h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Now I´m not going to say anything about wether premarital sex is good or bad, but if you´re a Christian it would seem stupid not to follow it. It says so in the Bible, you can´t do anything about that. The place where I live there are many "Christians" who has broken basically all of the biddings in the Bible. That seems to me you can´t do that and still call yourself a Christian.

Hooloovoo, you might have been raised as a Christian and have been baptized but that doesn´t make you a Christian. It´s your choice.

Just to add to the previous thing. If you wait untill marriage mel, what about the matter of divorce. Do you see divorce as an option? Because then even marriage wouldn´t be final.

The following is just me babbling

What someone said on here about perfume and honesty, isn´t that a bit wrong. You can be honest when it comes to relationsships, but if you haven´t got the genes it takes, isn´t the next best thing to fake it? In the animal world there is done a lot of faking. And isn´t it also being dishonest when you use make-up, bras and that kind of stuff. It is all about making you appear better than you are.

Pheromones are something that animals are attracted by, and probably also humans. But what about something like memes, those things Dawkins invented? Is there something in humans that make us attracted to certain memes? We can say we prefer people with that and that personality, is that maybe a bit of the same as variation in genes, just with memes instead? And then stuff like being humorous and caring are succesful memes. What do you guys think?

But back to pheromones. I remember in the Species movie they said rats can tell if their partner has any genetic diseases. Can anybody tell me if this is correct or just made up for the movie.

I would say the kind of people we are attracted to has as much to do with cultural influences (or 'memes') as genetic factors. I was reading in a book by Jared Diamond (The Rise and Fall of the Third Chimpanzee) that most people tend to get involved in long-term relationships with people who look, and behave, rather like their opposite sex parent. Also, we tend to select mates who have similar social status, political views, religious / philosophical beliefs, etc. It seems pretty clear that most of us tend to look for what is already familiar to us from our personal histories, and that therefore the 'memes' that we find attractive will vary from one person to the next.

I suppose if someone grew up in an environment where people around them weren't particularly humorous - for example - they probably wouldn't grow up with the idea of humour as a desirable personality trait, and would therefore tend to select a mate with a serious disposition. I wouldn't have thought there would be any universally 'desirable' traits, because what is desirable would vary between different people.

Piercing eyes? This trend is going too far!!!

Divorce in my mind is an option! Though I say that light heartedly as I will not stay with a woman beater. However I hope that I have enough sense to choose a man who will be good to me. If it doesn't work out for my future husband and I, then we will cross that bridge when/if we get there.

Everyone says that when they marry it's for life, I just wish it worked out that way. My sister is still recovering from her first marriage, she could not believe that the man she had married could be what he turned out to be, but then I only heard one side of the story and you cannot analyse someones relationship as you are not part of it.

Mel

When I got married, I was 100% certain it would last forever, and now I'm divorced, not because of any violence or fighting, just because it didn't work out and we both realized it in time. That divorce has saved our (very close) friendship, and that's worth a lot more to me than staying true to those marriage-vows.

It's difficult I can't say I'll marry for life I want to, but no one knows what will happen in the future.

We can but try

Mel

That's the spirit Mel!

An interesting one that. I, personally, have stated that I will never get married. This is because I don't believe I could live up to the marraige vows (specifically the life long bit, how do I know what is going to happen) and I would feel really bad about swearing to do something I didn't think I could. I also couldn't make those promises to someone I liked, for fear of disappointing them. Does that make sense?
Well, that and I have a bet on that I won't as well

So, you could never run for US-president then?
Anyway, don't become a politician, Munchkin...

Oh, well, I used to say the same thing, but only fools never change their minds... (This leaves you with an excellent escape-route if you ever DO get married...)

If I ever run for US president you are perfectly entitled to give me a slap. If nothing else for lieing about my nationality

Don't worry, I'm not the "slapping" kind... (Mind you, some presidents could use a slap from time to time...)

I feel the same way. I don´t want to say I do if I can´t be a 100% sure. So no marriage for me either.

Hmm, I never finished that Diamond book. Better borrow it again. Actually I didn´t think there would be universal memes either. In the same way that there are only a few universal physical things.

Personally, I feel that marriage should be the pervue of the couple. That means that, if you aren't confortable with the vows, you can write your own! That way, they fit who and what you are and what the relationship means to you, rather than what "marriage" meant to a bunch of crusty religous bachelors a couple of centuries ago or a couple of crusty political bachelors not quite so long ago.

G7

I thought I would never get married, but its not such a bad thing really. I quite like mine and the doctors marriage actually. We'll see how well it lasts when we actually live in the same city after I graduate!
hxx

Yes, living in the same city, or even in the same house, can make a lot of differnce...

Kidding aside, I wish you both the best of luck and nothing but happiness (and the occasional disagreement to spice things up, it would quickly become tedious otherwise).