h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Oh, and yeah, Il Viag *does* have a picture of me in the tub..a rather wierd looking and entirely innocent one at that.

Go ahead, tell everyone how awful I look *sniff*. I'll go find another round of buckets for the vomiting that will undoubtedly begin anew.

Feh.

Its twenty to 5 in the morning, I left the club for the 1/2 hr walk at 3? And I am on H2G2 when Im still drunk. How addicted am I?

To h2g2 or alcohol? Wish I could have a drink (and a toke) with you!

Both of course and a certain plant genus. Addictive personality, thats why I stay of the hard stuff.

And of course if you are ever in the mighty metropolis(pop. 400000) of Bristol, England, youu are welcome to join me in my intoxicated ramblings.

someday, my friend

There is a girl working at the hostel, she's been saying some things to me. But in Malaysian, so I have no idea what she's saying. But the way she's sayng it and acting makes me really want to know what it is. What do I do? I don't really know if she speaks any english.

Just assume she's saying the naughtiest things possible. It's not really necessary to speak a common tongue. THe language of love is univerasal.

Hey Il Viag wnose cnweog slgnw asfoiwaf asefwef iwej weoihrwoeir weoirjoiwjraweroijrweroijser?

See, I rest my case.

Bizarre! Am I going mad or did that gobbledegook bear a striking resemblence to Welsh? When I don't understand what someone's saying to me, I find agreeing and giggling in random places is usually the best idea! If that fails, perhaps you should try asking her if she speaks English!

Ok then, oh one so skilled in the amorous dialects..what did I say?

I might even try to decipher it, were it not for the tone of mockery I detected in your post.

Oh Xanatic. Do we have to spell it out to you. Ask her to teach you the language. You can then teach her English and you'll soon be communicating, and you can then steer the conversations your way.

Ask her about herself, her family, get someone to interpret for you to start you off, or just sit down with her and start on a few simple words. Like they do in the films, you know. "Me Tarzan, you Jane" sort of stuff. If you're doing the washing up together, you can learn the words "plate" "mug", "water" "wet" "dry" - (very useful later on some of those)

Go for it.

Or, if you decide you don't like her, you can teach her lots of dirty words in Dutch, instead.

B

Oh Il Viag! I do fear me that I have made false portraiture of my sentiments in a manner most unseemly - I do, with posture humble, beseech thee that thou shouldst consider my words anew with thine excellent wit and insight.

It can't be a simple letter transposition; there arent any two or three letter words like you'd need to have in english. And there are interesting repetition patterns in "asfoiwaf asefwef" and within "weoihrwoeir" and "weoirjoiwjr". Then there are the smileys to consider. Big eyes love blush yuk rocket sheep. I'm not ruling out the possiblility of random keyboard pounding, to which some of those "words" bear a striking resemblance.

Can I have a hint?

Hardly *random* keyboard poundings. The presence of numerous sequences like 'aweroij' strongly imply a repeated double-handed alternating inwards rolling/stroking action.