h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

if perhaps you were interested in wombats
then you should pay a visit
To Virginia Woolf
if you were interested

Weren't We discussing the Earth?

If I might add to the body of entries on this subject:

Earth is a place where life suddenly got the hang of it.
It tried for aeons and eras on many many many other planets,
(including Mars, Rupert and Ba' Onken Skukt) and when it found Earth it tried again, finally succeeding in maintaining homeostasis (through a process which also involved photosynynythesisths). Homeostasis eventually nodded off and was surprised by its relative (in name only) called homosapiens, involving a process called evolotion or the development of shampoos, conditioners and suchlike. With evolotion, the way was free for civil isolation, the term for a species which develops the notion of being the only smart and well-mannered species in it´s neighbourhood.
We've seen it with the British colonies, and you can also relate this to a larger scale of mankind towards all other species of flora and fauna (including dolphins and white mice, even petunias)

Eventually, though some may say this is a cynical forecast, life will realise that this wasn´t quite what it had in mind and move on, to be replaced by something for which this mere human has no name yet, but which must be very gooey indeed.

And I thought I was weird!!
.-)

I was right too!
.- :- :-|

Earth is in fact just brownish, gritty stuff that gets under your fingernails and makes a rather attractive residence for worms - and other species. Worms seem to be the only ones named after it so I guess they're the Higher Form Of Life you were struggling to think of.
The planet itself (i.e. the physical object, it's ecosystems, atmosphere, etc.) is pretty much an afterthought to the great working of life that is worm kind.

Yeah right, she's just trying
to say she watches "Earthworm Jim"!

Earth as it has been said before is in fact made up of dirt and other pieces of grit it has many precious things in it and is also my temperory home also does anyone know why and who called it Earth because I think that it could sound better using a better name such as "The Marble Of The Galaxy" or the Home of the ancient ancestors or something like that.

Soon to be superseded by The Earth Mk II.

What are you on about, Warchild?
And by the way, I like your page.

glenn you are totally insane it should not be called the marble of the galaxy because a marble is made out of glass , Dur!! it should be called the giant floating ball of mud O.K.

No, no no! Thy infidel.

It should be called "Balladirt" as the ancients decreed it.

Thus sayeth I.

According to Mr. Odin, Mr Thor, Ms Frigg and all that bunch of crazy, mixed up deities, The Earth is known as Midgard. It is to be found between Hel, or Nifleheim, the land of ice, and Muspelheim, the land of fire. It is reached from Asgard (where all the best raves are) by Bisfrost, the rainbow bridge. It was formed by ye goddes from the dead body of the giant Aurgelmir, his flesh being the land, his blood being the oceans etc.
So it would seem that we are all living as worms, maggots, nematodes and vermians on the putrefying remains of one seriously large corpse.


Pass the salt, anyone???

Yuch!!

You think that's bad? You wanna know what they eat in iceland?
I quote from lonely planet....
"Hakari-putrefied sharks meat that has been buried in sand and gravel for 3 to 6 months to ensure sufficient decomposition. Even carrion birds won't touch this stuff so it can be buried anywhere. it reeks like a cross between week old 'road kill' and ammonia cleaner (some would say stale piss) and most foreigners fail to fully appreciate its appeal. Once I managed to get passed the smell and swallow a diminutive chunk,the taste wasn't suprising - it was as revolting as expected."
Yum Yum.
The LP then goes on to describe other delectable morsals such as head cheese and rams' testicles pickled in whey.
Is it any wonder Bjork sings the way she does?? She must be in mortal agony.

you should have had the wombat then.

A dish to be relished. A meat that isn't murder, a meat that is justifiable homicide.

So, basically, we're all living on one big wombat corpse?

Is that not a little unhygienic

It's funny, the idea of lands and landscape features being formed from the bodies of gods, giants, animals etc is one that crops up frequently in mythologies from around the world. So there's bound to be someplace on earth formed from dead wombats.

Well, that's all very interesting, but what do the wombats think about this? I'm sure they'd have an interesting opinion about the idea that the entire planet is one big, dead representative of their species.