h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

*as sea sneaks into the now seemingly deserted S*T*A*T*S HQ and ransacks the place. she then pours gasoline about and looks for her matchbook*

*looks*

*looks*

*At the sound of the curse, metal covers slam down, covering the doorways and windows, the lights flick on and a speaker crackles to life.*

Aha! It worked! They wouldn't believe me, but I told them, "she's as curious as a cat - she'll show up sooner or later." And here you are!

Now, were you looking for something? Oh, I see. You need a light.

*A little door in the ceiling opens and a book of matches drops out. The little door in the ceiling closes.*

*banging on a metal door*

Hey! Sea! Are you OK in there?

*appears behind Titania and thoroughly douses her with S*T*A*T*S patented Alabaster spray - guaranteed to incapacitate Goo users*

*takes protective gloves and breathing mask off and talks into lapel mike*

Heh heh heh - two for the price of one Boss. Send a collection team down to level one ~over~

Oh and there is a cute little sloth here as well. Await instructions ~over~

*swirls around, still very much awake*

Not so fast, mister! Who are you calling a Goo user?

*the unau snarls viciously at Red Dog*

*gives Red Dog a punch on the nose - left, rigth, finting witht the left while punching with the right again*

*meanwhile Ripleys slides down, crawls around Red Dog and climbs up the back of his legs, up his back and puts his arms around him, efficently pinning his arms to his side*

*satisfied to see that her foreign spelling has put Red Dog off his guard*

*gives him a sock on the jaw*

ohhhh, CRAP!

*pockets matches, remembering that she's doused the place with gasoline, so she oughtn't burn it down if she's trapped inside*

titania! is that you? i didn't think anyone was still here!

*starts pounding on the walls, looking for an exit/weak spot*

*the trained fighter calmly rides with the blows softening them through his Zen master training and waiting for a suitable opening to present itself*

*after a moment run off with the Unau into another part of the S*T*A*T*S complex*

*he dashes through an open security doorway which closes behind him and the unau*

*finds creaky spot on the wall, starts kicking it and throwing her shoulder into it, slowly denting the wall*

*s off*

*returns with a crowbar*

*puts ear against wall to find out what sea is doing*

*hears creaking*

*tries to locate it*

*starting to get tired, but there's a noticeable dent in the wall*

*pauses for a moment*

*looks for chair*

*spies chair*

*goes to get chair*

*tries to ease the crowbar into crack next to metal door*

*heaves*

*the crowbar has a rubber-covered handle*

nicely done, titania!

*sea hears the door being pried at, uses chair to bang at the knob, in case that helps at all*

*hanging from the crowbar with both hands, feet pressed against wall, heaving*

*not heavy enough*

*sends telepathic S.P.A. message*

*dashes in and grabs onto the crowbar*

heeeeeeeeeeeave.......

*The door suddenly gives way and flys open. Inside is another door.

Meanwhile, inside the room where sea is, the air conditioning suddenly starts to go at full blast. The temperature drops rapidly to just above freezing and stays there.

A small compartment in one wall opens, revealing a kitten-fur coat behind an unbreakable glass shield.

A voice comes on the loudspeaker in the room:*

Bet you wish you had THAT, now, eh sea? Bwahahahaha!




Are you sure this is tormenting enough?

What?

Oh, not again!

*click*

*opens cupboard door*

*peers out, only to walk into a fur coat*

*picks it up*

[Corrigible warps in, accompanied by a Gustaff mech. He suddenly realizes he's brought it with him. The mech swings its fist and Corrigible ducks. The fist smashes through the new door and stays there, twitching for a moment.]

[Tron Bonne] [from within the mech] Crap! It's stuck!

[Corrigible] I didn't do it!

*sees sarge in the coat compartment*

SARGE! TAKE THE COAT AND GO! TAKE IT!

*waves arms wildly, which has a double significance: getting sarge to take the coat and keeping warm*