h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Works for me.

I married a nice guy, we have a load of history in common, and we are still incredibly like-minded about all sorts of things; work, jobs, human values, stuff like that. But we damaged each other greatly as we parted, we don't want to share our bed, our lives, our money, or our future, and we don't want to hang out together all the time. But he is still a nice guy. (I am a good picker).

It helps that
(1) we never said anything unforgivable to each other;
(2) we were never spiteful, and never played games;
(3) we are both honest enough to recognize that we are happier apart than we were together;
(4) I can earn good money;
(5) we both realised that the hurt and the pain were not deliberate or spiteful, they just came out of the situation we were in.

It took us several years to get to this stage. I know that it is called a broken heart, because it hurts physically inside your left rib-cage. I have lain on the floor of the kichen alone in the house, and howled like a dog at three in the morning. I have woken up screaming in the night. But now, we are gently and kindly learning to be friends again.

I would never get back with him; he has jerked me around to much, and I don't trust him not to switch on me again. I don't know how he feels about me.

It has taken a lot for my friends - particularly my girlfriends - to realise that I don't think he is a b*****d from hell; I just think he is a sad and messed up guy who doesn't know what he wants, and who tried his hardest to be fair to me. I loved him greatly for a long time, and now I wish him luck.

Now, in words of Cyndi Lauper, "girls just wanna have fun"

agcB

Same here.
We were only married for 3 years, separated for two and have been divorced for 16. We were so scared in the divorce court we held hands for comfort all the way thru the hearing. The judge kept giving us odd looks
He's the big brother I never had...

Familiar story Ben.

Oops. Simulpost.
But the same goes for your last one. Yep, yep and yep.
(I had one of his (unwashed) jumpers that I used to bury my face in)

"We were so scared in the divorce court we held hands for comfort all the way thru the hearing."

That's LOVELY!

We are doing without lawyers and hopefully without judges. It is taking him ages to sign the paperwork though. But I hate forms at the best of times, so I can't complain about that.

It is such a shame that people think that hating someone is the only way to split up.

agcB

It's a shame that people have to split up at all

It doesn't always work that way. My husband did the old "let's do this amicably bit", whilst behind my back he was being as scheming and poisonous as possible. By the time I discovered what was going on, the harm had been done.

Ah but if we hadn't split up, Peregrin, we'd have ended up hating each other.
Getting divorced meant we could start to learn to relate to each other as friends again, instead of combatants.

That's really sad Rainbow. Perhaps he was worried that you were doing that, or perhaps his solicitor pushed him. Mine certainly tried to make me drag up all sorts of nastiness.

Friends don't help either. Are your friends and family saying really awful things about him and maintaining they never liked him?
His are probably saying the same about you.
Why do people have to be so two-faced?

Rainbow Slug: try looking at the entry about Prisoner´s Dilemma.

I´ve also always felt that women laughed whereever I went. Even though my common sense tried to tell me they had other things to care about than me. But being in a room where somebody is laughing and I don´t know the reason for it, is a pretty bad feeling.

Hmm, yes being mocked is very bad. I´ve had it all my life. Though for the past year I´ve been out of school so it hasn´t happened. But are there really any ways of dealing with mockerers? Except beating them up? Any ideas?

Just wondering, just how important is the body of a guy compared to the rest? And I don´t mean the ideal guy, be realistic.

BTW Xanatic, if you write something - anything - on your user space then people (like me) can come along and leave messages

Wow - some interesting relationships stories. People do try to put us into boxes don't they? I recently asked my partner to move out because I couldn't live with him any more. It didn't mean I didn't love him - I just couldn't live with him. He obviously took it as total rejection because he found someone else. We still see each other though. We always were best friends.

As for the mocking of women/people...the best way to deal with it is to smile as if you know something they don't. Smile kindly, as you would for a young child who had said something silly. Never show you're riled.

As for games - I agree. But it is a way to generate interest. If that's what you want Hooloovoo. A better approach might be honesty. And patience. The "nice guy" I was talking about did find himself a nice girl and they got married and had two children.

*wonders whatever happened to the conversation thread of 'punchlines'*

And the falcon says to the clam, "Aw, (wait for it) ..shucks."

Whoa! Simultaneous postings! Don't worry Juliet I was replying to Peregrin's suggestion to Xanatic ..nothing I said is in anyway comnnected to your nice comments. But now that I've seen yours, lemme jsut say, "It's nice to hear there are still some optimists."

I did enjoy reading those posts Ben and Tefcat. Flouting the rules of convention always appeals. Just for the record, I now find myself in the position where I can't imagine wanting a bloke again.

Oh great, now Juliet doesn't want me either....

Hooloovoo, Hooloovoo, Hooloovoo ... you're only 22! Don't despair! People are still finding their way in their early 20s, I find they tend to settle down a bit in their late 20s. Give it some time, be yourself!

Your best bet to finding like-minded women is to pursue interests and hobbies that you have. This puts you in a non-pressure situation of mingling with new people. It's not like showing up at a bar or going to a party hoping to "find" someone. Even if you don't meet a special lady, you've broadened your horizons, perhaps learned a new skill, and met new friends! That's not so bad!

> People are still finding their way in their early 20s, I find they
> tend to settle down a bit in their late 20s. Give it some time, be
> yourself!

I know I've got loads of time to find Ms. Right.

It wouldn't be so bad, but I ain't...ahem..."gettin' any" either. I mean I cant even find Miss Wrong. No one, literally *no one* even gives me a second look.

It wouldn't bother me so much if I'd at least had some experience of one or two Ms Wrongs.

Xanatic, my favorite way to deal with mockers is to laugh. Not a vicious laugh, but just a laugh. It generally leaves them confused and they just walk away.

Hooloovoo, this may be hard to believe, but you are better off without finding any Ms Wrongs. One or two Ms Rights aren't a bad thing - as long as they're not at the same time of course!

G7

At least it would make the pain go away of feeling that nobody wants you...

Ooops - a slipup on my part H, sorry. You can come and get me in all my decrepitude.

I'm wondering now, why you don't get any second looks. Perhaps you should grow some interesting facial hair??

Ugh.. facial hair

Although, maybe I could grow a physicist beard, and buy a pair of sandles (with socks naturally).

Then again, maybe not.