h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

In the interests of inter-Guide communication and that...
...similar to Orcus' Annoying phrases. Supply any words, proverbs, phrases you have personally coined and are very proud of. (Simply because I'd like to know if anyone else does this besides me.)
Here, to commence the celebrations, an anecdote:
We gave the name 'Lord Fad'mhajadge' to a customer we were slightly annoyed with (even though it was a woman). This got ellipsed to 'Lady Fadge' and now we use 'fadge' to mean 'annoyance'. I'm fadged= I'm upset. It can be a noun or verb, or possibly adjective. However, I was unaware that 'fadge' was a real word, meaning 'to fit together'. Now I am slightly- fadged, really, to have my beautiful word already taken, but continue to use it in the former sense.
Be as detailed as you like. Here are more:
There's never milk when you need butter.
Vynical: sharply cynical
Panathema: panacea/anathema, the universal curse.
Hinternet: everything I look at on the Web is obscure. Hence.
It (bores/scares) the living trousers off me.
Snoob! -Something to say when you've made an embarrassing mistake.

Blake's 7, a scenery shaking BBC sci fi series of the mid 70's, used to employ (ripped off from Star Trek) a Tele-Transporter. My little brother (5 at the time) loved the concept, and created his own, using a cardboard box, and christened it the Bellybone-borger. To this day if anyone within my circle of friends is stuck without transport, they utter the phrase "I wish I had a Bellybone-borger."

djs (Expanding the language)

Ooooo. I've made up a lot. Most are insults
Pie-A swear. Can be used in /any/ way.
Ex: Pie It!
You Pie!
You muffin loving (see bellow) pie!
SHUT YOUR PIE HOLE!
Muffin Lover- Insult
Ex: You muffin lover!
Erk- I think I coined this one. Used like erm or uhh.
Ex:Erk. I didn't really mean that...

There should be a guild entry on this

Well, one of my classmates used the word "toucacious" in a sentence. We're trying to figure out a good use for it.

I've been speaking Brittonian for years. Invented cosmicpolitans and squircles, both potent cocktails for my moments of controlled debauchery. My job: I sell youth, beauty and the American Dream. In other words, I color people. That dopey moment when you first wake up is befuzzlement. When you're agitated and babbling senselessly you're twitterpated. And if I'm completely astounded by something, you'll hear me say "well...whack me nekkid and hide my clothes!"

"Ferpect."

For when something is found to be better than perfect.

Wow, that was one heck of a simulpost. It showed your post after mine, but on the page that loaded to show me _my post_ when I posted it. Which reminds me: I invented a word for a double post, duplipost. From which can be derived triplipost, quadruplipost, and quituplipost. I've actually seen a quadruplipost once. Very distracting.

Whiffle - moving up or down a bed without disturbing the other person.

When one of you is lying on the bed with your head an inch from the headboard, and the other of you is lying on the bed with their feet over the end, so that (unless you have arms like a gorilla) you cannot convenientely reach the parts - then it is time for the murmured suggestion 'can you wiffle up' or perhaps 'can you wiffle down'.

This was a coinage of myself and the former Mr Ben, and it is still one of the things I must remember not to do or say these days.

a whiffler called Ben

A 'doodadoo' (said rather quickly) is a person that doesn't have both oars in the water, so to speak.

Example: She's such a doodadoo, she locked her keys in the car again!

My mother uses 'schnooky-dook' to refer to a watchamacallit.

And my father's favorite curse was 'hazel-frizzle-pat'!

On old long-lost friend of mine (Hey George!) used to refer to a moment of complete humiliation as a 'moment of grinz' (pronounced "grintz"). I still think of it whenever I have one of those moments (like telling a handicap joke to the brother of someone who has the handicap in question, etc.).

In the proverbs department, it was in a thread in the first incarnation of h2g2 that I coined this saying:

Persistence is just existence with a vector.

It got good reviews at the time, so I proffer it here for your collection.

Fantastic! Joy! More.
Around me, there is a redefinition of 'random' going on, i.e. it has no meaning and can be used anywhere. Hence, 'that is so random.' 'It was such a random night'.
Also, calling someone you think is disagreeable 'whack'. They can be either whack or semi-whack, depending on how you view them.
Mangled proverbs:
You brewed the pie, you lie in it.
A black horse of a different colour.
Excuse me, I believe this is your petard.
To a plump person- Would you like a cup of tea? Biscuit? All the pies?
We'll burn down that bridge when we come to it. (Queex coined this and wanted credit. I told him to go and suck a goat.)

I have nothing to add to this thread at all but I wanted you to know how much I am enjoying it. Thank you

Rather than say outright that someone is fabricating, misrepresenting, or embellishing the truth: "It's your story, you can tell it how you want."

"Computer Clown School" - The university where several of my incompetent coworkers learned computing fundamentals.

"Feeding the cat" - A euphemism which refers to throwing up after excessive indulgence in alcohol. This came about as the result of one party when I was 19. I was the youngest in attendance, and the rest decided that I needed to get wasted, and this was accomplished. When I told the host that I was ready to throw up, someone was already using the bathroom for that purpose. So he led me to the little back porch, where I leaned over the railing and did what I had to do. We all passed out in various positions on the floor, and the next morning, we heard a noise outside on the porch. We opened the curtain and saw a cat eating my spew... I "fed the cat."

"I'm already ready, already." - The last "already" is a part of 80's Southern California (or more specifically, "The Valley") slang (ex "Shut up, already"). The rest is pretty self-explanatory, and I just like the alliteration.

"Republicrat" - I can't take credit for this one, because I stole it from someone. I use it a lot, though. It refers to the US government, which is allegedly run by two parties, Republican and Democrat. But you can't tell them apart without a scorecard. All they're interested in is power, and they whore themselves out to corporate America in order to get it. So third parties are named for their proper names, but the others are just members of the Republicrat party.

"Ray": A grotesquely overweight person. This came about because some friends and I were acquainted with a whole family of grossly fat individuals. One happened to be named Tony Ray, and so we dubbed them the Ray family, and applied the name as a last name to the whole family... Daniel Ray, Angie Ray, Momma Ray. Anyone else we saw in their exclusive weight class was deemed to be another member of the Ray family, and we'd slap the name on the end of their first name, if we learned it. This may be a bit insensitive, but I was a teenager when I used this one. Momma Ray was one of those who couldn't even move by herself. She stayed planted in her chair all day, feeding her fat, and a nurse came in to change her bedpan and clean her sores. She made me physically nauseous.

And a bunch more that I've forgotten over the years...

A friend of mine coined this proverb. I'm still not sure exactly what it's about, but I like it anyway

"Shoot a bird today and it will still be dead tomorrow."

And the word "random" should have been posted in the annoying phrases thread, if it was not. It's driving me nuts!!

~Fluffy Sheep~

Home is where the hate is

Amongst a small, select group of exiled Wiganers...

Franotish Macintosh - means how r u?

Brrrashhky-Masshhkie-Maaar - means Happy Birthday

and intrigling (in-TREE-gul-ling) is something very interesting.

and shoofling denotes a terrible rage (from shoe-fling, of course)

pj

Good one though!

OK well here's a few, not sure of just how original they are but i use loads of "coinages" in my everyday speech - i just can't remember them all

10 o'clock : "The bells of Ten"
Something that annoys you immensly is "Chaffing your nipples"
and "Gun talk from a water-pistol" is someone making an idle threat.

more later....

Fluffy Sheep- you've heard Random? Super. It doesn't annoy me yet, but it's not been around here too long and I like the people who say it.
Does anyone else have incoherent friends- one, who will not be named here (but who is becoming known to all as 'Heinous Bitch' although we love her really) could do with a glossary. According to her, shouting "Belly button!" means "I like your skirt, is it new and did you make it?" It certainly saved time.