h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

True.

Although as a regular reader of New Scientist, I also read Bizarre, Loaded, and FHM from time to time...

Hey Xan, have you learned any malaysian to try chatting to them? NOT cheesy lines, but at least 'hello'?

Bob, do you mean you have never seen a malaysian female reading it or any female?

k - used to have a subscription...

Never any female, not that Im saying none do... One look at the letters page would rule that out.

I haven't really been trying to chat up malay girls yet. I had this idea that first I'd put on some weight, and then I'd start doing it. But after almost 3 months it's probably time to realize I'll stay this skinny.

Buy some bodybuilders crash weight gain...

I tried that, didn't do much difference. And you only get 80 grams or so per day. Imagine how long it would take before you gained any real weight.

Or better still, stop worrying about it, and learn a few words in Malay. Try hello, my malay is very bad, can you help me, what is the word for...

Think of all the pulling opportunities you might miss while you are waiting to get bigger


k

I just think the malay girls look at me as some freak.

Dont worry about it, English women see me as some kind of freak.

And do you have any luck?

Occasionally, but thats just my looks. They then get to know me.

Well, both physically and mentally I'm seen as a freak.

Then find the freaky women. Theres some very attractive ones out there and all. Although as far as I know they dont live in Malaysia.

But I want to go to a new years party here in Kuala Lumpur. And then maybe I will meet the right kind of girl. You know, very desperate and not particularly picky.

Or maybe I should head to Holland and see if I can get the Swedish girl from work to share a Swedish bathtub with me for new years.

*Hoping new years brings luck for the two of us*

Actually New Years just makes me think "Well, another year where I didn't get laid"

Looking for desperate girls is a common mistake. Girls you may think are desperate may not in fact be, and will be offended if they feel you're trying to pick them up because you have the impression that they are. Don't even go that route. Look for girls that excite you and like you back. Foreigners are freaks everywhere in the world, get used to it. Foreigners also get laid all over the world. The desire to mate with people outside our population is built into our DNA in order to keep variety in the gene pool. You must take advantage of this fact. Talk to everyone. Sooner or later, some girl will like you.

Well, spend the evening with a nice, friendly girl

I meant to say I spent the evening with a nice, friendly girl.

OooOOOooo tell us what happened!

by the way. Say, I want to buy a Xanatic for Christmas! You think it'll fit in *ahem* a stocking? *innocent *