h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

*grizzled old sea captain voice*

Yarrr this ain't no hurricane, this is only a mild summer breeze, yarrr.

*gets blown across the deck*

**works up to a big pun about that last line, then decides the Mods probably wouldn't buy it**

B

You keep your seamen jokes to yerself!

I didn't mean it in quite that way Master B


You can see whats on Master B mind at the moment, and I think Odo's going to be er... 'busy' when she gets home.

'At the moment'?

'Permanently' I think would be the more accurate description.

B

"THAARRR SHE BLOWS!"



ahem

Hmmm, I think I know where you lot would be on the scale.

I should probably make two profiles. One where I´m "being myself", and one where I´m making it all up. See which one is most succesful.

Queegle! I am profoundly shocked and appalled. What would fuzzy think?

B

Woooo, I'm back everyone, hellooooo. anyway got back from China a little over a week ago to find my computer dead, but back on the internet now.

I got a nice goodbye kiss at Xiamen airport . China's great. The stereotype about everyone being really really short? True.

Incidentally, if you're on a 10 hour long haul flight from Heathrow to Beijing, and there's a really pretty girl sitting next to you, and it so happens that you get chatting because she's Chinese and you've been learning Mandarin, and she gives you cake, what should you do?

She probably thinks you're a spy. Check the cake for microfilm.

B

*Battens down the hatches against Xan's libido*

Blicky - isn't it a bit late to ask what you should have said to the girl on the plane? You should have chatted her up like it was going out of fashion - what better way to spend a journey?

Have just got back from holiday - Whew - what a load of backlog that was. Very enjoyable. Well done everyone.

By the way, Master B, how do you know that Odo wouldn't like you to hold a door or pull out a chair occasionally? Have you tried?

For the stats: I'm not single, I'm a wistful old lady who really enjoys this thread. Have been married for over 27 years. But as my dating days were in the early 70s, which was quite a wild time- before AIDS, etc - it is fun to watch you lot and reminisce.....

Poor old WIRO, while I'm out here rooting for him, I can't help sometimes talking like a Mum to him.

Where were we? Oh yes, I was going to suggest at some time that perhaps everyone could jot down their Lonely Hearts ad here. Just to see what we all think of them. Mainly for Xan's benefit, that one. And Ged. And Flamestrike?

As for accents - someone did ask ? - well, remember how Jamie Lee Curtis reacted to foreign languages in "A Fish called Wanda"? - in my case, after some phone calls at work with men with accents (any accent, I don't care) you sometimes have to mop me up off the floor.

If I wasn't of the age and marital status I am, but was still 20 and looking, my LH ad would be something like this:

"Intelligent girl, brunette, musical, likes talking, but listens, too. Come and talk to me. Preferably with a regional accent."

Having no experience of that sort of thing, I expect you can all improve on it. Then there are the variations.

"In the style of:"

- the Times
- the Mirror
- Horse and Hound

etc etc

Uhhh, I miss having Asian girls smiling and waving at me.

Blicky: It is a bit late, but yes do chat up the girl. You´ve got nothing to loose. Well except ending up serving prison term in a chinese labour camp. You got her phone number and e-mail adress I hope.

It is difficult to write about myself in an ad without sounding like a complete geek or trainspotter. I need to find out how to rewrite it all into dating language, like when you´re selling an old house

Ahh, I meant bouncy. All those badger names are confusing.

B - Fuzzy would probably get a whistful look in his eyes and be quite distracted look in his eyes

Speaking of whom, said to him last night that about our on/off/onish but on the quiet/etc./etc., I'm taking the decision out of his hands and we're just gonna be friends. Which he understood and was pretty much okay with.
Would rather be a friend that gets treated wonderfully than something more than that where I'm not sure where boundaries are, and none can be set because he doesn't know what he wants them to be! !

Xan - the idea of presenting two different people isn't bad, but you'd have to do it with two completely different groups of people, else people will think you're , cuz you're a bit young to be classed as eccentric


Will have to think about an ad, too knackered for brain to have started working yet . Did place a lonely hearts ad once, but then lost my box pin number so couldn't listed to any messages

You can count me in the numbers as officially single..still.

And welcome back Bouncy! I'm heading off to China in a mere 2 weeks! Will keep an eye out for fit blokes on the plane

Will work on my LH ad (oh! that's my initials!), but I did describe myself recently as

"a rich nympho with a penchant for bad jokes and fine wine"

Like Xan, I Can't think of anything for a Lonely Hearts ad that does make me sound like a complete geek or a psycho.

Maybe I should just have:

'Nice Guy' seeks Nice Friendly Girl for excitement, adventure and really wild things.

Don´t think you want to use the phrase "nice guy".

I suppose writing something humorous is best. Because everything else you say about yourself could easily have been made up.

Yep. You might not trust the description, but a sense of humour is genuine.