h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Please don't ruin one of Hootoo's best and most funniest threads. If you want to bicker please go do it on your own threads not this one please. Thanks.

Red Dog

*GD wanders back in*

*waves to Red Dog*

Have you missed me?

Ahhh my Blades friend in a cunning french disguise

Just a small point about Theakston OP, peculiar it may be, but it is called Old Peculier. You'll note that the picture of a man kneeling at prayer is "The seal of the Peculier of Masham". A peculier was a kind of parish without a priest (or something along those lines.)

Philbert, notorious pedant and beer bore

Embarassing things:

Me:
One night my in-laws were staying to babysit as my wife and I went to a company party. On reaching home I was fairly soused and started to feel odd. Our tumble drier was stacked on top of the washing machine and vented to the outside. I felt that I needed some fresh air and put my head in the drier for same and then I noticed the accoustics and started to sing! It all seemd so logical at the time.

My best friend:
In our teenage years I had told him of this rather nice local girl and walking towards my house saw her on the street and discreetly pointed her out. My friend, who is not known for his subtlety stared at her and said "Yeah! She is a bit of all right!" At this point he walked straight into a brick pillar and the young lady collapsed laughing.

My wife:
Went into some public toilets with my teenage niece. She had just seen her go into the cubicle next door. After a short time she heard a large fart from said cubicle and shouted "I heard that!" On leaving the toilets she saw my niece outside and realised that her comment was directed at a total stranger!

My best friend's wife:
My friend and his wife moved house just after the birth of one of their children. The previous owner, an elderly gentleman, was wont to come most days to pick up any mail delivered there for him and to chat to her. On the fateful day she had finished breast feeding the infant when she heard the doorbell. She hurredly put her equipment away and answered the door to the old gentleman. She tried to chat to him but he appeared distracted. She asked if he wanted to come in for tea but he declined and hastily left. As she closed the door she noticed that one boob was still fully displayed, her blouse having snagged on her nursing bra. After that the man's daughter came to collect the mail!

Oh, it's so not nice to laugh at the expense of others.

anyway

My most (recent) embarassing moment was on a spontaneous trip I took to Canada. I had made a rather good (male, but platonic) friend online, and decided to take a free weekend up to visit him.

Shortly after my arrival we went out to dinner, and he ordered a dish of jalapeno poppers for us to share. He took one, and proclaimed it "Hot!", as they were fresh from the fryer.

Not to be daunted, I took one, and bit into it. The thing was ing ATOMIC. Not half an hour after first laying eyes on this poor soul, I spit the popper out onto the table, for all the world to see. I was mortified. Thank goodness, (as is necessary if you're a friend of mine) he had a wonderful sense of humour. I did get a blister both on the roof of my mouth, and on my thumb (when the cheese squirted out) so at least I have proof it was hot.

Really rather embarassing.

Our profoundest apologies RD. You are of course correct, fortunately we have a spare face and remain free from Hotair.

Downing a litre of Gin. Passing out (for 9 & 1/2 hours). P***ing my pants, being stripped naked by a nurse and my mother, loseing my socks. Hows that for a night in the life of a fifteen year old?? PS Im 20 Now.

similar to one above; a friend of mine was sunbathing with me at the beach a few days ago... when we got up to get in the water, i noticed everyone was pointedly not looking at her, so i looked to see what was wrong... poor nat, her top had shifted and her nipple was exposed! i whispered a warning and the poor girl turned bright red...

Oooh I've just remembered another one...

Not even a month after starting at my last job, in technical support, I had garnered a fairly decent reputation. One day while looking for a file on the server, I accidently opened the file next to it.

Next thing I knew, my email program was going bonkers. I quickly shut it down, and called MY tech support.

Within seconds, I was getting flooded with phone calls. Apparently I had unleashed a virus on the company - one that emailed people with the message "For great XXX pics, click here."

At least I wasn't the only one who was embarassed - the key people in perpetuating the virus round the company turned out to be the CEO and the Head of IT . They tried to claim that it was because they figured if it was from me, it must have been ok, but really!

I never did live that down.

once, while checking out a really cute guy, i walked straight into a sign post. but then again, i'm sure that happens to a lot of people. it's still embarassing though...

heh, i love this forum
^. .^
= ' =

for many years was a biochemist and worked in my local hospital pathology department. it was standard practice to go for a drink on friday nights after work and this was a normal friday so i did. i noticed a rather attractive nurse at the bar and asked her if she wanted a drink, she declined alcohol and opted for a coke. the night was going swimmingly but i began to feel ill. very ill. ill enough for my mate to take me round to the casuality department as i was doubled over in pain. the doctor on duty pronounced acute appendicitis and i was duely whipped off to the ward to await surgery.

traumatic enough but it then got much worse, the nurse i had been chatting up appeared razor in hand and pronounced that i had to be shaved. this was mortifying enough but worse still was the reaction of my neither regions to a blonde very attactive woman even though i was in agony at the time.

the worst bit of all this was i saw this woman in the corridor every day for the next 5 years and every time i couldnt help but blush from head to toe.

That sounds an odd thing for a pathologist or anyone who works in a hospital to get embarrassed about.

I'm sure she was very impressed.

it was the way she smiled at me for the next five years and the fact i could hear her giggle as we passed...

my ex wifes worst momment was when she was giving birth to our first child. there were problems and a paediatrician was called to the delivery room.

needless to say we knew him well and the last time she had seen him he was standing astride two beer barrels rather the worse for alcohol.

She still blames that fact for why she required forceps ... "how could i push with that p*** head peering at me from the end of the bed!!!"

Laughing so much it hurts - luckily I don't know any medics in this town...

Thank you

B

poor eyethink!