h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Thank goodness for h2g2

I prefer talking to people who are a bit introvert. It probably seems quite stupid, but I find girls that are confident of themselves a bit intimidating.

aye, it does have good wallpaper

Hmm, perhaps I should have given the program a bit more of a chance then. i think, subconciously, I was worried that they'd take somebody like me, and make a success and then I'd have something to judge myself against, and inevitably fail. By not watching it, I wouldn't have to. Ah, who needs to pay shrinks, just share your soul with HooToo! S'pose I should really get off me *rse and do as you say. It's the fear of looking a fool that prevents it!

Thanks Aunty Tefkat

The introverted girl you're talking to (Please forgive me if I've got the gender wrong) will be so busy hoping she doesn't look a fool that you should be able to get away with anything short of falling off a cliff.

Enough of the "Aunty" ! I'm only a couple of years odder than you.

'oLder' as well (Vas zat a Freudian petticoat?)

"only a couple of years odder than you"

I'm going to have to remember that one next time someone accuses me of being old (oldest in my immediate circle of friends by 6 months).

*grin*

But so much wiser than the years would indicate

(gender correct!)

Okay, then a little question to you women. If some guy gives you a compliment, for example tells you that you're beautiful how would you react? Would you see through it and think him a moron, for obviously trying to get into your pants or such. Would you be flattered over it, or wouldn't you care?

"Would you see through it and think him a moron"

Is there something to see through?

Only make compliments that you genuinely feel to be true then there is nothing to see through, or is it your intention to say anything to get in her pants?!

I didn't mean saying it directly for that reason. Just that if a guy tells a girl she's beautiful he's probably trying to achieve something. Just getting her out on a date or something innocent like that. But she might imagine it was something else.

My point was that women would appreciate the compliment if it seemed genuine - but now you are telling me men only pay compliments because they want something, not because they really do think you look pretty in that dress (or whatever).

I was getting much better at accepting compliments, now I am back to thinking that none are real!

Hmm, well there is a difference between thinking somebody is beautiful and saying it. And I just don't think you in general would say it unless you had some reason. I'm not saying they don't mean it. Of course in a relationsship or so you'd probably say it (and mean it) just to make them happy.

A guy would probaly say it to the beautiful girl at the bar, but not to the beautiful girl sitting at the check out.

Maybe I'm just making matters worse.

It's hard to accept compliments at face value. They are easier to digest if, for example, you home in on one good point and say something like "I love the way you do your hair" or make a carefully formulated comment about something she is wearing. The first step, you see, is to talk about something that she has done herself.

If a girl has beautiful hair, per se, it is thanks to her genes, but nothing she has been able to do something about herself. The way she does her hair (even if it's only wearing it loose) IS however, something which she __does__ and not something that just is. Don't overdo it, either way.

The other point about compliments is not to wrap them up and present them, but to slip them in and gloss over them. If you stumble over a word or stutter, for example, just laugh it off and say "Sorry about that - I get a bit tongue tied when I'm with someone attractive". Don't pause there - go straight on and say what you were going to say (make it as banal as possible, because she'll be thinking about what you just said as an obstential "aside").

In this case, you are breaking a rule - i.e. making yourself the subject of the sentence. But it cleverly distracts from her and is much more charming than saying "You're so lovely, you stop me talking straight."

Sort of thing. I think.

Good advice TC. Can I use it too?

Xan, you asked whether we believe compliments.
I think the shy, introverted girls are likely to find it very hard to believe you.
Personally, when men tell me I'm beautiful I always think they're trying to flatter me and tend to say summat like "I'm old and fat and I was never even pretty in the first place" - because it's true - but recently someone gave me a severe telling off for doing that - so I ended up having to believe him.
(Standards of beauty obviously vary wildly.)

Being the sort of person you are ()I bet you find yourself noticing the quirky little features that make someone interesting, rather than the obvious, model-type things.
Those little oddities are probably the very things they think are faults in their appearance (or character).
So if you said summat like "I love the way your glasses make your eyes look so big" or "You know so many interesting things. What you said about the was fascinating." they'd be more likely to believe you and feel really pleased that someone could see past the standards set by the fashion police.

Don't know whether that made sense, but that's the way this shy, introverted, old, fat, ugly woman would feel anyway - and I'm sure it must hold true for others too.

Anti Tefkat xxx

Yes. I hope I'm not repeating myself if I point out that you must make tiny compliments which are easier to accept and then work up to bigger ones. Driving off in top gear, you will backfire.

This conversation is interesting! ....I think boys /men who is not afraid of their soft /female side, and is not afraid of "loosing their face" is the most attractive.!And many girls often first see the eyes or the hands or something,not the face or the body.
And I still get interested in people who has something to say,who knows things. -A stripping boy? I would just start running
a reading boy?-makes me wonder what is he reading?-Is it something good? ...take care & be you! ?

...oh, he will...

A new girl has started at the company, an Australian one. Maybe I should strike up a conversation about canetoads with her

I'm not sure that would be the right approach, Xan. How about asking her to join you in a cup of tea/coffee and compare with the kind they serve in Australia.

You'll certainly be able to impress her with your English. And I mean that, genuinely.

Yup. I updated it because I found another scrumptious piccie of my favourite, and the whole thing immediately got squashed. I got an e-mail saying which links were causing the problem, though, and I really ought to just delete them. But I shall have to wait till I get home because I haven't got the e-mail here.

Watch that space!