week, go and attend to his clingy, needy mum - she's staying with another relative for the next week <reliefsmiley&gt

Can anybody recommend any course of action I can take to try and stop the daft buggar from doing unnecessary work? Who gives a flying if the house looks a bit untidy, or we have half washing basket of dirty clothes for an extra day? I don't, lazy buggar that I am, I only work 3.5 hours a day in two different jobs, but I keep coming home and finding that he's *done* something that I expressly told him not to I know he's pissed at not having the same mobility he had a few weeks ago - I understand that, and it will pass, eventually (hopefully) but I've ordered him to rest - I can do everything else.

I'd advice you *not to order him not to do anything - it annoys the flying f**k out of me when I get bossed around telling me *not to do things; I do it, whether I ought to or not (and then I have to bite my lip not to whinge when it hurts, or I physically can't because that gives my sons the ammo to say "I told you so"

I *know the lads mean well when they tell me this... but it takes time to come to terms with a bit less mobility each time. I haven't got MS, but I *am getting slowly but surely less "able"

Best bet is to keep schtum, reassure, and rant like beggery privately. It's just as frustrating for you as it is for him. The difference is, I guess, you don't mind helping, but he probably does mind (at the moment)

It's all a matter of pride really. Eventually accepting help becomes OK, but getting there involves a lot of trying, trying, failing, loss of confidence, building it up and *then accepting the help, generally speaking.

I'd write more about it, but I'm embarking on some pain relief, atm, which involves a fair amount of alcohol; it doesn't stop the brain functioning, but it plays merry hell with writing thoughts co herantly.

I know that nagging the buggar is not *really* the best thing to do but I need him to rest, and he knows that he should be that's why he says to me 'I know you're not going to be happy, but...' He's a frelling swine and it's not just me telling him. When he has these 'flare-ups' he tries too hard to get over them quickly when he can just...wait

I can't *order* him to do anything. He'll just carry on in his own sweet way, I suppose I'll just have to do it first.

I'm not telling anybody here (or elsewhere - like on the phone to his mate earlier) that I won't tell him to his face. I know there's pride involved but when you see the pain in his face, you have to do something more...

I hope your pain relief is working, Evadne.

'nother

Oh and btw, you can be as incoherant as you like - I usually am too

One thing is to have a family or friends that are there for you that can help keep your spirits up .1 Do not sit and look at the four walls etc 2 get know your limts and don't push to hard 3 dont be ashamed too ask for help 4 have a sence of humour .

Stairs are (literally!) an absolute pain with conditions like this. I try & avoid possibilities of the "no tin tray" syndrome by reducing the number of times i go up & down: obviously i need to for the loo. I try & have a bag/ small box on the botom step with stuff that needs to go up & another at the top with stuff that needs to go down so killing two birds with one stone. However, you do have to get "trained into" that, my new fiend has a fairly major problem with his foot & did the "tin tray" trick the other day 'cos i had hung a small bag on the door handle "You are trying to make me break my foot?!!!

"No, i am trying to use both our visits upstairs more efficiently: look before you leap, always put the light on, hold the banister & if it's a "bad leg day, do "baby steps"."

The pride thing *is* essential, it has to be combined with gradually coming to terms with your own limitations & working out a way to deal with flare ups. I've just had 8 extra people staying in my tiny house for 4 days, whilst they were here, i was buzzing around, cooking etc, but (despite only having met them online) they all knew i have a problem & basically, if i wanted help, i asked directly for it, if i could do it myself, i preferred to do so. My new RL fiend kept saying "you're really stressed, slow down!" which really annoyed me; it's stress, yes, but it was "good" stress & i was prepared for the inevitable backlash; still going through it: i need at least 24 hours of decent sleep, extra heating, no visitors, quiet & calm.

Nonetheless, i've had flare up of tummy stuff, nosebleeds, raging muscle spasms etc...which i expected. The new fiend helped out by getting in essential shopping (including lovely fat English newspapers!) & massaging my shoulders, then thankfully went back to his place & left me alone.

It *might* help if you actually work out together the sort of jobs that your partner can do without it causing extra problems; very individual; like i am fine at standing up for ages, washing dishes, cooking etc, but can't do bending down stuff, hauling the hoover around wipes me out, i can't now even get into lower shelf cupboards...one thing i found helped is i got a lightweight plastic stool & a torch, so anything a "normal" person would squat or kneel for, i just plonk down on the stool, so long as i remember to place it where there's a firm surface i can grab onto to get back up again. Maybe there's something you really hate, like ironing, that he could do, sitting on a high stool or lowering the ironing board?

I understand his feelings about a wheelchair; it seems like such an admission of defeat & of course people see the wheelchair first, not the person in it. I refuse to even use canes. However, i have recently made the compromise of getting a delivery service to bring my monthly shopping, that damn hill is now just totally beyond me when carrying heavy bags (& if anyone can tell me how to carry heavy shopping AND use a cane or canes, without falling over on wet cobbled streets???)Rucksacks are out of the question, my left side isn't capable of putting the damn thing on empty, let alone full & i'd have back pain for a week after!

zdt

How about getting a chair lift put in for help with stairs can you get help with funding one where you are . Or try for a house on the level .

Why not try coming to an agreement....he can do the washing up if he sits down for a certain amount of time when it's finished???The same with other jobs!!
That way he's still independant to an extent,but not over taxing himself!!!
It's really hard when you have to sit and do nothing,and that in itself is depressing..as well as being told what to do(or not in his case)!!
i hope he soon feels better!!

It's hopefully not going to be permanent (although there may be some residual effects). Thankfully, he does seem to be taking my advice at the moment, until he gets bored that is. I think because he's had two tumbles close together that he has a feeling it may be something more. I think it's more likely that *I* was not doing enough. That will not happen again.

As for getting a chair lift, s...he'd rather I carried him firefighter style There's *no* way that's going to happen any time soon...that would be giving up to him and he aint giving up.

bump

My depression has now become a life effecting illness. I have had depression in a worsening amount for around 5 years with the last year being the worst with it ending up me not having baths for 3 days and wearing the same clothes if not going out for the same amount of time.
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Although clearly I was looking more and more depressed ans stoney faced it didn't stop me from working at all. However around 4 months ago I developed what I thought was a bad cough for a couple of months with coughing to retching. I eventually went to a walk in clinic and was misdiagnosed as having asthma, it was easily done as I displayed perfect asthma symptoms. I was given a ventolin enhaler and ended going to my doctor with really bad coughing and breathlessness so they called and ambulance!!
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The ambulance did an ECG and checks and said I was in good physical shape but the ambulance driver noticed I seemed quite jumpy and anxious. Anyway I didn't go to hospital but ambulance people booked me a double doctors appointment and I was told that anxiety was causing the type of symptoms that appeared asthma like but weren't. I was given Sertraline antidepressant which slowly started to work but had more anxiety type symptoms like eye twitching, breathing fast, pacing, etc, so was started on Propranolol an anxiety medication which worked for a week or so until this friday my left arm started to twitch and jump up and down for 10 mins and I was very anxious. I went to docs on monday and sat in waiting room for half an hour with both arms jumping and trembling with me looking like I was having seizures!
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The doctor said I had GAD, Generalised Anxiety Disorder, but in an extreme way so was given Pregabaline which presumably is a stronger anxiety medication. I was told it might make me feel drunk for a little while but said I would rather feel drunk and drowsy than this none stop sweating, heart racing, pacing up and down and limbs bouncing.
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I have already taken time off work with the bouts of coughing and retching and expect I will have to take more off if this bad anxiety is not reduced as can't work like this!

SS, I am so sorry you are feeling like this. You seemed so cheerful on your wildlife thread, and mine, and I hoped that perhaps you were feeling a bit better. Is there a reason(s) for your depression, or is it a depression that has no obvious cause?

I do hope the medication helps. It is horrible to feel like that. I have had a few mini bouts in my life, but usually with reasons, and never got any treatment. Wouldn't ask!

I have just been told that the badger and foxes have arrived SS, so I guess I better go offline soon, but will wait a bit in case you are still online.

Take care,

Websailor

Thanks for your post WS.
I am hoping the Sertraline will work. Aparantly it stops Seratonin in the brain leaving the brain too quickly and is thought to be the thing that increses happiness. I have high hopes it will work and keep me in a more happy state of mind. I am in a fairly good state of mind at moment concidering the severe anxiety but with a couple of down moments as would be expected.
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The new anxiety medication is said to be quite so am hopeful! I am having reduced arm trembling and breathing attacks since it started yesterday. The other anxiety medication said on label it can produce weird visions around sleeping and it did indeed produce halucinations so glad to change as made sleep a tense time when waking up and seeing parts of furniture comeing towards you like in cartoon was weird and scarey!