h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

A lot of people on H2G2 has partners. So could you tell me what you did right?

Xanatic - you like animals? You should be able to win any girl's heart over.

Method 1: Get a dog - your own, of course, if possible, if not borrow one that really likes you. Take it for a walk and when you see a girl you fancy start stroking the dog really sensuously. A girl will reckon that if you know how to touch an animal you won't do too bad on humans either.

Method 2: Go for walkies with said dog - as with children, they make starting up a conversation so much easier. (Remember 101 Dalmations?)

Method 3: Show an interest in any animal, provided the owner is a likely candidate. Dogs, again, are easiest, but cats, budgies, are just as useful. Read up on the animals so you can hold a conversation of a decent length!

Just a suggestion.

OK carry on talking amongst yourselves.

What's a budgie?

budgerigar. Small, daft, fluffy, neon pet bird which does nowt.

Xan- if you have a dog, however, there is a risk it'll bound up to the poor lass and knock her flying, lick her where she'd rather keep dry, sniff up her skirt and relieve itself on her shoes. Small yappy-type dogs are no better.
Now, if you got yourself a panther...

Poll:
What's the sexiest animal Xanatic should get to aid him in picking up girls?

Panther is a good one. If your local park allows hawking, toting a peregrine falcon on your wrist is also mighty impressive.

i myself am not terribly attracted to wild animals. i find it impressive that some people know how to keep them under control, but i wouldn't be likely to approach one.

now a nice golden retriever, on the other hand...

budgie = parakeet

ah, parakeets. yes, they are daft.

There is a spot of grass here where on saturdays there are some that bring their caged birds so they can sit and sing together.

It is possible the dog would just jump up and lick them. Which might give them ideas, so they'd just go away with the dog instead

I've always fancied the idea of having a peregrin falcon. And I could train them to track down pretty girls

a parakeet's about four times the size of a budgie

Personally, nothing canine (unless it was a fosk. which is unlikely.)
Some sort of shiny, sleek-coated feline would do for me, tho' I would be more likely to start up a conversation with someone who had an overgrown guinea pig on a lead. Cats look foolish on leads, and would probably never forgive you for it.

how about one of those adorable pink little pigs?

how small are budgies?!

i was told that budgies were parakeets, and vice versa. my parakeet was roughly 7 inches tall from feet to head, not including tail.

they're about 3".
Pig on a lead! Excellent.

There have been a few programmes about people who keep pigs as pets on TV recently and they are beautiful animals close up. I could certainly think of lots of things to ask someone who was walking/playing with/fondling a pig!

Nah, pigs are only nice as piglets.

'Fondling' a pig TC?
You've obviously met my ex-husband

There are pigs that stay cute and little. You may want to look into this, Xan.

thanks for straightening me out, mandragora.

I've seen the ones that stay little. But they still don't have the cuteness of a piglet. I guess if I had one I could also invite the girls round for some truffels.

Why not doves They can fly with loveletters...
or a kitten everybody loves a little kitten....Many girls are afraid of slimy things and barking monsters and hungry panthers and....