h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

I think you should post it immediatly as a penance for killing the thread when you told agcB and I that we were all over the world wide web

"Another Colleague told me a good story about their experience on the Tube, I shall mull it over before deciding whether to post it here or not!"

No, please don't post it here!

Right on, that Desk!

Yesterday got an e-mail from my badminton partner saying he'd pick me up at 7:00 for our match. Looked in my diary and no match there, but I'm often a little out of date. He checked his diary / list and confirmed match.

Anyway got ready for match, he picked me up and we drove 45 minutes across Sussex to the match. Went through the doors into the sports hall and into a crowd of bemused people who then took great pleasure in reminding us that they'd pulled the team out of the league in September...

So we drove home again.

Shortly after my 21st birthday my first husband told me he wanted to take me out and discuss getting back together.
I had recently been given an old sunlamp by a friend who was emigrating.
Well, I'd never sunbathed or anything (The Family are all wows) but I'd heard ultra-violet light could help cure acne so I thought I'd try it.
I used that ancient unshielded lamp for 20 minutes on the right side of my face (goggles? what are they? ) before the tingling sensation alerted me to the fact that all was not right (I have a high pain threshold )
The doctor taped a large lump of cotton wool over my injured eye but couldn't do anything about the skin on the half of my face that was burnt black and peeling absurdly.
Then my husband didn't turn up and after I'd waited for hours, dressed in my glad rags and looking steadily more disappointed, my cousins invited me out to the hockey club dance.
Can you imagine what a bunch of men who could only be seen in the dark because they were baring their teeth in laughter had to say to a fishbelly white girl (who'd been insisting for years she was as good as them) when she turned up with one side of her face badly sunburned in late November?

It was almost as hard to live down as the strawberry jam fiasco....

Aww...poor Tefkat.

Two girls were arguing about politics in the office and getting louder and louder.
So I just pointed out that the answer was simple -- line the government up against a wall and shoot the lot of them.
One girl asked 'All?'
'Yes' I replied.
'My Father is the Chief Whip'
I went to get a coffee.

Excellent!!

I still don't know what a chief whip is. Some sort of politician yes, I gathered that much.

The whips are the MP's in each political party in the UK who enforce party discipline - get the MP's to vote with their party line and such like.

The chief whip is their leader.

Oh? Well- here's an embaressing moment... I thought they were sort of incharge of the ethics in the party, or something...

It wasn't at the time -- the girl (as we passed) looked at me daggers and spat 'Murderer'.
The other (of double barrelled name - so we know which party she came from) just giggled.
3 days later I went into the Ladies Loo by mistake -- but that is another story and still brings me out in cold sweats. If enough of you beg I may elaborate.

Pretty Please!

with sugar on top

And a cherry...

Yeah come on tell us. And if you do it right now, you can have a whole new fresh page all to yourself for the story!

(and if folk start posting stories, I may well put a couple more of my own up )