h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Excellent link Huffers

One problem i can think of is that there is a very fine line between being confident and being an up yourself twunt. You have to have an incredible level of mental balance in order to become a 'Don Juan' as they call it.

What do the girls think of the article, are its points valid or is it a load of Dingos Kidneys.

Well, I didn't read the whole thing, but the technique described sounded a bit dodgy to me. With that sort of behaviour it's almost impossible not to cross over to the egotistical a**hole category.

And I really don't want a *real man* to make my decisions for me

That said, desperation is unattractive in anyone. That's why I try to hide it.

It's a fine line to tread...

Thanks Ged

I'm no expert, but I think the idea is to somehow let her find out you are

99% testosterone, tough, strong, confident, assertive, charming bastard
1% secretly a really sweet guy deep down

I had a read of quite alot of the first page of it, the advice of what they suggest is pretty extreme and is likely to result in the opposite of how you actully want to come over.

best thing with that forum would be as with all things, not take it at face value and just extract from it the main points that will actully be helpful, and not make you look like a b*stard.

Up to a point, it makes a lot of sense to me.

The only times girls have ever been interested in me in clubs is when I've been there just to dance and enjoy myself and not been on the pull.

When you start to look around hopefully, all is lost. They *can* smell desperation a mile off.

The time before last when I went out, which was when I met my friend's NFG workmates, I was giving it some in the middle of the dancefloor and enjoying myself a *lot* (and while I don't claim to be John Travolta, I'm not half bad with the right tune when I get going...) and not thinking about girls at all and the next thing I knew this blonde girl came up, put her arms around my neck and started dancing up really close to me.

And at the time, I genuinely wasn't interested so I just danced with her for a bit and wandered off. But it did a lot for my confidence.

Reading that article, 'Pook' comes across to me as being a bit full of himself, though if he genuinely does have the level of sucess he claims to have its understandable.

Though to me you can pretend your this super confident Don Juan all you like, but one day that veneer is going to crack and the girl's going to hate you for lying to her.


Though he definately has a point with 'girls can smell desperation a mile off' thing.

pretend?

More to the point the person he is describing turning yourself into sounds like an utter .

Ladies, the moral of the story is: the charmers are always the ones who've had too much practice if you know what I mean.

What 'Pook' describes is putting on a super confident outer layer of your usual shy nice guy self. Eventually thats going to falter, the power drain for that level of illusion is immense. You'd never keep up the pretence for long enough without burning out something, the girl would eventually find out.


Remember there is only one Fonz.

But I have to say, given a lifetime of empirical study, women do seem to go for blokes following the Pook plan than nice friendly guys like ourselves... and myself, I'm certain it explains why I have *never* had any success with a girl that I've decided I fancy. I always get over-keen and over-nervous and pay her far too much attention and act like an idiot and blow it.

0f course, this doesn't mean I've never been out with girls that I found attractive - but it means my choice has always been limited to those that were interested in me before I realised I liked them, or girls who I didn't find attractive at first but then grew on me.

And that's hardly fair!

To me, 'treat them like you'd treat another bloke, except don't talk to them about cars and computers and the like' sounds like ideal advice - now I think back, almost any success I've had has (accidentally) come as a result of pursuing that game plan.

I agree, the over-confident thing is a pitfall we can easily fall into - and there is only one Fonz - but the stuff around it sounds pretty solid to me.

for the extra empirical evidence, Number 6

to BouncyBadgerInTheMiddle:
what do you mean by "too much practice"?

to Ged:
my Dad told me that the way he became confident was he pretended, until he magically became confident.
But I don't think that's true, I think pretending to be confident is being confident. You just pretend until it comes naturally.

Access Denied to the link!

Hey huffers!

From what you guys have been talking about, it sounds similar to what I said ages ago - act confident, you may not feel it but it will come more naturally to you over time. Besides, all of you I've met are gorgeous

Confidence is good. Just don't stop being nice.

Yeah, be nice And confident


(and everything else we want you to be that you should psychically know even though it all contradicts )

Nice gets you nowhere. Neither does mature. So WIRO you don´t have to worry, women do seem to prefer the immature laddish guys.

Hmmm, I also can´t access the link. But judging from what people say on here, it seems like good advice. But acting confident is difficult, I try to but all the time get reminded of who I am and what my place is.

A girl not feeling good enough for me? That sounds far out, most seem to think they are above me. And still, if somebody you felt you weren´t good enough for asked you out, wouldn´t you still go for it?

Xan - who you are is an intelligent cool blonde haired blue eyed Dane with a wicked sense of humour. What your place is you don't know yet, your job is your job, who knows what you are in the grand scheme of things... you could be anything

I'll second that Queegle - even if I didn't quite follow all of it

*Some* women do go for immature laddish tw*ts, it cannot be denied. But an awful lot don't. Maybe you guys are looking for the wrong type of women?

The confidence thing is important and you can appear confident without being an @rse. I used to do what Bouncy's Dad suggested - fake it until it became more real. I will never be one of those supremely confident people, but you wouldn't always know it just by looking at me

all

Nice and mature gets you nowhere?

Xanatic, are you being *nice* or *overly nice* to these women? Being nice is wonderful and can be very able. Agreeing with every stupid thing the girl says to make her like you is not good. Whenever that happens to me I get struck with sudden agoraphobia and run for my safe place. A guy who acts like this looks pathetic to me. It looks like he's willing to forget who he is just to get a girl, any girl. And it doesn't make me feel very good either to be any girl.

Personally I wouldn't go for everything said in that link, how ever i would take from it.

Taking the Bar scenareo, don't go round chatting up everyone, if someone seems interested only go up if you are actully interested yourself.
if see someone you like go and talk to them anyway.


Would also use what it says about not giving them all your time, and not always being avalible. have a life of your own as well, don't /always/ go out of your way to be able to do something. im sure it would be appreacited some of the time. Dispite this be dependable.

so think is generally a case of making it seem like she isn't the /only/ thing that is important in your life.

erm I can't really remmber much else from it, read it last night and thought i would write down what i remmbered of it.

personally i couldn't follow exactly how it suggests to behave, as that would just go against my being to become a . though there are useful points to hopefully being more succesful without doing that.



confidence is important, it is an act, at least at the start. When you go somewhere new confidence is an act, it is preteding that you don't have a problem, where as if you reguarly do somthing, then the confidence becomes real.


A relevent phrase would be B*llsh*t Baffles Brains.


Appling that to the situation of the NFG you like, that would being able to jsut act normally like you would with other people as they get to know you rather than being completly nerverous and afraid of your mistake. Not to pretend to something that you are not.



Oh yeah that reminds me of another point in there, don't worry about the success of a date, just have fun.





now if only i could be good at putting my own advice and yours into practice completly.



had this save d in a file cos i couldn't get online long enough to post .. on to the point of being overly nice and always agreeing ... it can be fun when you disagree

Didn´t quite get all of it either Queegle.

On a good side, one of the guys I work with who I think fits the "nice guy" category has gotten together with another girl I work with. And he´s not fit or rich or such things.