h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

I find myself doing that more and more. Not sure what it means mind.

It can't be healthy... I think???

That would certainly explain a lot

Wow I got to the end of all those posts, Now I can't think of anything to say! You seem to have exhasted the entire subject!

I'm lucky I have found a very nice man, only problem is he lives 130miles away and soon he will be going to uni in Liverpool whilst I go to Surrey. Ahhh well I'm sure we'll cope, we have for the past *counts on fingers* 5 1/2 months!

For those men who aren't 'getting any' is that what you're really after? If so why don't you hire a lady of the night.

On that note .....Would you enter a relationship without sex? ........Could someone mean that much to you?

Mel

Yup I would. I have done so in the past. I'm a Christian and don't want to have sex before marriage.

*starts up a whole new debate...*

Hey I started the debate but in a slightly different way!

It's nice to find a person after my own heart P, glad to know it wont be me against all in the debate!

Mel

A friend of mine went to the uni Christian Union. They all got into little groups to have a discussian about sex before marriage. The leader of her group kicked off with something along the lines of "Do we really have to discuss this? I've done it, you've done it, everybody's done it. End of story."

My friend nearly fell off her chair in shock and was about to chip in with "Finally, someone who is prepared to say that not all christians are committed to this no sex before marriage lark...."

...

...when she realised that what he actually meant was that they had all TALKED about it (many times) before.

I know Christians who don't follow it, that's their choice, but the point is they try to teach others that sex b4 marriage is wrong, I can't stand hypocrites, they really annoys me!

At least I practice what I preach (or in some cases I try to, not thinking bad thoughts about people is v difficult and can often not be helped)

Mel

To be frank (and this isn't about Christian bashing. I was brought up in the church and still have a deal of respect for it), I never got this particular ban.

In theory it was because the man used to go out and earn the money while the woman stayed home and looked after the kids, no sex before marriage, fewer fatherless children.

Nowadays it's a sign of commitment and enduring love, you can only give your virginity to one person, make it the right one.

It also cuts out any worries of STD's, teenage pregnancies etc, not all contraceptives are 100%.

Mel

Yeeeeees. But...

I remember an old thread on h2g2 where one researcher had said they wanted to wait and were getting mildly flamed for it and put under a lot of pressure.

Personally I would never criticise any one for what is a personal decision. If they want to wait that is cool and no one has the right to have a go at them about it.

I am just a big hippy at heart!

It's just that making rigid rules about these things turns it into less about commitment, love and all the rest and more about keeping the rule.

Also I really do not want to get married, so...

It's each to their own, I want to get married and settle down with the right person, so for me it's not a rule it's something I decided for myself. My brother and sister don't follow it but it was how my mum was, she didn't impose it on us, just gave us the choice, so I chose.

Mel

[sml post, but... Not flaming. Not. Hope not, anyway. It certainly doesn't bother me, and is largely a more responsible attitude than some. You are talking to a woman who comes from the teenage pregnancy capital of the uk]

Yeah, you chose not to wait, but I waited till I was nicely settle with a house and a fiance, and then he dumped me!!
I have a reputation for being a bit of a slapper, so sometimes I wish I waited, but I find sex is an important thing in a relationship now. Hugs are good too though.

I understand there used to be a fairly widespread concept of betrothal whereby people felt free to make love after an agreement to marry. Presumably a few hundred years ago, there was a fair likelihood that repeated sex would lead quite quickly to pregnancy, which made a change of mind for either partner less possible than it may be today.

The attitude of the various Christian churches towards marriage and sex does seem to have varied quite widely. At one point, even sexual activity within marriage, and with a procreative purpose was viewed as potentially defiling, since women were considered as inherently impure.

I'm sorry things didn't work out for you and your fiance.

Did you feel sex was important before you had it or was it that once you had a taste for it you wanted more? (No disrespect/offence intended) or is it that you feel physically and emotionally closer to your partners?

My other reason is that I don't want to choose my husband on how good he is in bed. In theory if I am a virgin when I marry I will not have anyone to compare my husband to. I hate the thought of all my friends talking about their boyfriends and what they're like in bed, being either how I am discussed or how think about my partner. Needless to say that they don't discuss details with me but innuendos can be fairly revealing sometimes often too much so.

Mel

If I was still to consider myself a christian I would subscribe to the view that the song of songs is included in the bible, therefore god must have made sex within marriage as a wonderful gift.

As it is I've never been a good girl, so the christians at my mothers church tutted about me, so i went of to find a religeon that didn't.
I wasn't smoking, taking drugs, no underage drinking, or shop lifting, no I comited the unholy crime of listening to nirvana and dying my hair purple.

You mean Al Bundy's not a good role model???? So that's where I've been going wrong.....

Technically I'm christian, but only because I didn't have any choice in the matter as a child. Personally, as a scientist, I don't believe in any kind of all powerful entity.