h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Smart and baeutiful is what I am looking for -- although what Xan said about beauty being an effect and not a cause is, by and large, true.

I think cause and effect are not really relevant in this, maybe ... everything is process.

I would just like to say that I got wolf whistled on Monday - and it felt great...it was enough to prevent the inevitable depression I usually feel after going clothes shopping (I was on my way to the shops). However I wouldn't want to have a relationaship (of any sort) with the whistler.

So.. While a compliment on your appearence is flattering and an ego boost it probably isn't going to be the start of anything serious.

I agree with Kelli if you want to get to know someone it is far better to start off on a taste/opinion basis than on physical looks.

Amazing. I'm doing something right.

It still isn't working, though [sigh]

"Just trying to give Xan a hand "

Lucky Xan, don;t tire your self out now

"icotan" - so you've met my evil alter ego then?

On a related (ish) point i caught a bit of that new dating proggy where the bloke said that previous girlfriends had said he was too nice (as in that was a bad thing). i was quite shocked as I have had that said to me as well. I'm afraid I do not understand it, how can you be too nice? Not nice in a wimpy ineffectual way, just nice in being thoughtful, considerate etc and generally treating the other person well.

Anyone explain?

Ooops, sorry

kelil

It makes us feel like the nasty one in comparison.
Too nice = perfect, perfect means we are imperfect, noone wants to spend time with some who, although they make you feel loved, makes you feel imperfect/nasty/not as nice and loving as they are.

being too nice probably is their way of saying not suitable...I saw the bloke on the programme..he wasn't everyone's cup of tea...
I think sometimes if a bloke does everything the girl/woman wants and doesn't stand up for himself..he may be being nice but there's no excitement.Or maybe you just haven't met the right person yet...you will ...it just takes time.

That's so weird.

Oh well. So this is why girls date b******s? Because they like feeling like the moral one? I have to say a lot of advertising plays on this (trust him not to do any washing / cleaning / etc.)

So how can you balance between too nice and not nice enough? Or should we be looking for perfect girls ? (that could cause worse feelings of inadequacy)

Oh I do stand up for myself. Have rows, all the normal stuff. I just believe in treating a partner as someone valued. I guess they just weren;t used to it. They did end up going out with a complete git who treated them (in my opinion) badly. But they seemed happy and got engaged and stuff. Obviously a martyr to some cause

The most exciting person I ever went out with was a two timing so and so..and I still think about him sometimes years later....but I also knew I couldn't put up with being treated like that.
You can be courteous without being overnice...just don't always do what she wants and surprise her sometimes...it keeps the interest going.

I do try and keep things, um, surprising.

Actually the "orbiting space station" behaviour you are describing is why I stopped going out with my last few girlfriends ... once we weren't going out any more they reverted to their former, bewitching selves. Frustrating, but we're all good friends now.

But "too nice"? If it isn't an excuse, what does that mean? And if it is an excuse, it sucks.

I have a theory women take men at their own self-valuation ....

Usually it means 'you are a lovely chap ideal in every way, but I just don't fancy you - wish I did, but I don't.'

k who has never wanted to be with a b*st*rd. I LIKE nice men.

Well, GOOD for you!

[does Irish lunatic impression]

Thanks for the hand kelli So what did I do right, so I can use that on other girls?

I think it was the blatant desperation...

That's it! I'll look more hangdog. Then woen will love me!

[bangs own head, reboots]

ah, that's better

To quote from Friends:

Rachel: "But I can't just ring up a man and ask him out..."
Joey: "Why? It's such a turn-on."
Rachel: "Doesn't it seem a little needy and desperate"
Joey: "That's the turn-on..."

B

Ooh, me too Nyssabird. A dark-eyed, tall, trenchcoat wearing academic with long, slender, sensitive hands. ...

Where can I find these Dutch Meet photos then?

Thought that was the end of the thread.

are you making fun of me?? *pained sniff*